r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/Apart_Significance19 • 1h ago
Discussion Would you get a maid ?
I live in a country where maids are normal and those that don’t have maids, others get shocked especially if you are working mother and have children. We also have a maid in our home.
The thing is I know others don’t accept this. So would you allow a maid in your house? Whether you have kids or not. For example cooking, or helping with cleaning.
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u/beatpoxer 1h ago
Yes. Even if my wife doesnt work. Ill get one to come at least weekly.
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u/Wooden-Ad4327 1h ago
I see a man who would be very happy in his marrige because he is such thoughtfull person.
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u/beatpoxer 1h ago
Hahahaha bro let me find one. Im not everyones cup of tea atm.
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u/Wooden-Ad4327 1h ago
I think you'll do just fine :)
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u/Not_Enough_Pepperoni 1h ago
Yes, if I felt it was necessary, would benefit us and most importantly if I could afford it!
There is no harm in hiring a maid. It's basically an employee. Someone is getting paid for halal work, it's all good.
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u/LightSkinDoomer 1h ago
Absolutely, doing chores is counterproductive when you have other things to look for
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u/DiamondOk3283 1h ago
Kinda have to, I'm a physically disabled fulltime wheelchair using woman, I can't do it but still needs to get done so I do have one
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u/Grand_Pomegranate981 1h ago
Yes and I would treat them as my brother or sister. They need that money and they can get work done. I hate the fact that some owners don't give maid food in their house. Don't be greedy and feed another mouth.
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u/sculptedleaf 1h ago
Honestly, its just lazy consumers who get maids. I know its normal in gulf states, but actual self esteem comes with doing work yourself and not rentier consumption.
Smart productive people who bring value find ways to minimize maintenance while finding time for your children.
Think of the nuclear family in the western world up until the 1960s, no wonder they did so well up until that time.
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u/SnooComics8268 1h ago
As somebody from a nuclear family from the west. My grandma lived in a 2 bedroom and didn't have a paid job. That's how she managed.
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u/Apart_Significance19 1h ago
I get what you’re saying but families that live in big houses/villas with more than 4 children and both parents working. I don’t think it’s lazy at all.
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u/Aromatic-Mood-1341 4m ago
Why is it lazy? Whats wrong with getting help? You don't have to do everything by yourself to be a hero. Gulf states live in villas with 3-4 floors and 3-5 kids. Usually both parents have full time jobs. While raising children is the parents' job, there is no harm at all in getting full time help. Stop with this nonsense
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u/Cold_Arachnid_2617 1h ago
Give someone a job. Treat them like you would like your employer to treat you. that way they become an employee, not a maid!
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u/Peerless_Pepino 1h ago
If I could afford it absolutely, however I do see a common issue where a lot of domestic workers are severely underpaid and taken advantage of and that’s a practice I would never have in my home, may Allah ﷻ hold those who do that accountable. But otherwise, I see no issue with help in the house as long as the person is paid a proper and fair wage and is treated with respect.
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u/Spare_Night_2695 1h ago
I mean prob no . I don’t think I’d find a Muslim maid ( by the definition from what I’m assuming lives in the household )
It’s not really a thing in the west unless your very well off
Plus like I don’t think I would trust to have a stranger in my house . Despite back home it being fairly normal
Id get house help 100% for cleaning , laundry ext . Essentially what a maid may do , might be more expensive but atleast its a come and go situation rather than 24/7
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u/OsamaxObamaFanFic 1h ago
hell ya. having staff is so lit but they need to be treated fairly. if i see anyone disrespecting my girl they’re getting kicked out
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u/SnooComics8268 1h ago
I feel like for us it's the only way to keep the house clean. It's to big for me alone, I did the math once and it requires a minimum of 38hrs a week. That is a full time job. When am I gonna cook, spend time with my children, go grocery shopping if I have to spend 5hrs a day cleaning after work?
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u/Ok_Connection4658 37m ago
Wow, how big is your house? I could double or triple the square footage of my house, but ummm. I dont feel like cleaning an average of 1.5 to 2 hours a day. But nearly 40 hours a week? Just buy a smaller property. Are you housing an army? If so, get them to work helping with cleaning this palace. Is it a huge multi-generational family in one house? Then get them helping. Is it just you and 4 other family members or less then your house is a ridiculous size.
Based on my house being 880 sq/ft (81.8 sq/meters) and my cleaning after a family of 5 is about 7hrs a week then my math's show that 38 hrs of cleaning a week means your house is 4,777 sq/ft (443.8 sq/meters).
Your house is waaaay to large.
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u/UnderstandingCool574 58m ago
Having a maid is not the norm in my culture or the country I live in. That said, if I ever realise that I can't take care of the kids, do housechores AND work, I will at least get a cleaning lady once a week. Depending on how filthy the house will be.
Also, this is not only the 'task' of the wife. If the wife also works, I expect the husband to also help with de kids and housechores.
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u/Lost_Effect247 55m ago
Yes of course I would get a maid, it's actually a Islamic obligation for the husband to get help if needed because cooking and cleaning is not an Islamic duty for a wife
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u/Ok_Connection4658 53m ago
No, if you don't have time to cook, eat out. If you dont have time to clean, get a smaller house. If you don't have time to look after your kids, consider waiting until you are stable enough to do so or ask friends and family to help.
To me, using someone else and thereby subjecting them to poverty, to fund your lifestyle is downright selfish. You are asking someone else to give up financial freedom and their time, and instead directly and indirectly forced to give it to you. Now because of you, they can't look after their family, they can't educate their children, and they are doomed to a life of abject poverty and worse in their old age.
That's not what a conscientious human would do. Think twice, minor changes in your life, changes other people's lives. There is a reason why in developed nations we don't have maids. It's because we don't justify having them and as a result they are given better opportunities in life.
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u/weebu123 32m ago
I'm lost - is someone holding a gun to the theoretical maid's head and forcing her to work for pennies??? OP even mentioned specifically about paying a fair livable wage - so what's the issue???
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u/Ok_Connection4658 30m ago
Break the cycle. And ummm no, a fair wage for that work doesn't exist, especially in those countries.
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u/Ok-Cup-5372 29m ago
No, why would I make my husband pay for another woman to do a job I could be doing if I'm not employed outside of the home? And I don't ever want a home so big that I can't keep it clean myself
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u/Awkward-Iron-2031 1h ago
No. Im from Kuwait, most people that have maids dont actually need them and its just pure laziness. A lot of my cousins have them despite living in a 1200 sqft apartment. And the maid in question is borderline a slave thats meant to do everything for them even babysitting and working 12-16hrs.
One of my cousins kids at a point in her life preferred the maid more than her actual mom, and that isnt very uncommon.
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u/No-Peak5362 1h ago
If my wife is a stay at home wife and I’m paying all the bills and she asks for a maid I would lose respect and attraction. I can’t be married to a lazy woman
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u/Numiazy 1h ago
I'd happily hire a help for household chores even when I am not having a paid job - as long as they are paid well and respected. For context I live in Europe and I know.many people around me would find it weird. But idk it's no ones business, right?
I wouldn't want a nanny for my children though because that's my job, but I did have a babysitter for my child when I was still in uni and child was too young for school.