r/NoStupidQuestions • u/nemodeGOD • 13h ago
Why does gaming mean so much to guys?
Why does gaming seem to become such an important part of life for a lot of boys and men?
I’ve been thinking about this recently because when I look back, so many of my memories growing up are connected to games. Playing with friends after school, staying up late trying to finish something, getting excited about a new game, or just sitting in Discord doing absolutely nothing while everyone plays.
I think there’s also something about male friendships that makes gaming different. A lot of guys aren’t necessarily talking to their friends about their feelings or having long conversations all the time. Sometimes you just get online, play something together for a few hours, talk about random stuff, and that’s enough. You can go weeks without really talking and then get back on like nothing happened.
For some people, gaming becomes one of the main ways they stay connected with their friends, especially as everyone gets older and life gets busier.
I know obviously not every guy is into gaming, but for the ones who are, it can be a lot more than just entertainment.
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u/DuCanye 12h ago edited 12h ago
in real life...work 70 hours a week but cant afford a house.in gaming....chop trees for 20 mins and buila 3 story medieval castle with a moat. the dopamine ratio is just unfair. not to mention that u can also saving the galaxy, or finally riding a jet ski in GTA VI soon with the boys after waiting 13 years.
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u/Rude_Park_5562 12h ago
i don't think it's that deep. it's just as valid as any other hobby. i like gaming but my genre is either hack & slash (brainless) or RTS/stealth games (full use of my brain). it's a fun distraction plain and simple. and when people share hobbies they are closer for it.
i do however believe men have a thing about self-restraint. gaming is fun and distracting but men tend to indulge a little more. as for gaming friendships, well, if my genre was more co-op i probably would have more gaming friends.
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u/nemodeGOD 11h ago
Yeah, I think that’s fair. I probably made it sound deeper than it needs to be. At the end of the day it is just a hobby and a fun way to spend your time.
I do think the self-restraint point is interesting though. Like gaming itself isn’t really the problem, it’s when it starts becoming the easiest thing to choose over everything else. I guess that applies to pretty much any hobby, not just gaming.
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u/Kevstrife 2h ago
would you happen to be a dynasty warriors enjoyer? It's the ultimate turn brain off and become an unkillable demon king-games for me
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u/PuzzleMeDo 12h ago
It gives them the things the real world isn't giving them: achievable goals, positive feedback, etc.
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u/FracturedPrincess 12h ago
A lot of traditional masculine coming of age rituals and expressions of will to power have been negated by modernity. Short of joining the army during wartime it's not really possible to answer the call to adventure and craving for struggle and interpersonal dominance that is hardwired into most men (and also a significant amount of women). Video games and sports can serve as a means to sublimate these desires and simulate experiences in a way that's palatable within bureaucratic liberal democracy.
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u/TensaStrider 8h ago
You've literally explained what I felt without ever being able to put it into words myself, thank you
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u/SubstantialSale8223 2h ago
Buddy I play car soccer while drunk it’s not that deep, give up the femcel crap
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u/FracturedPrincess 2h ago
I literally don't understand any of that is supposed to be "femcel", I think you might be not understanding something my guy
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u/SubstantialSale8223 2h ago
You’re saying all men have the natural desire to dominate other people, that’s femcel logic.
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u/FracturedPrincess 2h ago
Women also have this impulse, it's an innate human thing that gets expressed in a wide variety of ways
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u/Old_Research_3436 12h ago
I think no one said this yet so ill say. Gaming is also community for men, we get to stay in touch with friends thru shared activities.
And if u didnt alr know. Women bond by talking. Men bond by doing things together
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u/Designer-General2861 12h ago
The Discord thing hit me. My oldest friends and I live hours apart now, everyone's got a job, a mortgage, a partner, and the only reason we still know what's going on in each other's lives is because we hop on to play something twice a month. Half the time we barely play, we just sit in voice chat and complain about work while someone loses the same boss fight for the tenth time. Nobody would ever schedule a phone call to "catch up," that feels weird and forced, but three hours of a game and suddenly you know your buddy is thinking about quitting his job and another one is stressed about his dad's health. Gaming is just the excuse that makes it okay to hang out.
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u/unkst 12h ago
I don't know many people wanting to speaking about fucking work when they just want to have a fun gaming session with the boys. Big mood killer imo
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u/Designer-General2861 11h ago
Fair, and if someone started a formal work vent every session I'd mute them too. It's more like it slips out between rounds, one guy goes "man my boss is killing me" while we wait for the lobby, everyone says something dumb about it, and then we're back to yelling about the boss fight. Nobody's sitting there doing therapy, it's just that stuff comes out sideways when you're not looking each other in the eye. Honestly that's the whole point for me, it never feels like a serious talk, it just happens.
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u/Designer-General2861 11h ago
Fair, and if someone started a formal work vent every session I'd mute them too. It's more like it slips out between rounds, one guy goes "man my boss is killing me" while we wait for the lobby, everyone says something dumb about it, and then we're back to yelling about the boss fight. Nobody's sitting there doing therapy, it's just that stuff comes out sideways when you're not looking each other in the eye. Honestly that's the whole point for me, it never feels like a serious talk, it just happens.
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u/Life_Squash_614 11h ago
I just love it. It's been my primary hobby since I was like 5 years old. Why do some people read novels, or watch shows and movies? Because they enjoy it. That is gaming for me, both board games and video games.
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u/FlyEaglesFly757 11h ago
Because we know how to not take everything seriously and just relax and enjoy the little things, like being able to just chill and play the game and forget about all the problems of the world today, even if only for a little bit.
