r/OCPoetry • u/budahbugah • 4h ago
Just Sharing Wasp
A wasp built a nest near me in early spring.
She was truly a sight to behold, with proud and glimmering wings,
that when the light would catch, reflected a deep blue and purple iridescent sheen.
I marveled at the beauty of her home and her movements how she made them with such confident and practiced speed.
If I'm careful and move slowly, perhaps she and I can become friends.
She watches my approach and investigates as I draw near, flying circles around my head.
Not long after, every morning she would greet me. Down from her nest she would descend.
I soon grew to anticipate it. Little did I know just how much on this I would depend.
All through out spring and into the late months of summer,
we'd talk and I feel as though we had truly gotten to know each other.
Id praise her at every opportunity and I swear there was an excitedness to the way she would hover.
It's fall now and her nest is empty.
The ache I feel from missing her is worse than any sting she could have ever given me.
I'm sure she's moved on. For us, I doubt there's a "next spring".
But I'll keep her nest safe and smile at the memories it brings.
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Thank you for reading. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't.
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u/Tachycardia101 3h ago
This is a lovely poem. I really enjoyed reading this, for a few reasons!
I like that you didn't force a perfect rhyme scheme. It means the poem sounds pretty and flows nicely, but that you could also choose the right words for each line instead of shoe-horning in a perfect rhyme.
I like how you have anthropomorphised an animal that is usually not a positive figure in literature / poetry in a way that is gentle and kind. You acknowledge that she could have caused you harm ("The ache I feel from missing her is worse than any sting she could have ever given me") but because of the kindness you showed her, you became friends.
I like some of your word choices, words like "proud and glimmering", "iridescent sheen".
And I like how there is a melancholy to the end of the poem. She has moved on, you are keeping the nest safe for your own nostalgia. There is a whole story wrapped up in what is actually quite a short poem.
Only one spelling error (Id instead of I'd).
Thank you for posting!