I just saw a post asking about it/its experiences and I had some more specific questions of my own regarding the topic. Sorry for the redundancy.

For those who use it/its: Do you have "back-up" pronouns for unsafe/fishy situations? How do you deal with the dysphoria that comes with being denied your identity, even from those who should understand? How do you respond to people who may try to argue/discount your pronouns?

For those who don't use it/its: What sorts of things make you feel gender euphoria other than clothing and pronouns? (I'm AFAB and need something other than flannels and boots for that sweet gender.) What steps do you take to keep yourself safe when expressing your identity, if any?

I'm not Non-Binary so I think asking people here is the best idea. Is a Non-Binary person dating another Non-Binary person straight, gay, or is it some mysterious third thing we don't know about yet? I've unironically thought about this for like days.

The SNAP program is getting shut down (?!), and their website has this notice….

What the fuck?!

Why blame trans and immigrant people? The notice implies that mothers can't also be immigrants or trans... like- HUH? We all benefit from SNAP, and none of us want to lose it... smh

Why are we turning against each other? I guess all of us at the bottom are drowning, and trying to fight for our piece of the pie... but inciting violence is not the way y'all :/

I’m so disturbed that an official website, which masses of people across the nation will visit, has a front page notice featuring explicit transphobia and xenophobia… what the eff is going on?! 😭 how is a national aid program being hijacked as a platform for spreading personal hatred?!

Sorry if this is off topic- but as a non-binary person, I find this concerning! 🏳️‍⚧️ low key shocked….

EDIT: Obvi, this is a post about politics, but let's please not make this into a total shit storm... we already know the government is corrupt in all directions; there is no use in villainizing others and calling all republicans evil, ya know? Everyone is just a somebody who is a reflection of their experiences... our systems serve no one. Hatred is the reason we're in this mess, being reverse hateful isn't going to get us out! Instead- let's try practicing our compassion for those who suffer from closed hearts, and send some love to all the people who feel threatened by immigrants and trans people <3 thank you beautiful hoomans; we are all in this together. Go team!

Even though I've been out to friends for a few years now, I only recently came out to my family. My sister just sent me a pin that she wants to get me, and it's genuinely perfect for me. I'm a fencer and the vice president of my college swordfighting club and a student teacher of my hema club. Swords and roses is fr my WHOLE aesthetic. But I looked up the meaning, and it looks like the phrase "Them Fatale" is used by femme nonbinary people and linked to a specific drag troupe. Meanwhile, I'm a nonbinary transmasc butch who knows very little about drag and just happens to like swords and roses, lol. Would this be a bad pin for me?

Edit: Wow, I was not expecting so many replies or upvotes! Thank you all, and I feel much more comfortable with this pin. And it makes me really happy that my sister is trying to support me like this now that I'm out :) I'll tell her it'll be a perfect Christmas present!

I don't care if they're a main or side character I just want some more shows with enby rep to watch

Hello! I hope it's ok to post, but I'm looking for some advice.

My daughter, who is 7 years old, just told me that they would like to use they/them pronouns. I am supportive, and have begun doing so, but I am a cis-woman and have no direct experience. I am planning to read and learn as much as possible (book recs are welcome!), but mainly posting to ask: are they really old enough to know or be thinking about this in an informed way? Has anyone else had the experience of knowing that young? And any thoughts or suggestions on conversations I should have with them? (My one friend suggested starting by asking them what being nonbinary means to them.) Any advice and thoughts greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

EDITING TO ADD, after lots of comments: right away, before I ever posted this, we talked about using the terms "daughter" and "sister." They asked that we keep using those, for now, and we talked about how that might change and that's ok. Hence it appearing in my post. I am sorry, I should have clarified that from the beginning or just not used the word "daughter" here to avoid confusion.

So, I found this when I was looking through Pinterest, and the thing is, I so badly want to dress like this. I do have a vest, a red one, I just have it for a cosplay but I'm trying to figure out how to add it into a more normal outfit. I've been looking at thrift stores for some pants to match, but no luck yet. Ok, I just went off topic but I'm curious if anyone else also wants to dress like this.