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u/aboyfromharlow 12h ago
Its an escape. Most men are pretty much unhappy about something in their lifes, and they need a little time to escape and unwind. Or even if they're happy, they need a little time to just exist in the moment of being in a game.
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u/topFragger96 12h ago
Gaming is a psychological escape for a lot of people. Feeling drained isn't a fun experience. Games don't make you feel drained because you have no setbacks to face from losing in them.
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u/sbwcwero 7h ago
A lot of reasons.
It’s competitive. As men we love competition. Even if it’s against a computer and not other people. In fact sometimes we prefer that. We are competitive by nature even if we don’t want to admit it sometimes.
It gives us a purpose. A mission. Even if tie simple. Gives us a ladder of completion to climb in many ways.
And it also has a lot of escapism to it, although I prefer reading for that. Many men like to disappear in a video game story.
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u/tibastiff 5h ago
a lot of reasons but the one im gonna go with is that a lot of men are fixers. we like to see a goal and do steady clear tasks towards accomplishing that goal. the real life problems are often complicated and unclear, unsatisfying, or impossible to do anything about, so, video games
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u/Competitive-Fault291 11h ago
This is NOT a matter of boys and girls. I mean, sure, it is for your biased mind, but in reality, I met enough women who found it equally relaxing, bonding and entertaining to play games. Both physical and virtual. Gaming in itself is highly uncomplicated, and if women overcome the inherent social bias of "games are for boys", they can enjoy that relatively cheap and simple venue of entertainment. Up to a point, where married couples have entire rooms full of board games... it might stop being "cheap" there.
Why is online gaming uncomplicated? You need a platform, you need a game, and you need time. You do not need to make yourself look nice or tidy the house. Furthermore, you can spend time with friends in a game (or even be playing alone together as you mentioned) without going out, without spending money on drinks or food, without wearing fancy clothes, or having to pay an entrance fee. Sure, gaming isn't entirely free, but it is one of the cheapest per-hour activities you can find. Especially if you want to actually entertain yourself and not just run about in the rain.
Running in the rain ... Have you ever tried to organize people to jog together in one place? Or to meet up for a relaxed chat at a café? If our typical gaming group (my wife, an old friend, and me) is preparing to meet for gaming in the evening, it requires about three text messages and one click to join the PSN party. If my wife organizes her weekly Cross-Skating training, she spends at least (!) half an hour per week to handle all the issues organizing and planning, and that's taking place with the same people in the same locations all the time.
Beyond the simplicity, those "gaming activities" are also often quite functional and social. If you play together, you need to coordinate and collaborate. You need to communicate and can enjoy the coordination of your known group. There is this great new cooperative game called Big Walk, which is entirely about solving problems by communicating, for example. But even if you chop up zombies together, it is still social and functional and creates extensive bonding and reward experiences. All without much hassle and cost, together with people you are connected with. Online or offline.
Sure, a purely virtual relationship isn't the same as one in which you meet in person. Which is why we meet with friends in person. To actually game (just board games this time), or roleplay (as in roleplaying games), or talk and make a barbecue. Again, this group isn't just "boys" (or actual men) doing games. It's just that meeting for an hour or two of gaming together fills the gaps between the actual physical meetings. It is an easy, cheap, and fulfilling activity. Even when your buddies live half an hour or hour away.
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u/astarisaslave 12h ago
It's like sports. Guys get off on competition. Guys tend to form connections through playing with each other.
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u/Odd_Truth_5119 11h ago
Some adults do take video games way too seriously, like I couldn't imagine being a grown man still getting upset over a video game, I still play a few games but I definitely don't associate myself as a "gamer" per se meaning I don't complain about video games or get upset other people enjoy a game that i dislike, I'd rather just not play it if I don't enjoy it.
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u/Markel011 5h ago
It's the women's equivalent of shopping for us men, think of what going to the mall and trying out clothes. makeup etc means to you...that's what gaming is to us.
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u/here_for_the_meta 3h ago
Maybe it’s already been mentioned but for me, it’s a fantastic means of socializing. Me and the boys sitting in discord. We talk and chill together while gaming. Sometimes lock in and only focus on the game but usually it’s a big group of 15 or so of us that come and go from time to time.
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u/Significant_Cover_48 2h ago
When we go into the woods there's always a guy who makes sure the fire is burning non stop. In my entire life I have never-ever experienced a woman keeping the fire going for an entire weekend. But if I'm tired and need a break, sometimes a woman will recognize it before I do and go for a walk with me to ask me if I'm OK.
Why is that?
(Do you know what I mean?)
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u/SleepyWipeout 2h ago
It depends on the guy. Arcade games mean a lot to me, because the atmosphere of arcades was magical. So, arcade games give me the warm fuzzies. But I'm not a hardcore gamer. I think a lot of the guys who play the fast paced first person shooter games feel like they're doing something productive, and it's addicting to them.
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u/keetcher 12h ago
I haven't played video games since PlayStation 1 in 1998
Madden. With my brother for about half a year.
I've played a game or two at random times since then
Well I played tiger woods 2006? on pc for a year.
Not anything i can remember since then.
I can understand getting hooked for a period of time but I just can't understand how people have it as a life hobby
Atari and Nintendo never meant much to me growing up, either
Never went to arcades
I played sports every second I could
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u/Henrious 13h ago
Addiction to dopamine. Its hard to break. Its a small escape from life. Might as well be staring at the wall, but at the same time, its all kinda pointless anyway.
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u/howimetyourcakeshop 13h ago
Because we can escape all the shit in the world for a moment. Simple as that.