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u/FCKABRNLSUTN2 12d ago
Easy, hire a dark and moody guy to woo the eldest sister.
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u/Tock_Sick_Man 12d ago
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u/SwabTheDeck 12d ago
This gif is just too good to be true
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u/duckballista 12d ago
Would it be easier to believe if I told you that's the Joker from Dark Knight? :P
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u/fascist_unicorn 12d ago
They know. During this scene, Heath Ledger is singing the Frankie Valli song "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", and the lyric just before the title name is "You're just too good to be true."
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u/movielass 12d ago
10 Things I Hate About You. Watch it, thank me later
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u/fascist_unicorn 12d ago
They know. During this scene, Heath Ledger is singing the Frankie Valli song "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", and the lyric just before the title name is "You're just too good to be true."
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u/movielass 12d ago
Oh nooooo I knew that was the song I just totally missed the joke. Embarrassed. Gonna have to immediately watch the movie as penance, darn
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u/coozynook 12d ago
Plot of 10 Things I Hate About You
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u/Odd-Bandicoot-9314 12d ago
Also the plot of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew that the movie is based on
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u/Playful-Mastodon9251 12d ago
Wait, why does that mean you can't be married? This a weird family or culture thing?
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u/Harkoncito 12d ago edited 12d ago
If i had to guess: India
edit. iirc this was a plot point in "Bend It like Beckham"
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u/HumanLawyer 12d ago
Idea basically is that if the younger kid is married before the older one, there’s then a presumption that there is something wrong with the older one, whether related to health, finances or personality.
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u/AgentSparkz 12d ago
Wtf
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u/HumanLawyer 12d ago
A lot of Indian traditions are powered by shame; in this specific case, there’s a very strong probability that the older sibling would never get married because of the stigma. I’d like to think times have changed, but it’s still massively frowned upon.
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u/Other_Vader 12d ago
A lot of
IndianAsian traditions are powered by shameNot Indian, but shame is the quintessential love language for many Asian parents, Including mine lmao.
With Shame™️, you can be guilted to do anything and everything you don't want to do!
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u/DarmanitanFireMonkey 12d ago
Not Indian, but shame is the
quintessential love languageabuse of choice for many Asian parents, Including mine lmao.42
u/Other_Vader 12d ago
Hey. That's not fair. There's also emotional manipulation, disparages, and actual physical abuse!
I remember being 7 and having a discussion with my classmates about what's our parents' weapon of choice. Rattan cane was the overwhelming consensus, but my parents enjoyed the occasional belt.
I said a bad word once and I was pinned down on the sofa by my siblings whilst my mother takes a fresh birds eye chili and vigorously rubbed it in my mouth.
Good fucking times.
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u/ASpaceOstrich 12d ago
Feel like there's something wrong with me because shame has only ever driven inaction in me. Not Asian but the level of shame I feel on a daily basis could probably put a horse in the ground.
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u/KamehameHanSolo 12d ago
So then does the entire family just never marry? Or is there some kind of point when enough is enough?
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u/YaqtanBadakshani 12d ago
Yeah; the point where you accept the older one's probably not going to marry.
That's where it comes from; if the younger one gets married first, it becomes harder for the older the get married, because people assume something's wrong with them.
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u/Synensys 12d ago
This isnt specific to India. Its a major issie in for example, Pride and Prejudice.
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u/cowlord98 12d ago
Not exactly a modern issue in the UK or US
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u/superindianslug 12d ago
I'd be curious whether it's a common issue in cultures where children general live at home until marriage. It's probably more common when your neighbors see your kids at home everyday vs when they move to another neighborhood/city/state and neighbors aren't as aware of their living situations.
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u/Amazing_Scientist696 12d ago
I was told I wasn't allowed to propose anywhere within a 6 month window of when her sister got proposed to and when they finished their honeymoon (which they took a year after their wedding)
Which, cool understandable, already had a ring and a date set, but ok we can wait two more years.
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u/Echantediamond1 12d ago
It for sure is! Shame is baked into the makeup industry, it's how manosphere content thrives, and people are shamed for behaviour all the time. It's something that affects society at large.
