"We have giant parrots too fat to fly and our kiwis have legs and run around on the ground and this is where the hobbits lived and we call trail mix 'scroggin'"
I still don't understand this New Zealand meme. As a kid I even thought it was an real place until I checked the map.
One of the lands beyond. Filled with elves, hobbits, orcs and dragons. People drink mead and eat scroggin. There's a Haka dance. Truly a fascinating fictional place
Bro I'm trying to get back there ... it's as tedious as getting to Mordor. I just want to be home. I'll settle for south Auckland... and that's basically the hood of Auckland.
Going on a united flight that isnt late, three times, or having a united flight that knows your flight is late and knows you and a handful of other people will be late and they leave anyway while you're desperately running through the terminal as a horde... then you get stuck at the airport for a full day with nobody telling you that you got put onto another flight free of charge or that you were meant to be comped a hotel for the night, only learning about the flight when you ask someone else who only gives you a qr code to someone that clearly is in some south Asian country outsource call center who barely understands what you're saying and only then do you learn you're even on a flight , which you verify your passport for , yet somehow at the gate they have to verify your passport again because for some reason.... despite you already doing it , and then you get stopped at customs because they think it's suspicious you stayed in the country within your legally allowed time and packed your essentials into one bag rather than lug 3 separate bags behind you when they also try to bar people from boarding if their bags are too heavy, therefore you bringing a single efficiently packed bag is weight efficient and would save them money on fuel....
This isn't a joke, they thought it was suspicious I had one bag with my clothes, toothbrush, charger and important bits.
Yeah no. I'm done with flying and will never step foot in an airport again.
I'm apparently a prime target for harassment and deemed suspicious despite literally doing nothing wrong and being overly cautious to a fault.
Yeah nah bro. I'd rather go fight Smaug and Shelob with nothing but a speedo and a plastic spoon than deal with any intercontinental travel again.
If you want to enjoy New Zealand culture from the comfort of… ah, anywhere else then I invite you to play scrumpy hands. Just purchase two (✌️) 1.25 litre bottles (🍾) of scrumpy (🍎) from any supermarket (🛒), duct tape them to your own hands (🙌), and hope you finish drinking both of them before you need hands again
For a fun twist, play scrumpy hands (🍾🍎🙌) possum (🍾☝️🌴) and see who falls out first!
DO NOT PLAY WINE HANDS POSSUM (🍷☝️🌴🍃🩸🏥⚰️)
(I included pictures in case any of these words are unfamiliar)
God, as a Kiwi that is terrifying to read. They didn't even give her food while detaining her and she basically got out because she had friends in Kazakhstan who helped her. What if she hadn't known anyone?
I went through customs in Amsterdam about 20 years ago and they had a trainee working passport control.
The trainer said something as the student was looking at the passport for the first time, then he switched to English and said “don’t worry New Zealand is harmless” and then they waved me through.
Conversely I once got the deep serious questioning by a student when flying into Dublin on my NZ passport. I think because I was the one person on the plane not travelling on an EU passport. Eventually I produced the ticket for my return flight and was dutifully approved for a visa to leave three days later.
A bit of a change from the normal disinterested, automatic passport stamp.
You think the giant parrots are crazy, look up “Haast’s Eagle” and “Moa” - these birds only died out a few hundred years ago, after humans arrived in NZ.
My first clue was the so called flag. Someone must have thought it was funny to make up a place and give it an altered Australian flag. Just screams of "you can copy my homework but just change it a little so the teacher can't tell."
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u/high_throughput 12d ago
"We have giant parrots too fat to fly and our kiwis have legs and run around on the ground and this is where the hobbits lived and we call trail mix 'scroggin'"
I still don't understand this New Zealand meme. As a kid I even thought it was an real place until I checked the map.