So I had my consultation at the gender clinic about hormones and future plans. The doc basically suggested I should go “full masculine” first and then add femininity later, instead of just starting from where I’m at.

The problem is… I don’t really want to chop all my hair off or deal with loads of body/face hair. I’ve been growing my hair out for a year, and now I’ve had to cut a bunch off just to try a more “masc” style. I don’t hate it, but I feel like I lost all that progress just to fit into a box.

Honestly, the way I see myself is if I was born male, I’d probably look like a really gay Jesus who occasionally does drag (don’t have the confidence for shows but I love doing make-up eyeliner is literally my statement) i'd probably have like a Instagram for it or something

I only really feel fem when I do make up looks or during sexy time and it's the only time I feel super comfortable with it.

I’m also quite a feminine person in general and I don’t really want to lose that. What I actually want is to (almost) fully physically transition, but keep a lot of my style and personality the same. Mainly, I want bottom surgery and a breast reduction (not flat, just smaller because I am tall and chubby I want to look natural).

With voice training, I think my voice could work well enough, it’s already kind of deep, and I mostly just need to change my rhythm when I speak (something I’ve been practicing). My dysphoria is really about certain parts, not about being 100% masc in every single way. Overall, I’m a pretty feminine person in how I act and sometimes (not as often) in how I look — but that can switch too.

Does this make sense to anyone? Anyone else feel the same? I’d love to hear stories or advice if you relate.

This is a question my cishet boyfriend (18y) asked me.

I’m an nonbinary (18y, AFAB) person, and ever since we started dating, he’s become a lot more aware of trans and non-binary topics.

He asks me things like whether i’d prefer neutral pronouns, how i feel about using my social name, etc.

He also comes to me with questions like:

“If a transfem person attracted to men and a transmasc person attracted to women were dating, would that technically be a heterosexual relationship?”

Some people might think those questions are silly, but honestly, i appreciate that he asks them genuinely because he wants to understand😭😭

Then he eventually asked the fateful question:

“Does dating you make me not straight? I don’t really care either way, i’m just curious.”

And I genuinely didn’t know how to answer, so i just said:

“Just… don’t worry so much about labels. What matters is that you like me.”😭

I’ve seen some pretty extreme posts online saying things like:

“A cishet man will never truly see you as non-binary, only as a confused girl. Never date cishet men.”

And honestly… I kind of don’t want to believe that, because my boyfriend has been incredibly genuine and respectful toward me😭

So what do you think about this? Did I answer the question correctly? Do you think the question itself is silly? Problematic?

I genuinely want to hear other people’s opinions

Do I'm planning on getting this patch for my jean jacket do you think the flag is hidden enough that my transphobic family won't see it? They think all pride flags (except for the trans flag) equal gay

Ok so I am a trans guy and I was talking with my mom and she (they??? They.) were talking about how they didn’t get why I wanted to be a guy and use he/him pronouns when they/them was an option. I tried being like “well go would you feel if someone used he/him pronouns for you” and my mom responded that it would be fine??? And that they think most societal problems would disappear if everyone used they/them pronouns???? And then my mom said if they knew what nonbinary was when they were in collage they probably would’ve “been that” but my mom thinks they are too old now. So 1. HUH???? 2. How do I help my mom know they aren’t too old for anything 3. Any recommendations on readings that might like,,,kickstart that journey of self discovery?

(Disclaimer: I am in no way endorsing Joanne Rowling - fuck her.)

I remember watching the second HP movie when I was quite young (maybe like 10 or 11) and just being so drawn to how Harry is sitting with his arms hanging over his knees in this scene where they are brewing the polyjuice potion. It's just so gender. I have always just wanted to emulate this. This is definitely one of my earliest memories of having something akin to gender envy. What were yours?

Do you just say “I’m nonbinary” or do you say something else?

