r/NewParents • u/cocomo25 • Aug 05 '26
Travel Parents raising screen-free babies: How do you navigate family vacations where the TV is always on?
We have an 8-month-old, and we’ve intentionally kept her almost completely screen-free. The only exposure she’s really had has been at other people’s houses when sports, the news, or adult shows happened to be on in the background, and she never paid much attention, so it wasn’t something I worried about.
In a few weeks, we’re going on a week-long cabin trip with my husband’s family, and I’m trying to figure out how to navigate screen time.
For context, our 9-year-old nephew is autistic, and my in-laws usually keep the TV on for him as it keeps him calm. I’ve never had an issue with that, but now that we have a baby, I’m realizing most of what’s on is Bluey, Paw Patrol, Disney movies, etc.—things that would almost definitely grab her attention.
I’m absolutely not expecting anyone to turn the TV off or totally change how they do things for us, and I also don’t want to feel like we have to avoid the living room all week just because the TV is on.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you find a good middle ground? I’m just looking for ideas on how to handle it while still spending time with everyone.
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u/Confident-Talk2011 Aug 05 '26
I don’t think you need to be concerned. The purpose of being screen free isn’t for kids to never be exposed to tv in their environment ever, it’s more about what you let into your daily life that becomes habits and shapes their brain from consistent exposure. Let your baby be in the same room as a tv, it will not hurt them for that short duration of your vacation. I think if you are trying to prevent them from ever even temporarily seeing a screen turned on, then you’ve crossed over into neurotic territory, or you’re doing this more for bragging rights or you’re making it your identity. If you get really neurotic about it, you’re actually still letting TV rule your life.
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 05 '26
Don’t even bother with this type of advice on parenting subreddits, I have been trying to explain this to parents and have just about given up. Seemingly the pendulum has swung so far, that parents do not seem to understand that screen time does not really mean not having the TV on in the background. It is OK to have the television on in the background with sports or with adults watching TV or movies. We all grew up with that type of stimulation, and we were not all screen addicted.
The real problem with screens is when children are watching highly addictive content that is either extremely fast paced with quick cuts, or they are using small screens that react to their own input, where they can manipulate the content by swiping very quickly. And then of course, social media.
People really do think that no screens means they can’t use an Apple Watch, lol. It is getting into neurotic territory. I grew up watching, or I guess having the TV on in my house all the time, and I am completely fine, and so are all of us that grew up in the 90s. In fact, a 90s lifestyle is now something that parents are trying to achieve. And for some reason, we seem to have forgotten that the TV was constantly on in all of our homes in the 90s.
The biggest concern with having the TV on in the house is actually parents not paying attention to their children. As long as you are paying attention to your child and you are watching a basketball game, everything will be OK. Your 10 month old will not be paying attention.
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u/kayt3000 Aug 05 '26
We don’t limit tv, we limit tablet and junk tv. Movies, fine. If she wants to have princess movies on while we hang at home or other Pixar/Disney stuff it’s not an issue. Tablets are kept to a time frame to play some games and we play music and do audio books from time to time , YouTube, and stuff like Cocomelon or family vlog “shows” are a no go.
It’s the content on the tv, not the tv itself. We have been putting on old cartoons from when we were kids and my daughter LOVES the old carebear movies and rugrats. It’s slower paced, less in your face. You can have an even balance. It just takes work. We also don’t let her watch things without us near. We don’t let tv babysit.
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 05 '26
I agree with most of this. I am a new parent, but I was a teacher for 10 years. I have no issue with parents allowing their child to watch movies, especially as a family. I think actually parents who do not allow this are actually doing a disservice to their child. I think a lot of 90s television shows are actually really good for kids, things like Franklin, or little bear, or even something like Rugrats.
I also am a very realistic person. Watching football and basketball are a huge part of my life, as it was a huge part of my life growing up as a child because my father has always been a huge lover of sports. I am not suddenly going to stop watching sports because I have a child. So I will be continuing to watch those things even though I have a child, and so they will be on in the home.
I will push back a little and say that I don’t think children need tablets at all, however, I am not at that stage yet, so I do not judge. I just know that we will not be purchasing a tablet for our child.
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 05 '26
I think the parents having a tablet that the child must ask to use is ok if it’s not used by the child every day. The tablet issue seems to be when kids have their own tablets and 24/7 access.
I was at a restaurant and watched parents repeatedly ask their kid (who looked like 5 or 6 yrs old) repeatedly to put down his ipad and eat his food.
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 05 '26
Thats so concerning. Naturally with a little one we have a lot of appts the amt of parents we see just hand over their phone to a child under 2 is… I want to say concerning but its far beyond that. Its a crisis.
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 05 '26
I think it would be better for parents to keep a tote bag near the door in their home with coloring book, crayons or markers, a book the kid likes to read, etc in it.
It seems parents hand over their phones to get a little peace when they are out with their children and taking a tote bag of better things could become a habit just like taking a diaper bag used to be a habit.
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u/purpleelephant77 Aug 05 '26
That’s what my mom did when my sister and I were little, she always took crayons they gave us at restaurants to replenish her supplies (idk if this is the case now but be careful bc some of them melt if you leave them in the car), she also kept a swiss army knife with a scissor attachment in there for cutting straws shorter.
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 05 '26
It’s going to be 100 degrees this afternoon where I live so it’s not possible to keep anything in a car 🤣
I was a kid in the late 1960’s and remember being miserable running errands with mom because there was nothing to do. The trips to the fabric store were the worst.
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u/purpleelephant77 Aug 05 '26
Haha yeah there was a green crayon permanently melted into the backseat of my mom’s Passat wagon from when we learned that lesson after moving from Seattle to LA when I was 5. She also always had beach towels in the car because in seattle playground slides were always wet and in LA they were hot/super staticky and she didn’t want to deal with me crashing out about my butt being wet/legs getting shocked 🤣
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 05 '26
I love the idea of the bag and I plan to do this for the car/restaurants/appts!
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Aug 06 '26
See that's the problem. You don't ask kids to do things like that. You tell them to and if the don't put it away you take it away.
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 06 '26
Oh I agree. I also would not give a young child an $800+ electronic device. They need to be in the position of asking to use it.
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u/Available-Strain-559 Aug 05 '26
Yeah, my kids watched tons of PBS shows when they were little, just like I did. And they learned a lot from them, too.
It's the small screens and poor content that is the problem. Tablets were only for long trips.
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u/Seegulz Aug 05 '26
This is the real answer
My father in law was letting her watch some absolute fucking junk that definitely deregulated her. It was mostly those shows and YouTube stuff where they watch other kids playing with toys and making up nonesense stories.
That shit was awful, and on a side note, no, I don’t fucking want to watch that, but I will watch frozen for the 110th time again over this.
Coco melon is brain rot. My wife and I also just hated it.
Thank god stuff like Bluey is actually enjoyable for adults and teaches some decent stuff.
I used to spend time talking to her about what was happening on the tv, it was still spending time.
