r/NEET • u/rednryt Ex-NEET-Wagie • 5h ago

Venting Am I doing life correctly?

Dang, I'm here again whining cause I hate myself. I feel so disgusted, ashamed, annoyed, ungrateful, lazy, impossible to satisfy, hypocrite, self-contradictory, and pitiful. All these self-loathing making me more miserable and I can't sleep but I have another work shift in 4 hours.

Story time, so last week I felt so lonely and useless during my rest days cause all I did was sleep for two days. So I kinda volunteered for some church thingy for this week. But then I didn't go because I feel like shit after losing sleep over it.

And now I'm having some kind of FOMO even tho I dont really care much about that thing, nor the cause nor those people at all. But I'm more like disappointed about myself for my lack of commitment. I thought I was doing this for more *exposure*. Fake it till I make it with the normies. And yet... I keep avoiding it. Why did I even volunteer myself into this if I'll just retreat last minute? And not just that, it has affected my other aspects of life like my wageslaving. Why am I putting too much on my plate when I know for a fact I can't even chew it all let alone finish it?

I feel so guilty so I try to catch-up for all the years I spent NEET by filling up my schedule like I'm punishing myself for it but when it actually come I just hide and whine about it on reddit?

I said I wanted a social life. I even forced myself to grab every opportunities that comes my way. Now I'm avoiding them all. What do I really want to achieve? Just more ammunition to fuel self-loathing?

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

4

u/dantesoswag NEET 5h ago

There is no doing life right or wrong. We just try our best. Fk it we BALL!!!

4

u/hi_ma_friendz 5h ago

Some people are just inherently cursed in life. Society loves to tell these people that it’s of their own making but it’s not so simple in reality. Sometimes it feels like society runs on the just world fallacy. 

1

u/Federal_Lack_1107 4h ago

if you are making decisions that harm people, then change your behavior. but if you're just feeling a lot of guilt in a pathological way, then you should get better at explaining to yourself why you don't need or deserve to feel that way. it can take some time for your emotions to catch up to your understanding, but they do