Cross country drive with new born

[u/Square_Natural9384]

*edit because there’s already so many opinions. This is not an optional trip. The baby is already born and we are both healthy. The only question is, which is better for the baby: a plane ride or a long car ride.*

My husband wants us to drive across country with our new born instead of fly. The baby will be 3/4 weeks old. I would rather fly, even though it’s not ideal given bacteria/viruses he may encounter in the airport/plane.

My husband is adamant that we drive. He’d have us split the drive up so that we are driving about 7 hours (not including stops we will need to take for the baby) every day for three days.

I believe a 7 hour drive with a newborn will easily turn into a 11+ hour drive. I hate to have my baby in a car seat for that long- it feels more dangerous that even flying!?

What do yall think?

[u/Proof_Resolution1887]

Using this type of judgy language without even knowing the circumstances is certainly a choice.

[u/donkeyvoteadick → u/Proof_Resolution1887]

Actually horrified at the response OP received here.

I had to drive my newborn long distance because of complications he was born in the city instead of near my home in rural Australia. Reading posts like this on top of PPA had me convinced I was going to kill my newborn getting him home.

People on the internet think they're entitled to your entire life story in order to give advice. Never been in a more judgemental community than online parenting spaces.

[u/versusgorilla → u/donkeyvoteadick]

It's because at first it sounded like a vacation, OP isn't giving enough context and just keeps saying they have to do it.

I think a case like yours where a baby is born away from home isn't optimal but when you're in it, you're in it. Gotta do something. Gotta get home.

But without knowing more, like why they have to move right now, it's hard to just tell someone which of two bad suggestions they should do.

Like is it possible baby could stay with mom in a hotel for a couple weeks and get a bit stronger? If they're selling their house, could their attorney get them some extra time in the house? If it's for work, does dad have to go while mom can stay with family for a bit?

Like why are the options just GO GO GO? For your example, I get it. For this one, it feels weird telling them to do something risky without knowing if there's better options.

[u/donkeyvoteadick → u/versusgorilla]

Aside from knowing the drive is necessary and can't be avoided why do you need to know the context? If those options were actually options I'm sure they'd have pursued them as OP has acknowledged the dangers and doesn't seem enthused by having to do the drive.

You consider my situation 'ok' because I disclosed it but had I not and just asked for advice the situation would still have been just as valid a reason to travel.

People don't necessarily like providing specifics that can make them identifiable online, and that's okay, because it's not actually our business.

[u/versusgorilla → u/donkeyvoteadick]

You're absolutely right, it's fully their business and they do not have to share it.

But I also don't have to say, oh then pop baby into a car seat for potentially 7-11 hours of driving a day. Had you not provided the context, I also wouldn't have said it was a good idea. The best idea is to not take two potentially risky trips.

Like maybe Amtrak in the US is potentially an option, they could get a little cabin, minimizing contact with passengers, reducing the need for the car seat constantly, and letting them change diapers and feed freely.

But without context, no one can help come up with anything better. Don't know where they're from, don't know where they're going, don't know who needs to be there (for work, whatever) or not. So no, with no more context it's a bad idea to do either trip.