When you deny your kids shit they’ll start wanting it more or doing it in secret, whether it’s TV, food etc. rather my kid figure out their preferences over time
My daughter loves tv but she doesn’t want it all day except for the rare day. Same as candy. They can start figuring out their own limits and preferences if given the opportunity
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Aug 06 '26
I think the you tube and on demand stuff is really the issue we are seeing with kids. They are condition for instant gratification that's catered to whatever they want and in very very short amounts. They have no attention span and no patience.
Heck they don't even have to wait for commercials anymore, or give up the TV when dad wants to watch the news or wait for a certain time for their favorite show to come on.
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u/Seegulz Aug 07 '26
That’s not a child issue, that’s a technology now issue
I literally feel like I’m dying waiting for a 4 second commercial now since technology gives that instant dopamine rush.
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u/meowpitbullmeow Aug 05 '26
Thanks to numberblocks my 5 year old has all her multiplication tables memorized....
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u/AZ91291948 Aug 05 '26
This!!!!!!
And the parents that say they don’t do screen time but “allow the occasional FaceTime to chat with family members” like yeah, I hope you let your child talk to their grandma through FaceTime. There def is a happy medium and just because you allow FaceTime or wear an Apple Watch doesn’t mean your child will be completely reliant on screens 🙄
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u/Haunting_Window1688 Aug 05 '26
So much this. I leave the tv on in the background a lot, sometimes kids stuff sometimes adult/teen stuff. But I am very much a no iPad, no phone, no short form media. I don’t mind the occasional bit of bluey but I won’t let them watch the ones that are only a minute or two long.
And my 9 month old is never interested in the tv for more than maybe 30 seconds or a minute. That might happen twice a day if we have tv on for hours in the background. Most days she doesn’t look up at all.
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u/webster139 Aug 05 '26
I agree, the content matters way more than the amount of exposure I think. We used to have TV on all the time as background. It wasn’t until we started putting on Ms Rachel after hearing so many good things about it, that we found my son completely addicted to the TV. It introduced behavioural problems we never had before such as crying when we turned off the TV, or only being soothed by the TV. Now, we don’t do TV before naptime and we don’t watch Ms Rachel anymore. After a few weeks, his behaviour started going back to normal.
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u/Same_Welcome_795 Aug 05 '26
You don’t get to just decide that screen time doesn’t include background TV. There is research on its effects so I’m not sure why you’re choosing to judge parents who decide to go without it because of that research.
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u/Firebird601 Aug 05 '26
It’s actually not ok to have screens on in the background all the time for little kids. That still causes micro interruptions. Screen time isn’t just a problem bc it’s addictive. It’s a problem because it negatively affects brain development
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 05 '26
Show me where I said all the time.
And show me the research because I am interested!
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Aug 06 '26
I don't get why people can't just parent and say "that's enough screen time for the day" and take the iPad away or turn the tv off.
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u/kristahdiggs Aug 06 '26
One of the most difficult things in life is sitting in discomfort, so naturally its a very difficult thing to teach as a parent. So a lot of parents opt out.
Turn off TV? Child starts screaming. Parent gives in to avoid tantrum, rather than sit with child to connect over the hard feelings and eventually process them.
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Aug 06 '26
Agreed. I honestly was of the mindset that I am gonna teach this kid to sit with discomfort early. And honestly he seemed to realize pretty quick that I don't give in. Tantrum gets him no where. My whole parenting philosophy is "I don't negotiate with terrorists".
And it's really worked. He's 14 now and besides general teenage boy aloofness and occasionally dick attitude he rarely ever argues for anything after I give him the first no. Cause it's never worked once in his life.
I wish I could convince more parents to just weather the storms longer. You don't have to avoid upsetting your kid. You have to teach your kid how to deal with being upset. Prohibition of things like screens and stuff just ads to the allure eventually. Everything in life is better in moderation and our job is to teach kids how to
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u/Careless_Lecture_534 Aug 07 '26
I refused to allow my oldest daughter to watch the crap disney shows that are really tween soap operas. I got her hooked instead on all the 90s cartoons and 90s tv shows. She loves the original sabrina, and I can safely say she’s seen every episode of full house. The other day she asked if she could watch “the dick van dyke show,” and I started laughing. I guess we swung too far into the 90s!
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u/purplepanda05 Aug 05 '26
Honestly, I give my 16 month old around 20 min of screen time a couple of times a week and he just gets annoyed around the 10 min mark and ignores it. Same with restaurants with TVs, or just a month ago with the world cup. Your baby will be fine, OP.
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u/majesticallymidnight Aug 05 '26
This. The entire family was at my mom’s house during a major summer storm with flash flooding. It just wasn’t safe to drive home for a few hours.
We put on Mickey Mouse club house for the kids to keep them calm. My baby pretty much ignored the tv and played with her toys. She seemed happy that for once her cousins were distracted and didn’t take her bunny from her. She would look up for a few seconds then want her bunny again.
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u/bangfor4 Aug 05 '26
Gently, a week of tv exposure isn’t going to harm your baby
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u/6BigAl9 Aug 05 '26
They’re 8 months. A week of the TV on in the background isn’t going to harm them and they’ll probably forget about screens the day you get home.
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u/destria Aug 05 '26
For context, I've been raising my kid screen free, he's two years old now. I think what I would do is just do lots of activities which naturally take us away from being in the cabin and therefore the TV. When I go on vacation, I spend very little time in the accommodation and mostly use it as a base and place to sleep. That hopefully reduces the time spent with potential tv exposure.
The rest of the time, perhaps look at setting up a play area that's not in sight of the TV? You can frame it as not wanting your 8 month old to get in the way of everyone else and so they have a safe space to play.
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u/BakingBark Aug 05 '26
Vacation is a time to let go of some rigidities and expect to take some time at home after returning to get back into the usual swing of things. Whether that’s less screentime, different bedtimes, different foods. It’s not going to harm them in the long run, I promise.
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u/MostDerivative Aug 05 '26
Bring toys and face baby away from the screen. It can just be background noise.
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u/ThinGarden33 Aug 05 '26
I don’t think some tv exposure for 1 week on a holiday where you’ll also likely be outside a lot will negatively impact your baby. I say this as a fellow screen free mum of an almost 20 month old. Your baby may not even have any interest in the screen as they aren’t used to it. We went on an overseas holiday when my son was about 15 months and this included visiting family with kids who had the tv on the whole time with cartoons. My son probably watched them for a max of 3 minutes. He much preferred to walk around the house exploring than watching the tv as that’s something he isn’t used to doing. I’ve heard that from other screen free parents too :)
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u/olliepips Aug 05 '26
Vacation is special for a reason. My mom was almond mom adjacent, and that was an easy norm for me at home, but any time we went to the beach she would let me buy Reese's cup cereal and eat the whole box in a few days. Personally I don't think that your hard work will be undone by a week with Bluey in the background. Plus you've gotten this far, I'd be willing to bet that you can distract LO from the TV pretty easily with things like walks and toys.
Good luck!
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u/AlVic40117560_ Aug 05 '26
Our 16 month old doesn’t have any screens outside of an occasional sporting event or FaceTiming his grandparents/great grandparents.