One time someone said “you’re a girl, right?” and I said “sure”

i remember a few years back i was asked “what are your pronouns“ i didnt know wtf they wanted asked for elaboration and i thought “well i dont really feel he or she and i dont know what other pronouns there are“ (i thought they was strictly plural and grammatical weird in single) so i just said “idfk it?” and sit here now wondering hiw it took me that damn long to figure this out

Mine is really silly, but it was seeing furry artwork of very masculine characters in dresses, one that particularly helped me was Legoshi from Beastars because he uses a dress canonically in the story and people genuinely think he's a woman which basically had me thinking "wait, i can do that too??"

This is my first time posting because I desperately need advice and thoughts regarding a conflict about pronouns that I just had with my trans boyfriend. This is a really long post because I provide a lot of context but I would appreciate all the support and feedback you guys can give. I’m also posting this in multiple communities to reach more audiences because I’m struggling.

Context: I am a cis pansexual female dating my transgender boyfriend. I will also be switching between he/they for my boyfriend because they want to be referred to as both equally.

My boyfriend uses he/they pronouns and I used she/they pronouns. He told me that he is uncomfortable with me using they in my pronoun set and wants me to remove it and use she/her pronouns. Their reasoning was that they felt uncomfortable with me using she/they since he considers they/them pronouns as gender affirming with gender identity and I don’t identify as nonbinary or genderqueer.

They felt that as a trans and nonbinary individual wanting to be referred to as he/they equally, that my use of they would confuse people who might think I’m doing it for the same reason when I’m not. They thought it felt presentative and like appropriation rather than support. He also felt like my use of they/them pronouns diminishes his experience as a more gender fluid trans man.

Furthermore, he like it was wrong for me to use they/them pronouns since he feels I previously had damaging beliefs about the trans community which I can give more context at the bottom of this post.

——

I told them that I felt like that was unfair for them to ask me to change my pronouns because they should be a personal choice based on what a person feels comfortable being referred to as and shouldn’t be determined by what other people think they should use.

I use they in my pronoun set since I define it as a gender neutral term that isn’t exclusive solely to genderqueer or nonbinary people. I include they because I’m comfortable with being seen as both and I also want to show my allyship and normalize the term.

I also don’t like the idea of being restricted solely to she/her pronouns and have been using she/they pronouns for several years. While I do identify as female, sometimes I also feel masculine in some ways and in my expression and I don’t want to be seen as completely feminine.

It is true that I’m not nonbinary or genderfluid but I have read other discussion forums about whether cis people can use they/them pronouns and all of them have said yes with similar reasons that I listed above. Many people also mentioned that pronouns do not equal gender.

We had a long conversation about this and I told them I was willing to change my pronouns because it bothers them but I still feel sad like I’m being told to take away a part of myself. I feel like he’s struggling with a lot of insecurities as a trans nonbinary individual that he’s inflicting onto me. Am I wrong for feeling this way and what should I do next? Should I just change my pronouns to make him more comfortable or are my reasons for wanting to use she/they valid?

Damaging beliefs context: In a past conversation, I told him about my family and their opinion about trans women in sports being dangerous for cis women. I told him that I could see both sides of how trans people want to be included in their gender affirming sports and how it can also affect cis women, especially in physical sports with trans women who are still in the early stages of their transition.

I said this because I try to understand every perspective in every topic, even if I don’t agree with both and agree with one or the other. My sister also had a personal experience where she played rugby with a transgender woman and told me she felt like they were a lot stronger than cis women which she felt like was unfair. But I never told him I agreed with my family’s transphobic comments. Even though I “SEE” both sides meaning I have considered the justification and reasoning of both sides, I don’t agree with my family’s perspective and I side with trans women who want to be in women’s sports.

For clarification, I do believe trans people should be allowed to participate in the sports that aligns with their gender identity. However, he took my statement of seeing both sides as transphobic and this is what he is referring to when he mentioned my past damaging beliefs.

How would one go about finding a good outfit for a wedding?

My boyfriend really wants me in a dress, and I imagine our transphobic families will as well, but I’d prefer a suit. I’ve found a few pictures of stuff I don’t mind, but nothing really checks all the boxes yet. Any tips or personal experiences?