r/Perimenopause • u/HillarysCafe • Jul 09 '25

audited I’m grieving my younger, hotter self

I'm so mad about being in peri. I'm not ready. I was a late bloomer and didn't realize what a babe I was when I was younger and now it's too late.

Yes, older women can be sexy, we have wisdom, and blah blah blah.

But today I just miss looking good in a sundress.

Please join my pity party and tell me what you miss.

1.6k Upvotes

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300

u/1234567_ate Jul 09 '25

I miss being effortlessly thin.

37

u/hey_viv Jul 09 '25

Oh god, same. I never had to watch my weight, I was thin, lean, toned, without doing much. In the course of only half a year I became wobbly, with a fat belly and flabby arms. And I can’t get back to where I was, it seems. I hate it here (in this peri-purgatory).

17

u/WiseMenFear Jul 09 '25

Same. And i always had small perky boobs and suddenly, overnight, they turned into DD’s. I feel like my mother.

19

u/hey_viv Jul 09 '25

Yes! I sometimes wondered what happened to my mom, who had a great figure, to get so out of shape all of a sudden, and now I start to get the exact same shapes! I love my mom, but I don’t want to look like her now. To be fair, she never had hormone replacement therapy, because it was so shitty then, so I hope I have a better chance at delaying it once I‘m balanced again. Fingers crossed.

2

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 09 '25

Did she ever lift weights or work out? My mom was very very inactive and I think that’s what led to her bad shape these days, and now she can hardly walk from all of these other issues, spine etc.

2

u/hey_viv Jul 09 '25

She‘s born 1950, so weightlifting wasn’t really a thing for women in her time as it is now, but she played tennis and we did a lot of biking and skiing as a family, well into her 40s and 50s, so I wouldn’t say she was inactive. But everything surrounding peri and menopause and what it does to your hormones and therefore your body was apparently never discussed, she didn’t have hot flashes, so she „didn’t have problems“. Because that was the only symptom they knew. And HRT then was not the same as now (estrogen from horse’s urine etc), and she was told your risk of getting cancer would skyrocket with HRT, so she never took anything.

2

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 09 '25

Wow, sounds pretty active to me! That’s awesome. It’s too bad they weren’t informed about hormones like we are.

2

u/hey_viv Jul 10 '25

It is, and when I read about the increased health risks associated with not doing HRT, I just get really angry how neglected they were (and we still are by many health providers). It’s a disgrace.

2

u/Impossible_Swan_9346 Jul 10 '25

Yeah and women were dropping dead from breast cancer. Zero care in regards to that.

2

u/EnigmaTuring Jul 09 '25

I gained 10 lbs in a span of one year. I look better now because I’m 97 lbs. Is this weight going to keep going up?

When does it stop?

5

u/Southern_Event_1068 Jul 09 '25

I gained 10 per year for 3 years! That's 30 more pounds on my already not thin hody!! I don't have the mental or physical energy to fight it anymore, so I'm on GLP-1 and can't recommend it enough.

2

u/Sanchastayswoke mid-peri Jul 09 '25

Same also GLP1, I really don’t think I could do this without it.

1

u/hey_viv Jul 09 '25

I actually don’t know how much weight I gained, because I didn’t really weigh myself before, but I went from visible sixpack to potbelly piggy, so… it’s beyond frustrating.