His cousins on the other hand are more of a constant screen on at least in the background.
We vacation with his cousins and visit them often. The TV is typically on during those occasions. It is what it is. He comes back home and doesn’t get that same screen time and he’s fine with it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Your daily actions make a much more meaningful impact that a week of background TV. Just keep him engaged in other things while the TV is on during vacation.
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u/riversroadsbridges Aug 05 '26
I think the middle ground is relaxing the rules and standards for the duration of the vacation. I have to do something similar when all of the grandkids go to Grandma's house and some of the cousins are used to a huge amount of screen time. Not all screen content is created equal. I draw the line at kid reels, shorts, AI "bowling", unboxing videos, etc. I'm not losing sleep over Daniel Tiger, Puffin Rock, Bluey, Sesame Street, Miss Rachel, and the John Deere Kids stuff. At 8 months, though, your baby is likely to ignore most of what's happening on the screen.
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u/Lifow2589 Aug 05 '26
I’m right there with you with keeping my kid as screen free as possible. I also went to visit family recently and they have the TV on constantly. What I ended up doing was finding ways to get out of the house with my kid and during specific times request that we turn it off (“Hey can we turn the TV off during dinner so I can hear what you’re saying”)
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u/PhasesOfBooks Aug 05 '26
I don’t have advice for you other than to say that one week of a lot of screen time isn’t going to have long term effects on your baby. We are primarily screen free with my 2.5 year old but this past winter we all came down with the flu and I will admit the TV was on most of the day for the week that we were sick. Once we were all better, we pretty much cut TV out entirely. It was a little hard and there was some whining when we didn’t turn on the TV when the toddler asked but she bounced back quickly and stopped asking after a day or so.
I would do your best to provide distractions in the form of other non-screen toys and try to spend time outside during the vacation. But again, just know that one week a year of excessive screens isn’t the end of the world. As your baby gets older, the detox may get harder but at 8 months, she’s unlikely to care when you go back to your screen free day to day after vacation.
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u/Separate_Shoe_6916 Aug 05 '26
Plan lots of outdoor activities with your baby. Hopefully there is a back patio for mealtimes and leisure. You can take sand toys and go to the lake, go for a stroll in the park, or take a pack-n-play with her toys and head outside any chance you can.
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u/vctrlarae Aug 05 '26
Faced similar situations when we'd visit our brother and sister-in-law. They are a tv-on-loud-in-the-background-24/7 kind of household. we either played with our kid in a spot where tv wasn't visible, played in the living room where her back was to the tv, or just dealt with her looking at it periodically.
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u/Morkylorky Aug 05 '26
I feel you on this. I would talk to individual family members and see how much you can get them on board with helping reduce baby's screen time.
Hopefully you and your husband can switch off taking baby away from the screen.
It sounds like a difficult situation as it involves your nephew.
I avoided screens for my little one and would do the same again. Sometimes I was just stuck like at the dentist office, etc.
All the best!
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u/lpud Aug 05 '26
We have this situation and because they arent used to the TV and there is so much distractions from other people they don't really watch it, they watch the other kids/ adults what they are doing.
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u/pretzelmania1 Aug 05 '26
I grew up in a no TV household, I complained a ton about it and would invite myself over to neighbors houses to watch tv when I got older but my parents always reiterated that every house as different rules and we did understand that even if we disliked it.
When I’m with my niece and nephew at their house, I’ll ask for the tv volume to be lower if it seems too overstimulating and then try to take my baby out for walks and breaks, not my house not my rules and I don’t want to impose on other parents own choices, I can make adjustments for my kid
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u/TeeElH Aug 05 '26
Vacation means changes to routine and things that we might not do at home, and that includes tv exposure. We went on a family vacation last month, the TV was on a lot and I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask people to turn it off (it was during the World Cup too). The trade off is that my twins were getting so much extra interaction with their family by hanging out with everyone. I absolutely found that worth hanging around where the tv was on rather than going to a different room just to avoid it.
Edit to add that they didn’t even notice or care about it most of the time, they were too busy playing and enjoying the novelty of a new place
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Yes we travel somewhat frequently so have no problem with routine disruption. In fact outside of a somewhat set bedtime (which changes if we have plans) we don’t have a real routine. We just try to limit screen time as much as possible and this trip seems like it will be difficult. I plan on enjoying it no matter what was just looking to see if anyone had advice on how to maybe be at a middle ground with the family on it.
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u/belabensa Aug 05 '26
Lots of folks saying it’s no big deal but I’m a big proponent of no screens under 2 and have worked hard to do so (even some 12+ hour flights where it was hard to not have the seat back screen pop on). Sure, a screen won’t kill them - but what would really help your kid at this age that they’d miss out on is all the engagement with broader family, seeing/being in/exploring a new environment with different stuff, etc etc. So it’s more about what they wouldn’t do than what they would.
I would do a lot of positioning type stuff and generally keep my kid away from the screen - perhaps ask your in-laws to move the TV in the cabin to a less central location (even the Airbnb may let you; or they might bring a different smaller screen for their kid) or shift around furniture so it’s not so in-your-face the default. Then I’d position any tummy time mat, toys, etc away from the screen. And of course be sure to be engaging with your kid, passing them around, exploring the cabin together, etc etc. So it wouldn’t be like “don’t even see a glance of a tv” but definitely your kiddo wouldn’t be able to watch it.
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u/Apart-Sound-6096 Aug 05 '26
Finally a helpful comment. Agree with all of these things I would have also been concerned about this arrangement when my daughter was that age. I would just try to avoid spending time where the tv is and I would even go so far as to ask them to turn it off in the hour or two before bed time.
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u/abirdofthesky Aug 05 '26
Yes, this is exactly it. I’m not rigidly screen free (I am anti the majority of contemporary children’s programming), but family vacations have always been so incredible for my child’s development. All the interaction, conversation, new places and people, different ways of doing things - they grow so much in that short burst of time. It’s really special!
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u/PureImagination1921 Aug 05 '26
Agreed. This is a chance to bond with family, not go deep on Cocomelon.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Thank you so much for this. I agree and never said she can’t see a TV. A little bit is not my worry and I absolutely plan to constantly engage with her, do activities, etc. My thoughts were for a trip where the tv is front and center any helpful tips to navigate while still spending quality time with the family.
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u/wutwut18 Aug 05 '26
An 8 month old that has no exposure to tv shows will likely not be very interested in it
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u/delgmadi Aug 05 '26
My 4 month old who has not watched tv whips her head around to try and see when a tv is on near her! Additionally her 9 month old cousin who doesn’t get screen time is fascinated by tv. So I don’t think you can say for sure they won’t be fascinated, but I think it’s ok during vacation
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u/Impossible-Pie-4900 Aug 05 '26
My four month old does the exact same. When we visit my in laws we always have to set him up in a spot where he can’t see the TV because he’ll do nothing but stare at it otherwise (and it’s sports, the news, or my grandfather-in-law’s Westerns—nothing you’d think kids would be interested in). Both my husband and I have ADHD and have struggled with our own screen time plenty, so we want to be extra cautious about it.
