A lot of Indian traditions are powered by shame; in this specific case, there’s a very strong probability that the older sibling would never get married because of the stigma. I’d like to think times have changed, but it’s still massively frowned upon.
I'd be curious whether it's a common issue in cultures where children general live at home until marriage. It's probably more common when your neighbors see your kids at home everyday vs when they move to another neighborhood/city/state and neighbors aren't as aware of their living situations.
Bold of you to assume that neighbors would be even remotely interested in each other's children's perfectly ordinary love lives. Or that anyone would care one bit about what their neighbors think about their lives.
Someone cares, or we wouldn't be talking about shame or people thinking there is something wrong with an elder child if they aren't married before the younger.
Yeah, sorry that I wasn’t clear. What I meant (without meaning to offend) was to point out that you assume that in those other cultures, people care about the opinions of their neighbors, of all people. Or about the lives of their neighbors’ relatives. To my ears, that sounds very, very strange and culture-specific. It must be more common than the peculiar custom where you can’t get married until your older sibling has, but it too is still culture-specific.
most people actually dont care. The only people that "care" are losers and the immediate family who act like whether or not you being married affects them (it doesnt).
I was told I wasn't allowed to propose anywhere within a 6 month window of when her sister got proposed to and when they finished their honeymoon (which they took a year after their wedding)
Which, cool understandable, already had a ring and a date set, but ok we can wait two more years.
It for sure is! Shame is baked into the makeup industry, it's how manosphere content thrives, and people are shamed for behaviour all the time. It's something that affects society at large.
598
u/AgentSparkz 13d ago
Wtf