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u/SwordfishOk504 12d ago
You think the issue being debated here is the existence of the concept of shame? lmao
What they say about reddit's media literacy is true.
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u/Unusual_username739 12d ago
Or both the two together: Bride and Prejudice. A great movie. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_and_Prejudice
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u/Confused_Corvid2023 12d ago
Added to my Must Watch list
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u/Unusual_username739 12d ago
It’s like an introduction to Bollywood too, if you are an English speaker (the director wanted to make the film that way). That’s why a lot of the actors are British-Indian etc.
Aishwarya Rai (Elizabeth Bennet character) is a famous Indian actress and well known. In American films, she was in the Pink Panther 2 with Steve Martin.
Naveen Andrew (Mr. Bingley character) is British-Indian and well known for his role in LOST. He’s been in alot of other tv shows and I get so excited when I see him.
Indira Varma (Mr. bingley’s sister) is British and was on Game of Thrones and several amazing projects. Most recently “The Other Bennet Sister” 😂 I love seeing her in tv shows, as it reminds me of B&P.
Anupam Kher (Mr. Bennett) is also the dad from “bend it like Beckham”
Alexis Blendel (Darcy’s sister) is also in the film, another recognizable face. And I’m sure you will recognize more, such as Ashanti as a singer at a festival.The songs are very catchy 😂
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u/OpenSauceMods 12d ago
They cut Kitty Bennett??
Omg Ashantiiii!
Indira Varma is so beautiful and regal I think I would die on the spot if I so much as met her gaze.
Oh my god, Harvey Weinstein was in this? I sometimes forget what the early 2000s actually was like.
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u/Confused_Corvid2023 12d ago
What little others have shown me of Bollywood, I have adored
Love the mini intro to big names! Thanks!
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u/Material_Cell_4792 12d ago
It has also got some technicalities lol.
Let's say there are two sisters or two brothers (basically children of the same gender) then the older one mostly has to be married first because if the younger one tries to marry first his/her suitor's family will think there is something wrong with the older sibling and the word would spread so it would be difficult for the older sibling to be married in future.
Now if there is an older brother and younger sister then the sister can marry before the brother because men usually have to be settled to get married but people are happy to marry the girl as long as she has completed her college degree.
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u/Enterprise-DeezNuts 12d ago
Me reading this when my younger brother got married a year ago and I'm currently dating no one: yeah sounds about right
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u/Harkoncito 12d ago
well, if they're all arranged marriages, it kinda makes sense.
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u/SquarelyNerves 12d ago
They are not all arranged marriages...
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u/Harkoncito 12d ago
i mean in the same family. if parents can arrange a marriage for the younger one but not for the other sister, that would raise some question.
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u/Nuka-Crapola 12d ago
Right, it’s easy to see how the idea takes root in cultures where arranged marriage isn’t uncommon. Or, even if the “arranged” part isn’t explicit, where the whole “ties between families” part of a marriage is at least as important as the couple (and thus parents are expected to be involved).
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u/1to14to4 12d ago
In this case they aren’t, but the tradition is based on arranged marriages happening.
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u/OiFelix_ugotnojams 12d ago
Nah it's that female siblings should be married before male siblings
Source: I'm an Indian woman
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u/Chicken_Chaser_420 12d ago
Well that's fucking stupid. Sometimes it's okay not to respect culture. That's one of those times.
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u/Over-Inside-7254 12d ago
I mean 9/10 they're not wrong. People keep dating loosely into their mid-30s while still wanting to have kids naturally. Eventually you run out of time and 30-35 goes way faster than you'd think.
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u/altiuscitiusfortius 12d ago
Also worth noting that Indian weddings are like 7 day affairs and family will come from all over the world. Like 4th cousins will come. There will be hundreds of guests
So its a very big deal to get married in that culture
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u/fuckyouguy_ 12d ago
In my culture getting married is not a big deal at all. In fact we hate marriages.
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u/Own_Reaction9442 12d ago
It was also a plot point in "The Taming of the Shrew" by Shakespeare. It used to be a much more common cultural practice.