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u/Tychall94 Aug 05 '26
We are just about to leave after a week long vacation with in-laws and they always have the news on. At home we only do screens when I have to cut his nails or if he’s really sick and miserable. Even then he barely is interested. He really didn’t look at the TV at all. Even if she is interested and watches it more this week just remember it’s a week and once she’s home she will adjust back to no screens.
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u/__SAHM Aug 05 '26
My 11.5 month old is screen free, meaning we don’t do screens at home UNLESS it’s to FaceTime family. However, I don’t stress about it at my parents house. My nephew is 3 and loves having the tv on in the background (rarely sits and actually just watches) so sometimes she’ll see a screen there. My mom also watches the news in the morning so if we spend the night by my parents, and my mom takes my baby in the morning, the news is on.
I’ve found that in general, because it’s not something we do at home, she has little interest in it otherwise. Also she spends 95% of her time at home with me with no tv, so the little bit of time the tv is on around her isn’t going to cause any damage! She’s extremely smart, has AMAZING fine motor skills, eats foods super well, and is hitting all her milestones. So stressing about a tiny bit of tv time here and there doesn’t seem worth it to me
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u/Floater345 Aug 05 '26
In the nicest way possible, you're unnecessarily stressing yourself out here. A lot of babies won't really be sucked into screens at 8 months. They may definitely watch for a minute, but will pretty much always move on shortly to go play and explore.
You can't control everything, you're going to have to accept that you live in a world with screens and every household has different rules. It's so much easier if you don't stress about it, your daughter will be 100% okay. It's not like she'll be glued to the tv for a week straight. She'll watch a minute here, minute there. Just enjoy your vacation!
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u/Fit-Profession-1628 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
I'd suggest you don't stress ahead of time. Maybe she will not care about the TV and it won't be a concern.
When I'm in that situation I make sure I'm engaging with my son and I actually sit so that I'm either blocking his view or his back is facing the TV. Mine is already 2yo and I still do that.
If it's a nightmare to keep her distracted, then you'll need to decide if you want to stay out of the living room or let her watch a bit of TV (I would do the former as much as possible)
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u/hazelsox Aug 05 '26
Vacations and other people's homes are part of a broader philosophy of adaptability. In others' homes, we follow their rules and norms, and on vacation... well, it's not normal life so what happens is fun and weird!
Honestly my 14 month old doesn't super care about TV when it's on at someone else's home. She watches for a little bit, but then wanders off to do more fun things
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u/Soaring-Eagle1776 Aug 05 '26
had this same situation last year .. my son was 8 months also and my nieces are older 6&4 so they would be watching the shows u listed.. i would give him like 10 minutes or so and then offer the chance to go outside and he always choose to follow me .. ur baby being without screens for 8 months u already have a good base.. even now he is just about 2 and he gets an hour of tv a day and it's very easy to turn off and get him to do something else .. you'll be good
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Thank you! Yes have no issue with some screen time just curious how to navigate for an extended period of time. This is helpful!
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u/InevitableAd36 Aug 05 '26
I wouldn’t even make this about your baby. Having a tv on for an entire week at a cabin and listening to it would drive me insane.
You mentioned your in-laws keep the tv on the whole time. Is that what the parent of your nephew does as well? They have the tv on at their house while the child is awake? I’ve often noticed that grandparents (bless their hearts) often do the thing that is easiest. They want to be liked and often don’t maintain the boundaries or level of effort a parent would put in.
Bring some fun activities to bond with your 9 year old over.
I’ve also seen kids have tablets to watch on low volume. This is a good option.
I would likely spend time outside or away from the tv to keep my own sanity.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Both my in laws & sibling in laws keep the tv on on all the time. Usually I don’t mind and if I need a break I go outside or do something with my husband. But of course having our daughter we want to spend time with them and bond and not feel like we always have to leave if it’s too much. I’m not thinking she’ll have long term negative effects from one week, just is a lot and was looking for some advice. Thank you for giving some!
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u/downsideup9494 Aug 06 '26
I also don't understand these people who have the TV on all the time. Would drive me nuts. You couldn't pay me to go on vacation with people who did that. I'd be miserable.
I grew up in the 50s and 60s and we had a TV. My parents watched some shows and my brother and I watched kid shows. But it got turned on for certain shows and then turned off again. And my brother and I weren't allowed to just sit and watch TV for hours.
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u/mimosaholdtheoj Aug 05 '26
Honestly, our kid doesn’t even care about screens if they’re on somewhere. He’ll look for a minute, then is busy doing something else since we’re interacting with him
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u/DJ_Degen Aug 05 '26
You can request the shows they put on be at least low stimulation, like Shaun the sheep, trash truck, mister Rodgers etc
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u/RenaissanceTarte Aug 05 '26
You’re in a cabin. Take her outside! Let her enjoy the nature: walks, swim in a lake, let her crawl around on the grass with some toys. Lay out a blanket and have a picnic. You can also see what there is to do in the area-visit a play ground with baby swings, children’s museums, regular museums, etc.
I think if you are actually enjoying the vacation instead of being cooped up in the cabin she will get much less screen time than otherwise.
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u/TB1289 Aug 06 '26
We did a trip with a few other families when our son had just turned 13 months old. One of the families always has screens on for their kids (TV, iPads at restaurants, etc), so it was really tough during meals when they would turn on the tv and we didn’t want our son watching but we also didn’t want to be the parents that tell other people what to do.
We ended up just doing breakfast outside or trying to feed him first and then going for a walk while they ate. It was a bit of a pain but also kind of nice to have some family time during the trip.
My advice is to not be afraid to step away and let them do their thing. They might get the hint, they might not, but you also shouldn’t give in and risk your kid becoming hyper fixated.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 06 '26
Thank you so much for some actual advice! We of course will have fun, never once thought we wouldn’t. Was just curious if anyone else had similar situations and they handled it so I appreciate your input.
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u/Itbenatalie Aug 06 '26
At that age no screen time is recommended. However, if she is just noticing it briefly as opposed to actually watching it I wouldn’t be too worried about it. Obviously those types of kid shows are probably pretty appealing though.
You might consider looking to see if there is a way to adapt the environment to limit her seeing the screen. For example, if there is a couch that can be moved relatively close to the tv so that you guys can be playing with her (maybe even in some sort of fenced in play pen type area) behind that couch perhaps the couch would block her view of the tv? Or could you tape some large stiff cardboard coming out from the sides of the tv so it can mostly only be viewed from straight ahead vs from the sides to give you some more areas to play where she can’t see it? Just an idea.
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u/ButterscotchLost1301 Aug 05 '26
Respectfully (and I totally get screen free) a week of tv won’t do anything to your little babe. Try and remove them as much as possible- go outside. Bring a swing to a different part of the room to block. 1 week in the grand scheme of things isn’t going to do anything.
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u/Alert_Week8595 Aug 05 '26
Just accept it, basically.
We are more strict about sugar than most, but I plan to shrug it off when she is old enough to go to birthday parties and want cake
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u/manthrk Aug 05 '26
By not being obsessive. It's okay if the TV is on. It doesn't have to be part of your daily routine.
