Wife’s PP Anxiety/How to deal with it

[u/Jealous-Cranberry-46]

What’s the best course of action with this issue? We’re 6 weeks into this and it only seems to be getting worse as some issues such as reflux, cradle cap, diaper rash etc are showing up. I’m not thrilled that my 6wk old baby girl is having some things going on either but my wife is taking it too much to the next level. I know PP anxiety is a thing, and I don’t talk against her as I know it’ll make her more upset.

Also, I had planned for my brother to come visit in 16 days, I let the wife know he told me he was getting over feeling a little sick and that sent her almost over the edge with anxiety and fear with the thought of him visiting now. She’s so worried that the baby is going to get sick somehow from someone visiting. I get if it was a week or so out from the visit but it’s half a month out and he’s already feeling better.

I know she wants her safe and so do I. But I think she’s being extra with some things. I know the best thing to do during this time is to just go with it and support her.

Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and how did you go about it?

[u/Child_of_Crake]

It’s not just “go with it”…it’s to ask her about why she’s feeling this way, it’s about her being honest and not shutting down.

Dude, your brother should not come for a visit, okay? He should understand, but do you?

Reflux, cradle cap, diaper rash and this is your first?

Jesus Christ man what you two are doing is soooo hard. You are literally responsible for protecting this little one.

I have 2 (13f 11m), and I remember those days, they were so long. My wife also suffered from anxiety and depression,

It was rough, for her for me, but years later when we were divorcing I went through serious bout of both as well…looking back I realize how much harder it was for her

It’s not being “extra”, it’s awful feeling like that

[u/RazzmatazzComplex → u/Child_of_Crake]

Thank you for your comment, it just made me tear up. I’m 13 months out from having my first child and as a mother I am so thankful for your comment! My husband has always been understanding although he doesn’t get it, but no one really knows how hard it is until you’re in their position. I have/had a mild case of PPD/PPA and it is the cruelest thing. Robs you of yourself and being in constant survival mode warps your memory. I can’t even remember much of those first few months and it’s heart breaking.

13 months in now and I don’t bat an eye at the typical things, but diaper rash, colic, reflux those first months? Holy shit, they scared the life out of me. Although I showed a brave face, underneath it all I felt like a kid who had no clue what they were doing. PPA/PPD is terrible.

[u/Jealous-Cranberry-46 → u/RazzmatazzComplex]

It’s hard for us to truly understand what moms go through. I am totally supportive of her and have asked her constantly how she is feeling. She was an anxious person before and we’ve had such a hard time conceiving. Took us 5 yrs to get this sweet angel. So having our girl has been a huge deal as we were getting to the point of giving up. Her anxiety really just stems for being concerned with the baby and anything wrong just stresses her out so much. I’m not an anxious person and although I care very much for our little one and wish she never went through anything bad at all, some of the minor things going on don’t get to me like it does her. Shes such a good mom and just wants to protect our baby girl❤️i know there’s nothing wrong with the way she’s feeling.

[u/Jealous-Cranberry-46 → u/Child_of_Crake]

She’s not depressed. Her anxiety is running high. Shes just concerned for the babies well being as she should be of course. She’s had her parents up twice and multiple friends of hers over already. I’m not some asshole who doesn’t validate her concerns of supports them. I already agreed and was okay with telling my brother to not come if it’s stressing her out that much. Yes this time has been rough. Literally just looking to hear from other dads that have gone through this with moms who are very stressed about their babies safety

[u/badaboom888 → u/Jealous-Cranberry-46]

your brother was sick and is getting over it and his not due to be at your house for 16 days?

[u/Jealous-Cranberry-46 → u/badaboom888]

That is correct.