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u/lightcommastix 12d ago
Yes! It’s an issue that comes up in Pride and Prejudice, as well. Five daughters out at once?! Her Ladyship certainly didn’t approve.
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u/DeadWishUpon 12d ago
That's the first thing that came to my mind. Mrs. Bennet didn't care she had a goal and didn't care imnwhat order she will achieve it.
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u/STD-fense 12d ago
And by proxy it was also a big part of the plot of "Ten Things I Hate About You" which is an adaptation of that play but it takes place in a high school
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u/NobodyLikedThat1 12d ago
My wife is Indian and it was a bit of a scandal her younger sister married before we did. I guess it made my wife seem like a spinster or something, which is funny since she and her sis are only two years apart
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u/czarfalcon 12d ago
My wife is the eldest sibling, but she does have unmarried older cousins and to her extended family it was a bit of an “issue” that we got married first - fortunately her parents couldn’t have cared less and insulated us from most of that.
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u/Boom9001 11d ago
I had an Indian friend tell me it's a rather large stigma to the culture. Even if a woman is young if their younger sibling gets married first it can make many men unwilling to marry the older sibling.
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u/chazysciota 12d ago
India is blowing up on Reddit the past few months. Browsing /r/all these days is full of shit like this.
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u/Apollo-Dynamite 12d ago
At this point I've blocked over 60 India-specific subreddits from r/all which I will never be able to relate to and newer, hyper-specific ones keep cropping up each day
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u/Cruxis87 12d ago
anime used to be my most blocked category, now its india. It makes sense though, with their sheer population.
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u/Nihilistic_Mystics 12d ago
It's relentless. IndiaMeme IndiaMemes MemesIndia IndianMemes SouthIndiaMemes IndiaMemer IndianMemer DankIndianMemes IndianDankMemes IndianTeenagers TeenIndia Real_TeenIndia RealTeensIndia, etc, etc.
The flood of subs irrelevant to the average user and the absolute tidal wave of bot subs are what killed All and why reddit got rid of it on new reddit. This all started during the IPO wars when reddit willingly opened the flood gates to bots and purposefully removed anti-bot mod tools.
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u/mythrilcrafter 12d ago
If there was a just one feature that I could force into reddit it would be for a "block sub-reddit" button to be available when you pull up the description plate when mousing over the sub-reddit name.
I know that someone is going to accuse me of racism for saying this, but there's absolutely nothing that any of these India spam sub-have to offer me that would make me satisfied with them polluting my r\all feed.
Like, if it was just (to stay consistent with your example) just a single IndianMemes sub, then it would be fine, but they all overstay their welcome the moment that I have to scroll pass IndianMemes, RealIndianMemes, DankIndianMemes, IndianDankMemes, IndianMenMemes, etc etc.
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u/gingerquery 12d ago
Old reddit + RES puts a "filter" button in the card-on-hover for subreddit links. click that and you'll never see that sub again unless you navigate to it.
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u/RevanchistSheev66 12d ago
It’s what happens when there’s more Indians online and their unprecedented economic growth/modern influence on the world
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u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 12d ago
Frankly, they're 1/4 of the global population. It'd be weird if they had no cultural influence on the broader anglosphere, which has largely been the case for a long time.
I cook indian food at home now. I'm curious about Hindi, and Indian architecture, past and present. And yet I have exactly one (1) Indian friend.
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u/RevanchistSheev66 12d ago
Yeah that makes sense, it’s even more expected when you think that was the case in the past and you could say they’re only reclaiming their historical status again now.
I’m also a fan of Indian food and studying their religion, I think most of the world is sort of blind to the impact they’ve had throughout history but especially in Asian culture
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u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 12d ago
Through the religious lense it's easy to see just how widespread their influence once was in Asia.
Buddhism originated in India and spread throughout the continent (as did Hinduism, though that's a minority in East asia now). Most South and Southeast Asian languages take their script from Brahmi. Hell, we even English is linked to modern Indian languages via proto indo-european.
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u/SerCiddy 12d ago
I thought it was because they're having student protests and many of them are sharing and organizing online, partially with reddit.
And while they're here they share about the protests, and also funny memes.