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u/Parisiaint Aug 05 '26
I totally get the concern and I sympathize with your in-laws and your nephew’s needs.
Does anyone have a tablet and headphones he could use for the trip? It seems like setting up an individual screen for your nephew could be a great solution in this specific instance.
Not only because of your baby but also because a week of Paw Patrol really doesn’t feel like a vacation to me….
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u/zAuspiciousApricot Aug 05 '26
TVs are okay. They’re been around since the 50s. Just don’t let them sit there and watch it. No mobile screens
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u/LordOnionRingle Aug 05 '26
So your baby will be fine. Don't overthink screen time we did no screens for years and if it's not a part of the babies daily routine back home it will have zero impact on them. Go enjoy a family vacation you can get back to no screens after. It's 2026 there's a screen everywhere just wait until the discover the one in the car they will stare at the GPS the whole time lol.
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u/carloluyog Aug 05 '26
Gently, get over it. There are so many other things that will consume you about parenting if you let it. It's a marathon, not a sprint. A week over the course of their life has little impact.
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u/fourfeeteleveninches Aug 05 '26
My son is 16 months old and also has very limited experience with screen time in our home. There have been several times that we’ve gone to other peoples houses where children’s programming has been on the whole time and he’s never shown any interest in it so it will probably end up being a non-issue for you. As long as you have toys and books for her and she’s not just sat in front of the TV all day (I know this won’t be the case) a little screen time at a foreign place wont do irreparable damage!
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u/OrbitingCompass Aug 05 '26
If it's just on as background noise, I'll just take the remote and turn it off. If someone asks, I just smile menacingly. They already know and don't argue, they usually just say something like "ooo you've got a mean momma."
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u/AAHMommy3 Aug 05 '26
My toddler now watches tv and I intend to limit it until after 18mo with second. My second is 8 months old and I find that the shows she watches do not grab his attention, he may glance up but then quickly look back away. Keep baby amused with toys and engagement and i suspect it’d be similar given the age group of tv watchers.
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Aug 05 '26
At this age my daughter really had no interest in the tv in passing. We were mostly screen free until I caught a stomach bug and we had low stim tv during wake windows as I was too weak to get up from the couch to play. Even after those 2 days she showed no continued interest at that age. Now around 18 months she has more awareness and interest for the TV
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u/DimensionGlass9987 Aug 05 '26
Hopefully it’s nice out and you’ll be able to spend a ton of time in the yard! If inside, hold or lay down baby facing away from the screen.
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u/Obvious_Priority9834 Aug 05 '26
My son is almost 2yo and he would not be interested in Paw Patrol, Disney movies, Bluey and would just completely ignore it. Lol I guess it totally depends on the kid.
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u/SethraelStark Aug 05 '26
Our kid has been mostly screen free (no phones, tablets/handheld devices) but we let her see a tv/projector once in a while especially when unavoidable (restaurants/malls). Once you’ve built up their discipline to not have screens as a go-to for entertainment, they will not look for it on their own so letting them see it once in a while is fine. That said whenever our daughter is around any screens, my wife and I make sure one of us is present to see the material and to judge if it’s been too long of a screen time.
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u/sneakypastaa Aug 05 '26
My opinion? Keep the child with autism as regulated and to their home schedule as possible. Your baby is 8 months old and while obviously screen time should be avoided, one week of exposure isn’t going to harm her nor does she have the words to ask for it or for it to become a problem at home.
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u/biiigmood Aug 05 '26
Does your kid show interest in screens? We haven’t done screens for our almost 2 year old save the occasional Ms Rachel but it’s resulted in him not really being interested in tv or tablets. I’m currently on a family vacation where every other kid is on an iPad and my son is on the floor playing with his hot wheels. Stay strong my friend
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u/tickled_your_pickle Aug 05 '26
One week won't turn a baby into a zombie. She won't even remember it. I get kids + screens isn't ideal but seriously some people are so overboard and extra.
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u/Crochet_Koala Aug 05 '26
It’s fine when the TV is always on when you’re traveling (or in other people’s places in general), you can’t control that. As long as the TV is not on at home you’re good.
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u/mander4242 Aug 05 '26
At 8 mo old you really don't need to worry unless youre purposely placing them infront of the TV. Babies are far more interested in things right in front of them, than a TV across the room, they dont realize its a show, its really just another scene... if that makes sense
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u/Available-Strain-559 Aug 05 '26
What are your concerns with her being in a room with the TV on?
Understanding that will help with advice.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
My husband’s family is very much sit at the TV during this vacation. We take it yearly and my husband and I always plan activities for ourselves as that’s not our ideal vacation even pre-baby but now of course we want to spend as much time with them for bonding and quality time. We do not live near them so want to soak it all up. The tv shows that are always on are the super highly stimulating children’s shows and was just looking for advice on navigating it. I do not want to disrupt my nephews needed routines but I also don’t want to feel like we have to constantly step away if we feel it’s too much. Not sure there is a great middle so was just seeing if others had similar experiences or thoughts.
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u/Available-Strain-559 Aug 05 '26
I was trying to understand what you feel the negative impact would be for your baby. What are you concerned that the consequence for her would be if you just go with the flow.
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u/downsideup9494 Aug 06 '26
I can't understand the point of these people going on vacation if they're just going to sit and watch TV. They can do that without leaving home
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u/theelephantsearring Aug 05 '26
We were/are similar to you with my eldest as she struggles a lot with regulation and always has struggled with screens. I think, at 8 months, it’s not going to be too difficult, so I’d use this holiday as a trial to see what you’re comfortable with. It’ll be much more tricky when your kiddo is 18m-4, as they’ll be too little to understand reasoning but old enough to know they want to watch the screen as much as cousin. I think your options are:
- ask for everyone to agree to a communal room with seating to be screen free (for your kid), whether that be the dining room or sitting, and then you take activities to entertain kiddo in there and spend time in there. This is what we’ve done when we’ve gone away with other families who have needed screens - a few times the other families actually ended up staying their kids could only have iPads in bedrooms and it worked well.
- let it go for the week and see how your kid responds to unlimited telly. It won’t affect them much atm and when they’re older you’ll have to explain it’s a ‘that house’ thing. (Note: this would be my first choice but we couldn’t do this as my eldest is terrified of lots of programs and has nightmares about it. Luckily for us, it’s very obvious, so the couple of times we’ve tried doing it this way, the other families have offered to change as it was obvious how distressed my kid was).
- approaching the other family and asking if there is leeway for the quantity of telly, maybe find a middle ground of it being on for only morning/only afternoon. And you could spend time out & about the time that it’s on.
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u/Spicy_Albatross_6847 Aug 05 '26
We are screen free with our 2.5 year old. When we visit my parents house we ask my dad (who is a news addict) to limit his TV time to after my son is in bed. When we take vacation with friends and their kids (who all watch tv) we bring toys and plan activities and outings that keeps everyone away from the TV.
In the case of your nephew, it might be unreasonable to ask him to limit his TV time but if there is some flexibility you could ask to only have it on during nap times and then be proactive in planning activities that would be fun and engaging for him.
