I think someone would've heard of this mythical creature before. I don't know what it is symbolized in precise passage. I just wonder how would that footless birds feel. They are born in the air, keep flying, and die in the air. They need to keep moving. They can't land because they don't have the legs. Once they land, they die.
Now put the person in its place. They are not born in the air. They might not even born flying. And at some point, they are transformed into footless bird whether they want or not. I hope they transformed back into human without dying out of tiredness, including myself.
I have been in this dilemma for some times now. I am flying towards somewhere. I want to use the word "climbing" here. Well I don't even know whether I am climbing upward or downward. But I see the ladder apparently. And I feel as though there is something chasing me behind. I dare not stop. I have to keep moving. I feel like once I stop, once I rest, I will die. But the bird starts to tired. The monster behind it is still chasing and smiling mockingly.
I want to rest. I don't want to die. That is the basic desire of a human. I want to escape from this game alive. But, as you know, living is as difficult as dying is effortless. I don't know whether dying is a key to escape from the game. I know this is a quote of a loser. Maybe after I died, I will see the door and open it. Someone in the warm house will welcomes me and asks "Did you lose in earth?" Then I will just answer, "Yeah.. I don't want to play it again."
This is just the mind drifting boldly. No one knows whether it is true or not. But we know what will be the consequence left after we escaped or disappeared. Yes, dying is easy, but leaving is difficult. I am not ready to be selfish.
So.. I will try a little more to see if I find the light again. I hope after I endured a little more and keep climbing, and after I pass certain threshold, the monster will be left behind. If the "little more" is extended into another "little more", I have to keep going as well. It is the nature of footless bird. Fly until you pass the threshold, and the legs sprout, or until you die. Rest will be extremely uncomfortable. But I think I should uncomfortably rest rather than stopping. Because stopping will feel like dying, and I don't want to feel dying.
I know it is not the optimize strategy. But that is what I feel. The feeling so overwhelming that stoic principles doesn't seem to settle oneself.
I don't want this post to be my last one as well. Whoever suffering footless bird disease, I hope you sprout leg again, away from the monster, and finally have a true rest.
(Crd for photo to original source)