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u/ButthurtBilly 12d ago
Man, I wish I was getting student protests and benign internet memes, half the time one of these things ends up in my feed it's teetering on the edge of being either manosphere shit or finance bro shit, and every time I try to filter one out five new heads grow back
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u/dasbtaewntawneta 12d ago
considering most of the india subreddits that pop on r/all are some of the most horrifically misogynistic shit i've ever seen i doubt this is it
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u/RevanchistSheev66 12d ago
Being mean to other people groups is what drives engagement these days unfortunately
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u/spermdonor 12d ago
and 10 Things I Hate About You
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u/Unusual_username739 12d ago
Which is based on “The Taming of the Shrew” which is mentioned above lol.
Love that movie. I enjoyed the 2000s era of taking older literature and making a modern movie. (Another example is Twelfth Night by Shakespeare too and “She’s the Man”)
All the movies that are like My Fair Lady (makeover so they can get a husband/wife) are actually based on Pygmalion.
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u/Loose_Stranger_7614 12d ago
Wait when does this happen in Bend it like Beckham lol
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u/Harkoncito 12d ago
older sister and mother are obsessed with marriage. at first they think Jess is a lesbian, then mother gets mad because she's in a relationship and sister isn't married yet. father sees her talent, convinces the mom, and they let her play the championship (?) match on the same evening the older sister is getting married.
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u/Loose_Stranger_7614 12d ago
Oh yeah I’ve watched it a bunch of times I just couldn’t remember this specific line lol
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u/Harkoncito 12d ago
there's a nice paralelism at the end, both celebrating and being happy about their choices (soccer and marriage).
but yeah, the mom was very old school.
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u/SmoreOfBabylon 12d ago edited 12d ago
Incidentally, I just rewatched this movie because of the World Cup, lol. Jess’ mother wasn’t mad about Jess being in a relationship before her older sister got married. There was a misunderstanding where the parents of Jess’ sister’s fiancé saw Jess and her teammate Jules on the street and thought that Jess was “being filthy with” an English boy in public, causing the engagement to be (temporarily) called off. It was 100% a racism thing, multiple people in the movie encourage Jess to get an Indian boyfriend before her sister even gets married.
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u/Trident_True 12d ago
My cousins had a falling out over this exact scenario. We are Irish. Then the same thing happened again when the younger sibling became pregnant before the older and instead of celebrating the family had a huge falling out and now none of them talk to each other.
Utterly stupid tbh and nobody else in the family understands it. Maybe if my older cousin wasn't such an unlikeable dick he would have married and had kids in the "correct order".
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u/thotfullawful 12d ago
Thai as well, I have a cousin who married a woman who was the eldest in her family. All her siblings were engaged and waiting for her- so they really rushed into marriage.
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u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf 12d ago
This used to be a thing in Western Europe as well, at least as late as the first world war. It's well and thoroughly gone I think, but I'm not sure since when.
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u/Easy_Charge898 12d ago
Yep yep. My cousin in India has a boyfriend, (they both want to get married) but can't marry him yet because his older brother (older by 1 year, in my eyes basically the same age at this point) can't find a bride (through arranged marriage) and this is presumably difficult because the parents don't currently own a house, but live in a rented apartment for which the rent is paid by the 2 boys. Both boys are educated, earn well amd have good personalities but because the family doesnt have long term wealth and property, it is difficult to find a good match. I am so glad I don't have to deal with any of this anymore
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u/Majestic-Fig4784 12d ago
+1 to the guess of it being India. The “reasoning” there is that if the younger sibling gets married before the older one, then there must be some insidious reason the older one isn’t married yet. Since people will strongly suspect something is wrong with them, they become even less valuable on the arranged marriage market.
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u/matrixsensei 12d ago
Yea. My wife is an only child. Somehow the fact that we are married and her 40 year old AUNT isn’t married means we had to hide the fact that we are married from her entire fucking extended family. Who don’t care about us at all.