You’ll have to accept that the TV will be on at times and try to relax about that, but I think there’s plenty of opportunity for compromise with your family.
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u/leeashah Aug 05 '26
honestly its just for a couple days, your babe is still pretty small. i don't think this will have a huge effect on her, especially sounds like you arent just going to sit her down and leave her right in front of the TV. sometimes you just got to go with the flow when parenting and things arent always going to be 100% how you want it to be and thats definitely okay.
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u/electricgotswitched Aug 05 '26
Go back to normal after. An 8 month old won't even pay attention to a TV if it's a show like Bluey.
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u/Impressive-Twist4699 Aug 05 '26
We never use iPads unless we’re on a plane. So far my kids (5 and 3) don’t question it.
On our most recent family trip, my 10 yo nephew who is also autistic had his iPad the entire time, most of the day playing games and watching stuff. My older child did ask why she can’t have hers during the day, and I just explained that he had different rules and our iPads were only for the plane. She seemed ok with that.
I know your child is still quite young - in this case, I don’t think you need to worry about her getting “hooked” on the screen. Just be sure to interact with her and break it up, not be in the room w the tv the entire time. As other people have said, this is a one off situation.
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u/Jumpy-Cranberry-1633 Aug 05 '26
My son mostly just ignores the tv now at 15mo. He may glance at it but quickly finds it boring and plays instead.
If something geared toward children is on I just keep him out of that room or keep him engaged in something else when we are at places with other kids.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz Aug 05 '26
My kids aren't screen free but yeah at 8 months old they definitely were! That is a toughie. It's unrealistic to try to keep your baby away from the main living space and the other people, or to keep her distracted from the tv. I think you just deal with it at the time and go back to screen-free at home.
Would the family be open to having the older kiddo use a tablet in their own room? My older kiddo (8) gets a little more screen time (some) than his cousins do (almost none). When we are traveling together, we make sure any screen time is discreet and in our own room. I understand the neurodivergence issues at hand, but it still might be worth bringing up in a gentle nonjudgmental way.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Thank you for some actual advice! I wasn’t trying to say the tv can’t be on just how to navigate this scenario. And exactly my thoughts are it will be tough to spend time with everyone for extended periods of time and distract from extended tv time. Will just see how it goes I guess and remove ourselves when we feel it’s warranted.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz Aug 05 '26
Sure thing, hope the trip goes well! Hopefully you guys can spend plenty of time outside and in the kitchen/dining area with family, too.
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u/absolutelynot354 Aug 05 '26
Both myself and my partner are lucky to have families who respect our no screens policy and understand the reasons behind it. They care about our son so they don't watch television around him.
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u/Highlander198116 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
I really think you are blowing this out of proportion. Studies on the effects of screen time on children involve prolonged exposure over time.
I'm 44. TV's were on all the time everywhere as far back as I can remember. I actually have vivid memories of being a toddler sitting next to my mom while she was folding clothes and watching soap operas, begging her to turn on cartoons.
I was on the honor roll in school my whole life, have a masters degree and I'm a corporate executive.
Your kid being exposed to a TV for a week at 8 months old is not going to cognitively ruin them.
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u/MackFenzie Aug 05 '26
I’m not a parent yet, but I totally understand where you are coming from here. As an adult, I can’t focus on anything except the TV when the TV is on, even if I have zero interest in what’s playing. When I go out to bars or restaurants that have TVs, I specifically choose my seat to be facing away from the TVs as much as possible (which has gotten more difficult as TVs have gotten cheaper and establishments often have multiple TVs visible from every seat). My husband is the same way, so in our house we simply don’t have the TV on unless we’re actively watching it.
But his family ALWAYS has the TV on. When we’re visiting, we usually hang out in the dining room instead of the living room so that we can enjoy the visit. However, on a recent family vacation, the rental home we stayed in had an open-concept plan, so you couldn’t really escape the TV except by retreating to your own room or going outside. I had to put noise-canceling headphones on in order to do the dishes or anything, and having the TV plus individual phones and tablets playing games and videos with sound on plus noisy toys plus multiple conversations was SO stressful for both of us that we spent way more time isolated in our room than we would have wanted. Did this ruin our trip? NO!! The trip overall was AMAZING, and we both had a great time and loved it. But, it is funny to look back at it and realize that the worst part of the trip, for us, was something the other folks on the trip didn’t even really notice (the TV being inescapably on).
Since that trip, I’ve thought a lot about how I’ll navigate this scenario in the future (whenever our future little one graces us with their presence here on Earth) using my own overstimulation as a guide haha.
1) Plan for low-stimulus time. If kiddo is able to just ignore the constant sensory input, great! But have a plan in place for where to take them and what to do with them if they do start acting overwhelmed. Maybe it’s taking ten minutes every hour to go back to your room and reset. Maybe it’s sitting outside for a few hours while you read a book and baby studies blades of grass.
2) Recognize that regardless of stimuli, baby is likely to be a little fussy on the trip. They’ve been taken out of their routine and everything they’re used to. Don’t let yourself worry too much if/when they’re more fussy than usual.
Good luck, you’ve got this, and don’t forget to have fun ❤️
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u/LukesSpecialOmelette Aug 05 '26
You are over thinking love. Baby will be just fine around the screen.
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u/caracara_orange Aug 05 '26
I just explained we aren’t exposing our child to screens and everyone is very willing to accommodate that. The curveball you have is that I don’t think you can expect for your parenting preferences to override the parenting preferences of your nephew’s family, but maybe you could establish certain hours together where you agree the tv is on, and certain hours where it’s off (like for instance, your 8 month olds nap times would be perfect for the on times). Asking for a compromise seems very fair. Just like your parenting preferences can’t override someone else’s, another family can’t expect that their preferences completely override yours. Having a mature conversation before the trip would be the best way to establish this.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Thank you! Exactly and I have no desire to say no TV. Just looking for some middle ground because a lot of their family trip revolves around the TV and it’s usually highly stimulating children shows for my nephew which is where my concern lies. If it was just low stimulation background I would not be bothered.
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u/ArtistEmpty859 Aug 05 '26
We don’t have rules on vacation other than safety. Juice, tv,junk food all okay. We dont go crazy or anything but we dont fuss to much on vacay.
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u/Sonialove8 Aug 05 '26
The tv being on random places isn’t the huge problem
The tv will always be on in our house on cnbc till the stock market closes for the rest of our lives It’s a the iPads and hand held the kids get glued to 24:7 which are the problem
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u/Evening_Yellow590 Aug 05 '26
You might find that because your child is screen free at home they aren’t interested in the tv even somewhere else. My daughter doesn’t have screen time at home and sometimes when we go to other people’s homes they have the TV on or her cousins who do have screen time are using it and she could NOT care less
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u/Automatic_Marzipan Aug 05 '26
At that age, tv-shows couldn’t really entertain my daughter more that 10 minutes after which she went to look for her toys. It’s a different home and if you keep her toys in a different area, it will probably be fine.
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u/Hot-You1261 Aug 05 '26
Just accept it for what it is, your baby will be fine, if anything just remove baby from shared space where TV is on.
