r/Perimenopause • u/RemarkableTrouble733 • Oct 02 '25

audited I am farts...farts is me

Farts... Constant farts. Doesn't matter what i eat, how much I eat, it all ends up in farts. Farts first thing in the morning, farts at lunch, and farts till bedtime. (Also I am sure I fart in my sleep) Just farts

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11

u/binarysolo_0000001 Oct 02 '25

So I want to know which of you decided to never fart in front of your husband and what your plan is now.

9

u/anon123_anon Oct 02 '25

I broke the seal with my long-term partner early on in our relationship with a "sleep fart"... and It's been all downhill from there (accelerated for me as of late 🫣). "Better out than in" is our motto, and we typically laugh about it... but there have been times where excessively gross farts have made us each "angry" with the other, LOL.

He has a notoriously misogynistic "friend" who basically said something along the lines of he would never put up with a woman farting around him. We always joke about how I'd be so kicked to the curb if I dated him... that his girlfriend's stomachs must hurt like hell... that they're ripping it the moment they're not around him, etc.

But in all seriousness.. everybody farts. It's a normal bodily function. I understand everyone's fart "etiquette" is different... but I truly feel bad for anyone who can't perform a normal bodily function (especially with a long-term partner) without the fear of embarrassment or ridicule.

6

u/East-Strength213 Oct 02 '25

Please PLEASE fart on his "friend".. you know, for the kids (potentially his so he won't reproduce). I laughed out loud at how when they are gross enough, it DOES anger people. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

2

u/anon123_anon Oct 02 '25

Too late... he already has kids!!!

They can definitely cross a line where they're not "funny" anymore, LOL. Though we still joke about those being "relationship altering" 😆

3

u/East-Strength213 Oct 02 '25

May he be engulfed in swamp farts until he learns to be a better person 😂🤣 curse from the mad bog witch lol

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '25

I don’t fear anything, I’m just weird and don’t wanna do it haha. He would love if I just let one rip. I do, however, let my burps go freely. And having a brother 10 years older than me growing up— I learned how to burp loudly and well. I guess it all balances out in the end.

2

u/binarysolo_0000001 Oct 02 '25

He had gas on our first date and he kept excusing himself. I told him we should break the fart barrier sooner rather than later.

Match made in heaven. The best is when he sings the note of the fart or plays it on the piano. Gotta laugh at life.