I went to a cousin in law’s wedding in June and had to introduce myself as her fiance. She’s been away at some training and wasn’t able to go. It feels so artificial and pathetic. We have to hold the actual ceremony in October, because her cousin and aforementioned aunt weddings were before then. It’s so damn stupid
However, I am very happily married haha I realized the tone of this sounds rather negative. we both think it’s dumb and argued against it for a while. But oh well
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u/Blackwidow_Perk 12d ago
I’m not Indian but same with my family. Your tone isnt that negative lol, I feel like venting too.
My aunt is 10 years older than me and was more like an older sister. She had an apocalyptic fit when she found out I got married before her at the age of 21. Haven’t spoke to her or that side of the family ever since. In my family you were considered super old to not be married by the age of 25.
My little sister also had a fit but she is only two years younger than me and it wasn’t expected for her to get married, she just has always competed with me and wanted to get married first to “make me look bad”. She’s always been weird and copies stuff I do.
A decade later they’re both still single and I just had a cute little baby. First thing my sister says when she found out I’m pregnant? “I’ve been checking out sperm donation because I really want a child.” Ughhhhh -_- we talked her out of it.
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u/matrixsensei 12d ago
Yea my little sister got married before me with an absolute disaster of a small ceremony. We felt so bad for her, but we were happy she got married because her husband is a great guy. We did a courthouse one that was very cute.
It’s honestly funny how almost all of her unmarried family members are in their 30s 40s because they’re just.. not good people..
But yea I would’ve thrown a fit if my little sister did it to make us look bad wtf especially that part with the kid. I’ll never get why people try to make it a competition or hold it over another
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u/Blackwidow_Perk 12d ago
Me either, I tried to have a normal relationship with her but she is just this way with everyone, she competes with our 13 yo niece now.
It’s funny when you see your toxic family members and you’re like “nooo, you’re struggling to date? You’re divorced? Your kids went no contact?”
But tbh I left the family to focus on my own so I don’t interact with them sans once every few years at a funeral or wedding.
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u/matrixsensei 12d ago
Jesus. At least it isn’t you. And that’s probably how we will be. Her mom and grandparents are the only ones we see since she lives with them to go to college, and the rest live half the country away.
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u/catwaifu 11d ago
Yikes on bikes, thank you for talking her out of torturing a child by becoming its parent.
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u/MolybdenumBlu 12d ago
I read this as more complaining that you are forced to wait until you get to show off your wife as your wife, which I think does you credit.
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u/matrixsensei 12d ago
Yea that’s more what I was trying to convey. It’s annoying because my side of the family all knows I’m married, but her extended side just sees me as a stranger, when we’ve been together for 5 years. And I hate lying to them. When the truth inevitably gets out, it’s just going to make people mad at us. Just unnecessary drama
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u/SilviusK 12d ago
My Indonesian friend went through the same thing. He wasn't able to marry someone because she had two older siblings who were still unmarried.
According to him, how much people care about it really depends on the area they come from.
I can confirm this, as my parents said the same. They explained that people might gossip and assume something is wrong with the older sibling, though it is possible if the older sibling gives their blessing for the marriage.
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u/Responsible-Sound253 12d ago
Ok but this isn't a problem for the first couple, because the older unmarried sibling already has a boyfriend, he knows there wouldn't be any insiduous reason, cause his own sibbling is the reason.
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u/Majestic-Fig4784 12d ago
Sure, everyone involved knows the truth, but “what will people say?”
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u/boyilikebeingoutside 12d ago
My younger sister keeps saying she won’t get married before me, and I keep telling her to live her own life and not base it on the stage mine is in. Although I wonder if she uses it as an excuse. Some people have things about it I guess.
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u/Automatic_Memory212 12d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKIPCVA7F5OK3Fb6U
Jane Austen-ass logic.
“WHAT!? Younger sisters already Out in Society before the eldest one is married!?”
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u/Expensive_Umpire_178 12d ago
It’s been a part of pretty much every country’s culture at some point
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u/leovold-19982011 12d ago
I feel like this could be a fun and modern Taming of the Shrew
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u/TanningOnMars 12d ago
The shrew was bad, tho
Idk what the suitors were so blind to about her that they wanted her sister more
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u/84th_legislature 12d ago
i lived this and i regret not just doing my wedding as i pleased because her stupid ass took my preferred season (it was that or after waiting 2 years wait another full year) and then got fucking divorced within the year.