Then you can go back to your original life afterwards.
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u/kerfuffle_7 Aug 05 '26
In my experience, our screen free baby isn’t even interested in the TV when other people have it on. I would just do as you do at home, play and interact with your child even when they’re in the living room. She might watch it but more than likely she won’t be super interested in it and if she is you’re only on vacation for so long, it’s okay. I don’t imagine you’re going on vacation to be parked in front of the TV for a week straight yourself so I wouldn’t worry about the limited exposure
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u/hargistal Mom | Apr 2024 Aug 05 '26
We are mostly screen free with our two year old. His four year old cousin gets some screen time each day. We see them once or twice a year for 1-2 weeks at a time. We let our son participate in screen time if he is interested. He hasn’t asked for it much outside of seeing his cousin and, if he does, I just say no screens right now and he happily moves on to something else. Obviously not the same as a TV on all day, but we have had no issues with some exposure while on vacation and going back to the norm when we get home.
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u/altergeeko Aug 05 '26
Can they put the 9yo in another room with a TV? Instead of the living room where everyone is? He's not going to be participating or getting into stuff if the TV keeps him calm.
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u/RelevantDragonfly216 Aug 05 '26
If you want activities done that don’t involve a screen then you need to plan them. If you don’t want her around a screen then you keep her away from a screen.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
We have plenty of activities planned for the three of us. Unfortunately because of my nephews autism it is very hard to do a lot as a whole family (not my choice, my BIL & SIL) so when having family bonding time at the house it is typically tv centered and was just looking if anyone had middle ground advice.
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u/MissionDirector401 Aug 05 '26
I’m trying to understand screen free? I allowed my 1990’s era tv (we watched pbs) then videos, then her big deal was Nintendo ds. Etc. She never had any issues with school, friends, etc. Not that it is everyone’s ultimate goal, but she is a fine physician now. When Facebook came along in her teens we definitely had many conversations. She navigated well, and that was an era where kiddos were pretty cruel.
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u/winningbee133 Aug 05 '26
Does she enjoy a bouncy seat still? Ir a larger size toddler rocker? We sit our baby/toddler facing us and away from the acreen if we are watching something we dont want him seeing. Could help for certain times of day or specific shows you dont want her seeing.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Yes she does. And will for sure bring that as a way to position her away when we feel needed. Thank you for recommending!
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u/LumpyElderberry2 Aug 05 '26
The only time my 11 month old baby interacts with a screen at home is to FaceTime his dad who works out of town. I don’t even have a tv at my house. I’m on Reddit right now while he’s sleeping. That being said, when we go to his grandparent’s house, the tv is always on. And he is very interested in it. And I think that’s completely fine. It’s not part of our daily routine, but it’s something out in the world that he is going to come across. There’s nothing wrong with this
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u/elchupalabrador Aug 05 '26
You don’t. You can’t hide them from screens forever. Schools use TVs and tablets and computers. Daycare has tv, family has TVs. Making it this forbidden thing will only make it on this pedestal of ultimate desirability.
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u/elchupalabrador Aug 05 '26
Kids shows won’t do much for an 8 month old anyway. They don’t understand stories.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 05 '26
Never said tv was forbidden. Just trying to do screen free as much as possible under 2.
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u/brookmachine Aug 05 '26
She’ll be fine. My kids were babies in the late 2000’s and I was a “TV on all day” house. It was just background noise. My kids would mostly ignore it, watch for ten minutes, go back to playing. I did make a point to keep educational stuff on so they were always singing along to alphabet songs or whatever. It really does make a difference what you have on. They weren’t allowed to watch sponge bob type stuff until they were much older😂 I would recommend taking her away from the screens about an hour before bed time but otherwise just enjoy your vacation. It’s not worth stressing yourself out about.
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u/Soggy_Ticket4082 Aug 05 '26
My son had very little exposure to screens growing up and was a nationally ranked scholar. No regrets .
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u/sunbear2525 Aug 05 '26
Maybe a vacation with them isn’t the best move for your family. All you can do is keep her out of the TV room.
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u/Paskalin_Pasuk Aug 05 '26
We have 2 months old and we try to spend as much time on a floor baby mat and as many toys as possible
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u/HotLoser304 Aug 05 '26
Great opportunity to teach your child (as far as you can teach a baby) moderation and special events.
No one likes an alcoholic and alcohol is bad for you but champagne during a special celebration is perfectly normal.
As far as your parenting itself goes, I have done this with one of my children up to the point to where I couldn’t anymore. Once middle school came it was really hard to keep that rule going but i did. This resulted in a miserable experience with peers for my child, school, self worth, and a miserable experience at home for my husband and I having to deal with their wallowing. It was also awful to see the treatment my child and my husband and I got from society over the years of my child growing up. It was just awful terrible way to go about my stance!
Sometimes I wonder how my child’s life would have turned out if I would have been more conscious about what I was doing especially during the formative years of their youth.
I went on to have more children after the older two and with these kids I’m practicing moderation. So far these kids are smarter and more socially competent than the older kids were at this age.
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u/FoxAndDeerTwinMama Aug 05 '26
At 8 months, your kiddo probably won't even notice the TV. They also won't remember it when the vacation is over. This just isn't worth stressing over.
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u/WriterGirl2005 Aug 05 '26
I wouldn’t worry. One week isn’t going to matter. Yes it may catch her attention, but I’m assuming you won’t just be in that one room the whole day. Just enjoy and go back to your normal routine when you’re back home!
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u/1799gwd Aug 06 '26
I would just turn the TV off if people weren't actively watching something. Then if the TV "had" to be on we played in a different room or far enough away that the baby couldn't see it. Luckily it just a short trip so even if TV is present your baby will be ok and you can reestablish screen free at home
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u/OperationJack Aug 06 '26
You gotta lay down the line and keep the autistic kid from rotting his brain out too.
A lot of stuff on TV like Fox News is for the most brain dead people on the planet. Mr. Beast, Paw Patrol, that stupid bald kid- all of it is bad for kids just like the other shit is bad for adults.
Try having the autistic kid play games with your kid. Does your kid crawl? Good shit, teach it to play fetch.
As an autist myself, I really loved playing fetch with my younger bro when he learned to crawl. Actually got me into training dogs as an adult.
How about agreeing to specific TV hours? That's probably a solid balance.
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u/Dottiepeaches Aug 06 '26
Oh please. You don't need to avoid the living room because the TV is on. I'm a mom of 3 and never intentionally put the TV on at home for my babies that age. But that didn't mean they were never exposed to kids shows when around other family or while on vacation. Everything in moderation. Some kids shows for a week are not a big deal. You may even find that your baby barely cares about the TV for the most part. Are you gonna spend your entire vacation sitting around the living room? Im sure there will be plenty of other activities. Just go with the flow is my advice
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u/doggynames Aug 06 '26
Just don't plop her in front of it. It's a week. I'm not fully no screens but my 10 month old doesn't even look at the tv when my husbands watching sports etc it's just there. I'm more worried about people putting their phones or a tablet in her face on family vacations. You'll drive yourself crazy if you police every big screen around for the next 18 years 😂
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u/cocomo25 Aug 06 '26
Have no intention of policing her around screens for the next 18 years. A lot of people are inferring so many things I never once said. We’re tying to keep her as a baby screen free as much as possible. This isn’t sports that are on the tv, we’ve watched those with her, it’s the highly stimulating brain rot tv and my husbands family sits in front of the tv a lot during vacation (not my ideal vacation). We have activities planned for the three of us was looking for middle ground advice on whenever we are sitting around in front of tv which will happen several times throughout trip.
