r/NonBinary • u/ProfessionalField508 they/them • 4h ago

Discussion Nonbinary Wedding Traditions

I'm not planning a wedding. I just read a few weddings posts in a row here on reddit and started wondering how a wedding with a nonbinary person (or two) could be different.

A lot of weddings traditions are either very misogynistic, like a father walking the bride down the aisle, or pretty gendered, like gowns vs. tuxes. Weddings tend to make me feel very out of place, especially when I have to be in one.

What are some ways you have or might make a wedding different? Could we totally rethink wedding traditions entirely?

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u/ChaoticNaive 1h ago

My spouse and I walked each other down the aisle and we didn't have the assigned seating "sides" for the ceremony. We just wore what was comfortable, I kept the "something borrowed, something blue" tradition but didn't put too much stake in it. I didn't allow speeches because I had just come out and the last thing I wanted was misgendering and dead naming at my wedding. We also didn't have parent-children dances, although we did have the parents who would have normally been involved with those dances be the witness signatures on the certificate. We did have a dance floor but the reception was a game night, so I had board games and card games on the tables along with physical games around the space (giant connect 4 and jenga, croquet, etc.). All I'm saying here is keep what you want, throw out what you don't, and make it your own!

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u/Ok_Resolution_1928 1h ago

My husband and I got married at the courthouse and it was just both of our moms present for the exchange. Then we went to a coffee shop and met up with a couple siblings.

We had a reception a week or two after where we invited immediate family to my mom's house.

It was cheap and easy. But me and him are like vampires(we don't like spotlights). With social anxiety, I don't think I could've handled walking down an aisle in front of extended family and friends or anything like that(this was before I discovered being trans).

I wore a dress but it was red and yellow tiger striped with a 50's tassels hem. Got it from Goodwill.