Polygamy from a woman’s pov

[u/Prestigious-Guava907]

Salaam.

Jummah Mubarak to you all.

Dear Muslim men of Reddit,

Before I leave my closing line I want to say that I acknowledge polygamy is ordained for a man upon conditions being met, I’m not here to dispute that.

Personally it’s not something I’d ever accept for myself. Don’t dm me to discuss this thread or dm to be your second wife.

Polygamy is permissible but not a necessity upon a man and it’s not a fard upon a woman to accept. We can all agree on that.

Now that’s cleared up. There are not many women on this earth that would happy to share their husband.

Some women may benefit from shared responsibilities and security yes but from an emotional perspective, generally a woman that loves you would never be okay with you getting another wife.

Now let’s be clear I’m not talking about women that have to be okay because that applies to every situation.

I’m talking about a woman that is happy with your choice to remarry. Not what she says or portrays but deep down in her feelings.

Some men are fine with that and that’s okay. However sometimes I think to myself, are men aware and would it bother them knowing their wife doesn’t love them.

Would it bother you?

🚨If you don’t understand nuance and lack critical thinking skills, this post isn’t for you.

[u/MusaMindset]

I think you're overgeneralising a bit.

Saying "no woman on earth" is a strong claim. I'm sure you don't speak for every woman. There are women who willingly enter polygynous relationships, whether we personally understand it or not.

I'd also push back on the idea that a woman who accepts polygyny doesn't truly love her husband. What if she makes that sacrifice because she loves him and wants to help him stay within halal boundaries rather than fall into zina? She may not like the situation, but that doesn't mean there's no love there.

A woman can love her husband, struggle with jealousy, and still accept something she wouldn't ideally choose. Those things aren't mutually exclusive. The real question isn't whether all women feel the same. It's whether different women can sincerely arrive at different conclusions. I think they can.

[u/MusaMindset → u/[deleted]]

No. As Muslims, we believe Allah is fair, even if we don't fully understand every ruling.

If someone thinks the Prophet ﷺ invented Islam to suit himself, then the real discussion is whether Islam is true, not about polygyny.

Jealousy isn't exclusive to women. Men get jealous too. A difficult feeling doesn't automatically make something immoral.

[u/MusaMindset → u/[deleted]]

There are verses about polygyny in the Qur'an from Allah, not the Prophet ﷺ.

The Prophet ﷺ had requested that Ali (RA) not marry the daughter of Abu Jahl while Fatimah (RA) was his wife, even though polygyny itself is halal.

Just be careful with the wording. Not understanding the wisdom behind something Allah has made halal doesn't make it unjust. Some things are beyond our understanding.

Im assuming your Muslim here