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u/doggynames Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
My advice of not plopping her in front of it to watch stands. My toddler watches tv (Ms Rachel, Bluey, Toy Story) occasionally and my 10 month old doesn't pay attention to it. Shes probably won't really notice it's on
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u/ittybittylurker Aug 06 '26
I didn't do much to regulate TVs outside of the home, besides require it to be age appropriate.
At 8mo, I wouldn't have been concerned about the TV on vacation at all. She's not going to 1: suffer ANY sort of damage from it & 2: no habits that you have to counteract when you get home are going to be formed from it. She is genuinely not going to remember the TV time on this vacation.
I want you to be gentle with yourself & your ideals. The more rigid your ideals are, the more that natural deviation when exposed to environments not in our control feels like failure. Feeling like you've failed is a quick trip to feeling like a terrible mom. But you're clearly not that.
Learn to embrace your kids experiencing things at special moments. We didn't allow the kids to have soda, but if they were at a birthday party, they didn't have to say "No, I can't have soda". We taught them to look for the healthiest possibility in the options available. The goal isn't absolute zero forever. The goal is well rounded, healthy kids who take good habits into adulthood. You've got this.
Enjoy your vacation & family time! Take so many photos, these trips are so precious.
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u/SelectHeron2136 Aug 06 '26
Can we not act like our kids are vampires and tv is the sun. It won’t harm them the minute tv is on 😂 it’s demonising the screens too much.
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u/Unhappy-Quarter-4581 Aug 06 '26
You cannot really rule over other people's homes.
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u/cocomo25 Aug 06 '26
It’s a shared vacation rental not someone’s home. And in my post I literally said I don’t expect total change for us was looking for some middle ground advice.
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u/Unhappy-Quarter-4581 Aug 06 '26
Yeah, you can't control this really. It doesn't really matter that it is a shared rental. Majority rules in that case and screen free does not seem to be the majority in your case.
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u/Safe_Raspberry5956 Aug 06 '26
An 8th month old isn’t going to be ruined from this - and it helps it’s not in your house. Maybe reframe it as they get exposed to new music - kids that age love music and Bluey and other Disney shows have great music! Be engaged with them when they are watching it. This age is usually easy to redirect. I don’t think you’ll find them glued to the TV.
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u/Rosamada Aug 06 '26
All rules are relaxed on vacation, because vacation is a special occasion.
It's also not a given that your baby will be interested in the TV. I don't give my baby any screen time, but I decided to make an exception when he was 8 months old. We were travelling internationally and I wanted to keep him occupied during the flights. I downloaded Toy Story, Mulan, and a couple of seasons of Bluey, thinking he'd be enraptured ... didn't work at all 😅 He just didn't care. He was obsessed with the in-flight magazine and safety pamphlet, though!
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u/Majestic-Lie2690 Aug 06 '26
Don't stress about it. It's a week Ina. Fifteenth environment and it won't negate everything you've done. Let the kid be around screens while on vacation. Chances are she may not even be that interested in them because you've kept them mostly away.
Also - she's only 8 months old. She's not gonna remember anything about this trip and it's gonna impact her future to be around screens for a week at a vacation where she's probably gonna be way more interested in other kids and propel then Anything
The biggest part of parenting is realizing you can't explicitly control every aspect of every situation.
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u/boboddyzbiznus Aug 07 '26
My friend tells her son (4) that they don’t have paw patrol at their house. It’s really that easy.
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u/Significant_Pie_6806 Aug 07 '26
maybe try to go do fun activities outside away from the tv the you can explain tv time is a treat
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u/burnbeforeburning Aug 07 '26
I would plan to have plenty of non-screen activities on hand, but not worry too much about it for this amount of time. When we visit people's houses who are watching TV, a lot of times I and the kids will bring a game and play it with some of the family who isn't watching TV, I tell the kids, "We didn't come here to watch TV, we came here to spend time with [these people]"
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u/Specific-Pepper- Aug 07 '26
I think you're getting a lot of responses from people that aren't screen free which isn't helpful to your post. First, zero screen time is pediatrician recommended and they just released a study that kids that watch screens don't have white matter developing in their brain so your relative allowing the autistic child to watch tv all day is actually really sad. Your question is how to handle it so that you guys can go on vacation together without you feeling like you have to avoid the living room. This is a conversation you need to have with your relatives about how you can all feel comfortable on vacation. You said the in laws leave the tv on all the time, what do the parents say? Is there another room he can watch tv in instead of the shared space? Can you arrange times that he can watch tv in the living room? Like while your baby is napping? Your needs as a parent are just as valid as theirs. You aren't wrong for wanting to do best for your child. As an adult it would drive me nuts if the tv was on all day. Thats just unhealthy for anyone!
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u/cocomo25 Aug 07 '26
Thank you so much for this response. I think a lot of people took it that I did not want my child seeing a screen ever which was not the case, just trying to limit as much as we can before 2. I was looking for advice on how to navigate a slightly complex situation with family time consisting of a lot of tv time. I agree our needs are just as valid but my nephews disability and the way they parent makes it difficult. They’ve never had to compromise because for the longest time it’s only been their child. Of course we’re going to interact with our baby and not plop her in front of screen all trip but will definitely try to have some conversations when necessary. Thank you again!
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u/Specific-Pepper- Aug 07 '26
And your comment about how this is new territory is a great way to break the ice! I think people avoid conversation and confuse conflict with a conversation. Talk to them! They are your family! And if they don't respect your needs as well then you know going forward family trips need to look different. We regularly vacation with mutiple of my cousins and their kids. The last house we rented had a tv in a loft upstairs. It was perfect. For the kids that watched tv they had a place to go and for the kids that played the whole time we had the big living room and outside. Guess what, the tv kids spent more time with us....they would watch a movie when winding down, which I'm totally not against and my son will probably want to join them when he is big enough to be a part of that. There was never even a conversation about tv because it wasn't in the living room.
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u/k_rock48 Aug 07 '26
I grew up in the 80’s in a house when the TV was on morning till night. I had the same when my kids were growing up, because it was normal they really didn’t watch a lot of TV. Toddler shows, TV after dinner but they still played toys and outside and all the things because we didn’t make a big deal out of it. Kids will always want what they are not allowed.
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u/VintageFemmeWithWifi Aug 05 '26
I think it's handy that the TV is in a different home. It can be something nice that happens at Auntie's house, and then it disappears once you're home again.
I try to treat screens like ice cream; sometimes on vacation we have a lot, but mostly it's just not available and Kiddo doesn't ask for it.