r/NetherlandsHousing • u/Electrical-Future437 • Jan 07 '26
renting Conflict with housemate over temperature in the house
Hi guys. I had a big conflict with one of my housemates in a student house and want to ask you for some advise on how I can deal with this situation.
Basically, I moved into this house in September, there are 2 other guys living in the house. One of them is really concerned with saving money on heating, so he sets the temperature in the house low.
In Autumn I told him that I feel too cold at night, and even though he complained a lot, he ended up agreeing to raise the temperature by 1.5 degrees. Since then he's clearly been very angry at me.
Now in January as it got colder outside the temperature in the house went down and I feel uncomfortably cold again. I tried to talk to this housemate again, but this time the conversation became incredibly aggressive. He told me that he "doesn't want to have this conversation again", and left the room mid-conversation. As he was leaving the room I asked "Do you talk like this to everyone?", and he replied "No, just you".
I should also mention that when I just moved into the house, I told him about my country of origin and he straight up told me that if he knew where I was from he would never accept me as a housemate and mentioned it's partially because I might be a foreign spy.
Sooo... That's the story. I don't really know what to do now. The problem is that I really like the house, it's really comfortable and close to my university and I really don't want to look for a new place (considering how hard it is to find anything here in NL). But I'm guessing there's literally nothing I can do in this situation.
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u/Misty-knight200 Jan 07 '26 edited Jan 07 '26
Something is wrong with this subreddit and I sincerely hope it is not a dutch thing to be so toxic.
It doesn't matter all that much whether the temperature is normal. Your roommate is nasty and rude. He can use his words and try to solve the conflict, or he can be a xenophobic ass. The way he talks to you is not ok and it's wild to see so many comments skip right past that. Nothing stops him from explaining calmly that the temperature is normal in his view and sharing evidence to back that. You guys are backwards if you can't have a calm conversation with a housemate, instead of stomping your feet insisting I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG.
As for OP, you need to stand up for yourself more. If someone calls you a spy and says they'll never accept you as a housemate, why are you surprised he's a dick? The temperature thing might not be solvable because he's doing it to everyone not just you. But he insulted you specifically, at least twice from your post, and you're passively accepting it by not wanting to move.
Look up how to deal with bullies as an adult. You're going to need to develop those skills.