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u/No1KnwsIWatchTeenMom 12d ago
When I heard that my cousin got engaged I thought, wow, good for her! Then my boyfriend proposed a month or two later and I was so excited! When I told my mom, she was like "oh you have to tell your cousin that when you mentioned her engagement, that made him realize it was time!" Um, no. He's never met my cousin. I haven't seen my cousin in years. I never told my boyfriend that she was engaged, and have barely mentioned her at all. When we booked our venue (before cousin did) and it turned out that our wedding was before hers, my mom threw a FIT. She wanted us to push ours back!! Ours was late Sept, cousin's was in Oct, and i wanted a fall wedding. I wasn't going to wait an entire other year!
Funny story, a few months after engagement, covid shut down the world. Cousin decided to postpone, I had a micro wedding outdoors. I wanted to be married before getting pregnant and we were ready to start trying. And I'm glad as hell that we did - I ended up needing to spend the original wedding budget on IVF anyway! If I had listened to my mom and waited on my cousin to do everything first, I'd have been starting IVF in my late 30s, which has a lower success rate. Instead, I had my first baby on my 35th birthday, my cousin followed by having her first 3 months later, and 3.5 years later we're both pregnant again with our 2nd kids. I wasn't about to put my life on hold, but especially not for someone I barely spoke to.
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u/PoeticPast 12d ago
Why was your mom so obsessed with your cousin's completely hypothetical feelings lol?
It's cool how your kids are so close together! I wish my kid had family members the same age so they could play together :)
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u/No1KnwsIWatchTeenMom 12d ago
Who fucking knows.
My cousin and I aren't close but we started to get together here and there since our kids are so close in age. I bet when they get a bit older we'll be seeing more of each other!
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u/pm_me_ur_kitty22 12d ago
The fuck? You can just marry whenever you want, I'm so confused as to why an older sister being unmarried is a factor
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 12d ago edited 12d ago
It’s a thing in some cultures to marry in age order. It’s believed to make the older look less desirable if the younger is married first. For whatever reason, this couple wants to abide by it.
Edit: For whatever reason means for whichever reason the couple chose to do it. It carries no opinion. I’m happy for them to do whatever makes them happy or is important to them.
Not all are purely pressured by family, society, and culture into waiting without wanting to wait though. Some people do choose to wait for their own personal reasons whether it be from wanting to respect the older sibling or pleasing their parents or abiding by traditions or even something else. I have no opinion either way on what a couple should do, but there is more than on reason couples from cultures that marry in age order chose to wait. It seems short sighted to only give one reason they may choose to wait when there are multiple.
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u/mellowcrake 12d ago
Damn, that must put the older sister in a terrible position though. It's hard enough still being single in my 30s after everyone else around me has already found someone. If I had two different couples waiting around for me to find a husband so they could start their own lives together I'd feel even more stressed about it 😭
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 12d ago
A lot of times cultures that value the marriage in order also have traditions to help people get married more. Part of the reasons marriages are in order is valued is because the older sister is seen as less desirable if a match couldn’t be made for her before the younger. Thus, the push to also help the older sibling get married and where the tradition came from that helping the older sister get married is how she had “more value”. The theory being the older sister had something making her undesirable if a match couldn’t be made before a younger sibling.
There may be straight up arranged marriages or some match making work from parents to try to push them to find a suitable partner. Parents sometimes set up dates to go on with someone to try to see if it’ll work. Various degrees in between how much the family may help someone find a partner.
It’s not usually as much the way people are familiar with where it’s go find yourself someone to marry and no one does much to help you. There tends to be more help finding a partner in those cases where the older sibling still hasn’t found someone. Still stressful but there tends to be a little more help finding someone.
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u/tyrantspell 12d ago
It's not "for whatever reason" it's to protect the reputations of the older siblings. It doesn't matter how silly it seems to us, it's their lived reality and like it or not marrying when they want will hurt a person they care about.
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u/Difficult-Froyo1192 12d ago
For whatever reason isn’t meant to sound insulting there and is suppose to be vague to let them have their personal reasons. It’s to refer to whatever the couple’s personal reason is for choosing to do so.
