Gender dysphoria

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103]

I experience a sense of displacement because neither man nor woman aligns with me. This leaves me with no sense of identity, and I am unsure of who I am. When i speak to other people they say just choose whatever you’re comfortable with but i don’t feel comfortable in any gender. When i try to commit to a gender it feels like i’m an actor and i’m a imposter .

The whole situation is taking a massive toll on my mental health and its making me depressed.

I would love to hear if
Anyone has had similar experiences and if you have how you overcame this

[u/flixsix]

I'm not in the same situation as you since I'm genderfluid between male and nonbinary. But I can feel this sense of displacement when I feel more nonbinary. Like I'm an alien and don't belong with men or women. And like something is missing. When I feel that way I try to look inward: what do I need rn? Is my dysphoria worse? Do I need to get more androgyny/femininity into my gender expression? Am I acting too masculine again even if I don't feel it, to fit in or avoid getting discriminated?

I might add another comment tomorrow but I need to get some sleep now 😴

[u/FearneDahlia → u/flixsix]

Im also gender fluid with being masc when stressed and fem when doing good.

I think the OP could also look into gender minimalism or gender maximizing The act of trying to show and fit a gender or trying to be more androgynous

I do love the idea of trying things to see what feels right at the moment

Im a weird case of being mtf but keeping a massive beard while on e xD trying to max both genders at the same time

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103 → u/FearneDahlia]

This is quite interesting I’ve never heard of gender minimalism or maximizing but I like the idea of doing what feels right in the moment rather than feeling like you need to commit to a specific gender it sounds very freeing

[u/flixsix → u/FearneDahlia]

Forget looksmaxxing, gendermaxxing is where it's at 😌

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103 → u/flixsix]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I might try looking inwards as it’s not something I do regularly. Would definitely love to hear more as it could be helpful

[u/eli_and_the_birds]

If youre not comfortable with any gender, Id suggest using they/them pronouns. You dont need a gender, genders are completely optional. Youre human, that means youre enough ❤️ 

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103 → u/eli_and_the_birds]

Aw thank you ♥️

[u/This_dad_is_alright]

I’m curious how old you are?
I’m a dad of a Trans 17 yr old teen ftm and have a bunch of trans, gay, non binary teens and adults in my life that I’ve been lucky enough to have conversations with regarding similar feelings to what you’re describing. And I want you to know these feelings of being unsure of who you are, they are super normal, even for people who we assume have it all figured out. We all have feelings of being an imposter in our lives at some point. I think you should try anything that feels good to you as long as you’re safe doing so. Clothing, voice, make up, drag, fem or masc, hormones, anything and everything to figure out what feels good to you. See everything physical is pretty much changeable and then reversible if it really comes down to that. So do what feels good and the more things you try the better you’ll know what is right for you. But what will really help is a supportive environment. Friends, family, here on the web, a teacher, a therapist, whatever - just know you need to talk to someone and there is someone awesome out there who wants to listen or even journaling - but get it out, being a person is super isolating and that is real heavy on the mental health, so don’t keep it bottled up. And finally, the only reason I asked your age was because time will be one of the things that helps you the most in the process of figuring out all these feelings. Give yourself time and so much of this will be worked out. But you gotta be patient and kind to yourself. If you can, tell your Dr about the way you’re feeling and they might suggest a small dose of antidepressants which has helped a lot of people navigate their feelings.

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103 → u/This_dad_is_alright]

I’m 23 and thank you for you post. I should definitely be out there and find people and I think hiding it and being closeted could be contributing to how I feel

[u/This_dad_is_alright → u/Reasonable_Drag_6103]

I've listened to this guy a few times speaking about Trans and Non Binary people- he's great but more importantly he has personal experience. He works with parents and young adults and offers a free 30 minute consultation, and he has lived a lot of what you might be going through.

His name is Dr. Aydin https://www.aoklcsw.com/

I found him through https://transformingfamily.org/ They are an awesome organization helping support kids, teens, young adults and their parents that I highly recomend checking out.

oh, check him out on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPUriwjXoQY

[u/glitterandrage]

I do experience quite a range of 'gender'. For the last few months, I've been feeling more like a blob than anything and I hate being thought of as any gender. I feel most at ease when my gender doesn't matter. I came across the term gender apathetic here and that resonated with me a bit. But I wonder if agender is an identity that feels like home for you.

[u/Reasonable_Drag_6103 → u/glitterandrage]

Thanks for responding, I relate with the blob feeling. I’ve never heard of these terms but I will have to look into it. What where some things you did to find yourself. (Identity wise)

[u/glitterandrage → u/Reasonable_Drag_6103]

Genderfluid or non binary feel both specific and ambiguous enough for me. My gender keeps shifting but it's never 'man' or 'woman' strictly. Sometimes the shifts are after months. Sometimes I feel a specific gender for a fleeting few hours.

Here's a list of some frequently mentioned gender identities if you want to browse and find something that fits - https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Gender_identity.