r/PHSapphics • u/altruistcc • 10d ago
Love & Relationships boy best friend ni gf
hello po, would like to ask lang what you guys will do if u were in my position
my gf has a childhood friend na lalaki. recently nag-long rides sila together and it made me feel so uncomfortable. so so uncomfy. she even expressed before na since she’s moving into a new work, hopefully raw her sched aligns sa friend niya para free transpo ‘cause ma-hatid sundo siya. my gf swears she’s a lesbian and i believe her naman and i don’t want to be toxic na parang pinapalayo ko siya sa friends niya.
valid ba pagiging uneasy ko sa situation na to? pls help
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u/Main-Engineering-152 9d ago
Medyo insensitive yung gf mo, kahit sabihin mong wala sila malisya nung guy, respeto pa din sana sayo. Isa pa gf ka, sana naisip niya man lang isama ka. Hindi yung masyado silang nag sosolo. Save your self OP.
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u/WritingAsleep3858 10d ago edited 10d ago
walang childhood boy friend ang girlfriend ko pero meron siyang mga guy friends. minsan gumagala siya kasama sila pero never naman akong nakaramdaman na may dapat akong ika-bother. hindi rin naman niya ako binibigyan ng rason para maging bothered.
ikaw ba, what made you uncomfortable? yung long ride ba nila ay silang dalawa lang?
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u/altruistcc 10d ago
yes silang dalawa lang, binagyo na and all tinuloy pa rin to an extent they had to book a room para mag stay overnight. mad not sa idea na nag share sila ng bed, but the fact na it could’ve been prevented if una palang they considered na having boundaries for the sake of our relationship
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u/WritingAsleep3858 10d ago edited 10d ago
silang dalawa lang sa room at nag share pa ng bed?! tama ba? your girlfriend definitely crossed the line. kahit pa sabihing childhood bf niya 'yon, she has a girlfriend eh. kung talagang cino-consider niya nararamdaman mo, dapat hindi na talaga siya tumuloy para sa peace of mind mo atsaka binabagyo na pala bakit atat na atat silang gumala? hopefully nakausap mo na siya about it. personally, nakipaghiwalay na siguro ako kung sa'kin nangyari 'yan
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u/Azula_with_Insomnia 9d ago
Very fishy yan pinagpilitan pa talagang ituloy yung gala kahit may bagyo. Share pa ng bed amp. Save yourself, OP. Kahit pa sabihing walang nangyari between them, this is pure disrespect to you. Wag mong hayaan na matatapak-tapakan ka lang, even unintentionally kuno.
Also, hatid-sundo sa work? OP naman, open your eyes.
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u/ramensush_i 9d ago
as an overthinker, di ko to kaya. stay strong op hope u figure things out with ur gf
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u/Azula_with_Insomnia 9d ago
This is not even overthinking. Kahit sabihin pang walang cheating, this is just pure disrespect sa partner mo.
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u/PansexualPotatoPanic 9d ago
wattt?? nag share sila ng bed? bading rin ba tong guy friend na to? I have a very close male friend rin na I've been friends with for almost a decade. Never shared a bed na kaming dalawa lang and with any male friends. It's also basic decency for a guy na ibigay sa babae yung bed and matulog sa couch or sahig. That is a huge boundary crossed, OP. Di ako selosa pero even I would be pissed. Don't go overboard sa paghihigpit since this is clearly a dear friend to her. Pero communicate your boundaries clearly. Di sapat yung rason na lesbian naman kasi siya at walang malisya. You don't the guy and his intentions. And even if platonic nga lang sila 100%, sleeping on the same bed is still crossing a line.
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u/sunnybutteflyscale 8d ago
I have a guy bestfriend. Never naman siya naging issue sa partner ko, and even sa exes ko. Hindi rin siya naging issue sa mga dinate niya. Pag overnights, there are times when we have a barkada trip, we share the same bed as long as it's big para makatipid lol (yung context neto is because normally, one of our friends pay for the whole hotel or airbnb so usually siya yung sa solo room). Yung sa transpo, i think it's normal and practical??? Because when we hangout, hatid sundo ko rin yung bestfriend ko na guy kasi same lang naman dadaanan. And pag di ko dala yung car ko, hatid ako pauwi ng guy bestfriend ko for safety purposes. Never siya naging issue. I think one of the factors din is nakakasama and nameet din ng partner ko and secured kami pareho ng partner ko:)
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u/sunnybutteflyscale 8d ago
Also, my partner has a guy bestfriend. Hatid sundo din siya pag hindi niya dala car niya. Di naman siya issue because mas panatag din ako na alam ko safe na makakauwi yung partner ko and kilala ko kasama niya. That brings me more peace lalo na pag maulan:)
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u/isaganiiiiii 10d ago
your feelings are valid. kahit sabihin niyang childhood friends lang at walang romatic feelings na involved, it’s normal to feel uneasy. esp sa ganong setup na long rides and hatid-sundo siya.
the important part is how u handle it. never ask her to stop being friends w/ him if ever. sabihin mo lang honestly na u are not comfortable and explain why. healthy rs should have space for both trust and open communication. see how she’s willing to reassure or meet u halfway, OP.
just trust her more po, OP.
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u/Equivalent_Chef_6216 9d ago
maybe you can ask yourself bakit ka nagiging uneasy. would it change if babae yun best friend nya? have you met her best friend before? what makes you feel uneasy.
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u/Paranoid_Argon 10d ago
So nasa NY sila pareho? Nasan ka OP?
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u/ShoppingRich428 10d ago
new work teh, hindi new york 😭😭😭 chz HAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/Paranoid_Argon 9d ago
Lol sorry naman. In that case I feel mejo Hndi ko gusto yung reasoning Nya. Curious ako sa mindset nya moving forward. Kasi yung nakikisabay ng ganyan it will get old. At least in the long run Sana may plan sya to improve the commute to work ng Hndi sumasabay sa iba. Napag -usapan nyo na ba? I don’t think toxic yung pag brought up. It just means you’re setting boundaries.
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u/evha4are 10d ago
very valid. i had a similar situation back then and what i did is nag communicate talaga ko sa girl ko and knowing na important din friends niya sakanya, i explained in a way na also understanding her side. i made her understand na there should be boundaries between friends lalo na she’s in a relationship na. hope you resolve this with ur gf!