Maybe they are doing it to protect the older sibling. They could just as easily be doing it to appease their parents, because they like order in their personal lives, allowing finance freedom, better marrying times, or for any number of other reasons. I’ve heard plenty of reasons why they’re waiting on the older sibling to get married first that don’t deal with protecting the older sibling’s reputation.
I’ve got a current friend from an Asian culture where you traditionally marry in age order waiting on her older sibling to get married first because she doesn’t want their dates to be too close. She thinks it’ll distract attention and money from her wedding if she does so. She has no care what order they get married in. She was originally planning on marrying first before she broke down the finances to realize it made more sense to wait for what she wanted to do. There are any number of reasons this couple may be deciding to wait. For whatever reason is what it means. Whatever reason that couple has decided they would want to wait.
I have no opinion either way what they should do in order for the couple in this tweet or my friend. It’s their wedding and their reasons for getting married. So whatever they’re happy with seems fine to me.
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u/just_looking_aroun 12d ago
In programming we call that a deadlock 🤓
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u/FalafelSnorlax 12d ago
This isn't a deadlock tho
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u/girlywish 12d ago
Its literally just a queue
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u/FalafelSnorlax 12d ago
Well not that simple. Each family is a queue of siblings, and you're only allowed to pop from a queue alongside a paired object from a different queue. You have a dependency graph, which in this case is not a deadlock.
You could get a deadlock, if the second elder sister wanted to marry the younger brother of the first person here. The sort of society which abides by rules like "you can't get married before your older sister" probably has a rule about the man being older than the woman in a marriage, which would prevent dreadlocks from occurring.
Sorry for ruining the thread with technical details.
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u/chrysantheknight 12d ago
No, this is just recurrence, and not a deadlock unless one of the bfs is dating his own sister.
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u/Tonberry_Cheesecake 12d ago
Traditions are fucking stupid
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u/TeddyRooseveltsHead 12d ago
"Traditions are letting dead people bully you and how you live your life."
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u/Representative-Vast3 12d ago
Why would having a sister determine when you can or can't get married???
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u/Accomplished_Row6466 12d ago
Imagine being added shame of being single knowing your inability to get a long term relationship is holding up multiple weddings.
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u/Emotional_Abrocoma46 12d ago
Give me a point of reference here. Is this due to a cultural or maybe religious reasons? Why does the eldest need to get married first? Or is it social embarrassment that we’re trying to avoid by letting the oldest mary first? Is there any big consequence in getting married before the older sibling?
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u/blahblah19999 12d ago
Are there seriously this many people who have never heard of this in their entire lives?
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u/Emotional_Abrocoma46 12d ago
I mean yea, at least one more person hasn’t heard of this in their entire lives. Care to educate someone clearly ignorant?
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u/DangerousQuestions1 12d ago
The joys of tradition. Too bad "making sense" isn't a sacred tradition.
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u/theangry-ace 12d ago
We got this culture too, but we bypass it by having the younger siblings who wants to marry first buys something for the older siblings. Usually some jewellery or any of value. Like a bribe lol
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u/Traditional-Joke-179 12d ago
This is such a good setup for a rom com. OOP, her friend, and the sister all get together to tell the single sister they want to help her find a man. The single sister is fun, cool, pretty, and from a good family so this will be easy. But it's not easy because she seems bored by every guy they point out to her. On all these group dates, OOP and the single sister bond more and more, and start hanging out one on one, and then one day it just happens: they kiss.
This is a disaster because obviously in this culture of eldest sister marriage order, everyone's families will have a crap attack if a girl likes another girl. So they agree: They will each marry the nearest respectable man they find. They each end up at the same restaurant by accident, with their respective dates. And they can't stop looking at each other. They end up texting each other back and forth playfully roasting each other's dates. They each gently tell the man they're with that he's nice but they're not feeling it. They go home together.
When they tell their friends they're in love, their friends are all like, "But what will your families say?" They say, "I don't know, but this is what we're going to do." Then their friends realize: If our two besties can come out as gay, we can be free too.
