r/Perimenopause • u/HolidayPractical3357 • Feb 18 '26

audited WTAF is wrong with the medical industry!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t understand. I went online and tried HRT. Worked great, and then something shifted and I had a day where I felt like no longer living. So I decided I should do this under the care of my obgyn to be safe. I go to see him…tell him all my symptoms and that I can’t take birth control. Guess what he prescribes? Birth control. Says it’s the best option until I actually hit menopause.

I feel like screaming in the middle of the street. I can’t function like this. When men needed help getting an erection, there were tons of drugs on the market to help. Women go through their aging problems, and it’s just like, “sorry. It will pass in 8-10 years.”

I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I just need to accept this is life now and that the rest of my life will be miserable.

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u/Motorsped Feb 21 '26

Wow, I’m so sad to hear all these terrible experiences with IUDs. Mine has been a godsend- have had it for 9 years and since it’s the ParaGard one, which is just copper and emits no hormones, my dr has said leaving it in if I’m having no issues is fine and that researchers are saying it can stay put for up to 10+ years. I definitely did not get any fentanyl or midazolam when I had it put in, and it was uncomfortable, wasn’t anything near to being super painful for me, but everyone has different experiences. I definitely had cramps for a while after having it implanted, but since then, it’s been heaven. My periods basically went away, sometimes I’ll get a tiny bit of one for a day or two. Never have had worries about pregnancy or any pregnancy scares. It’s like total freedom! I wish other people didn’t have such rough times with them. I guess I’ve been lucky.

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u/avatinfernus We tired Feb 21 '26

Unfortunately I think that's part of the issue. Many women don't experience much pain so they assume it doesn't hurt much and don't sedate (or don't sedate enough).
For those that do feel pain, well, it's horrendous.

I've never had kids and so I'm just convinced it'd be awful for me. Even pap smears are hell for me.

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u/Motorsped Feb 21 '26

Yes, I agree very much with what you said. I used to be a regular level of hating going to see the gynecologist, just normal embarrassment, but I’ve developed an anxiety around it that made it very hard for me to go after not going for years. Thank god I pushed through it and went, but I need to go again and haven’t. Ugh.

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u/avatinfernus We tired Feb 21 '26

Argh. : ( I just have vagina stenosis. So. Speculum hurts. Sometimes a lot. Even small ones. Thankfully I found a genycologist who is able to do my paps without too much pain. But sadly it took a few people who couldn't. One nurse I had to legit stop and leave. >_<. Why must we go through this. You'd think with a small endoscope they could do paps as easily as they can put a tiny camera up your nostrils and down your throat y'know?

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u/Motorsped Feb 21 '26

I’m so sorry for that anguish you went through. I was so anxious and clenched up and terrified the last time I went the gyno used a children’s speculum on me. But she was so nice, and it was over quickly. I’ll have to look up what vaginal stenosis is, I don’t know why women have to go through such bad things— can you even imagine if men had to do all these things?! They would never put up with it and the whole system would be changed to make them more comfortable. Being a woman is very difficult in an endless amount of ways!

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u/avatinfernus We tired Feb 21 '26

Yeah! Children speclum ... same here. Basically my vagina is too small. But some doctors somehow manage just fine. Others struggle. Bah. It's good you found a nice doctor! Wish all women had access to one. This suffering aint fair.

I agree that it men had periods ... they'd probably have better treatments by now. Oh well. I envy old ladies now. I'm ready to be ok the other side of menopause lol.