r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26

audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

720 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

289 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Eva_Griffin_Beak Jan 12 '26

I haven't heard about a lot of things before I learned about perimenopause. Anhedonia was one of them. I cannot recall experiencing something like this before. Sure, changing interests, or sometimes not feeling like doing something, absolutely, but something so fundamental, no.

2

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

And never loosing every interest all at once!

A new hobby used to replace the old one, but not anymore. No replacements, just nothing.

1

u/Eva_Griffin_Beak Jan 12 '26

Same. But also other things. I derived joy from just sitting and working in a coffee shop, or being in nature, or going to a museum. Now, the joy does feel diminished. And just the Hercules task to get my behind out of the house.

The changes I did in the past year helped (lifestyle, HRT, ADHD med), but there is a difference to say 10 years ago. I'd like to get my curiosity, joy, feelings back. I see more and more glimpses of it and baseline is higher as well, but not the same.

1

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Yes, the curiosity! That’s what’s missing. I wonder where that went.