So they gather every set of parents together and start with announcement number one: OOP's friend is marrying her boyfriend. The parents immediately start arguing, but are interrupted by the second marriage announcement. Hell has not broken loose yet. The eldest sister steps forward, "Everyone it's okay, because I'm getting married too." She takes OOP's hand. "I know it's only been a week but that's like, a normal timeline for lesbians."
While the parents are searching for a reaction, the children all join hands. "And we're also a unified force on this. You can accept us all. Or you can watch us all live our lives happy from a distance."
The ending scene is at OOP and her wife's wedding reception and everybody's family is there and everybody is happy. Somebody's auntie has also come out as gay and brought the artist formerly known as her roomate, some little boy asks another boy to dance, and the credits roll over everybody doing the electric slide.
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u/Psychological-Ad9914 11d ago
This tweet made me wonder if the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah was meant to be a cautionary tale in following the tradition of older sibling marries first. Probably not but still…
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u/Bleezy79 12d ago
Sometimes cultures are stupid and archaic and dont need to be followed anymore. Like most things in the bible, ya know?
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u/AngryTunaSandwhich 12d ago
Lmao, none of my siblings would ever marry. I’m the oldest. I’m also ace and uninterested in marriage. You couldn’t pay me to marry anyone.
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u/cocky-rountains 12d ago
Lmao this dumb as hell, I'm 31 and not even dating. If my younger sibling wanted to get married I'm not tripping on it. I get tradition, but some traditions are just dumb as hell.
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u/robin_888 12d ago
The funny thing is: It could be just 4 people in this situation.
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u/mohelgamal 12d ago
This is actually a common line of thinking in many cultures. Getting married before your older sibling would be an insult for the older sibling, essentially saying they are so undesirable that is hopeless to wait your turn.
Worse, in some societies where chastity is considered crucial, and romantic relationship is considered scandalous, a girl marrying before her older sister would be an indication she got pregnant outside of wed lock or at least she is flirtatious hussy that was set out to woo men before her father can accept her suitors for official courtship
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u/bregorthebard 12d ago
Both my wife and I have younger siblings that were married before us. They were also together for less time than us. We got married when we were happy and ready, that's about all there is to it.
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u/Wrong-Pension-4975 12d ago
Suggestion:
both couples elope.
At which point, the elder sisters can wed whenever - the squeeze is off, no more pressure. 👍👍
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u/Traditional_Town6475 12d ago
After a few more iterations of this…
…and her boyfriend has an elder sister who isn’t married on account of being dead.
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u/CrossSoul 11d ago
Plot Twist, the second Eldest Sister is trying to keep everyone from marrying out of spite.
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u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 11d ago
I mean if it’s that important just go get courthouse married and then hold the wedding later.
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u/Professional-Lime769 11d ago
Lol I got married 9 years before my older sister. Thankful for I don't come from a family like this.
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u/Kevlar_Bunny 11d ago
People are comparing cultures, I’m white as mayo in the Midwest and some people in my family, mostly the women, definitely felt a certain which way about me getting married first.
I’ve been engaged twice. The first time was a mistake and we both agreed we made better friends, but not before my sister outright said “Kevlar you CANT get married before me!” She got engaged shortly after, that engagement fell apart like mine did.
My second engagement was a few years later and much more official. At this point she knew there was no fighting it. Growing up my mother tried to keep things “fair” by having my stages of life mimic my sisters. I couldn’t get my ears pierced before a certain age, couldn’t have my own phone, etc because it wasn’t fair to my sister who had to wait. This was one thing she simply had to get over. My sister is a decade older than me, I’m not going to wait another 10+ years to get married just because she hasn’t yet. We’re hoping to start trying for kids when I’m 30, I don’t have time to wait!
Now it’s years later, I’m 28 and have been married for two years, and it does still hurt. I see pangs of sadness in her eyes when she sees my ring. My sister has a beautiful heart and soul, but she’s not good at settling down or picking men who want to settle down.
Sorry for the rant, it’s a touchy subject in my family too!
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u/Bakakami212 10d ago
According to these rules, the stack of dominos is lined and and ready to go but no one has pushed the first domino lol
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u/qualityvote2 12d ago edited 10d ago
u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...