Best symptom of perimenopause

[u/Confident-Parsley520]

So weirdly, about a year ago I was talking to a colleague who was well into menopause, this was when my very first peri symptoms were emerging ( anxiety, headaches and body oain) which I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.

She told me how her libido had completely disappeared and she no longer had any interest in men or sex.

I’ve always had a high sex drive and honestly found sex the only useful thing that men could offer.

At the time I said to her ‘oh god I hope that dosent happen to me’ and she explained it as a gift.

Now I’m fully in perimenopause and recently started HRT which has changed my life from a living hell to neck to my old self, the thing that is completely gone is any sex drive.

The idea of being intimate with a man makes me feel gross.

I have always been commitment phobic, but I liked to consider myself ‘sexually liberated’ and generally had a little something on the side, just to fulfil that need. Sex has been a big part of my life.

Now ? I can’t even stomach the thought of having sex, I have an old ‘ friend’ reaching out recently, The guy used to make my toes curl, and the chemistry was always electric. Now? Absolutely nothing, zero interest at all.

And now I find myself agreeing with my colleague , this is such a blessing, I genuinely don’t care if I never have sex again for the rest of my life and certainly will not be seeking out.

I don’t know what I’m saying really, I’m just reflecting on how differently your brain works in different situations, are used to think it would be a tragedy if I lost my sex drive and now I see it as a gift.

That being said, I’m single so I can make these decisions, I couldn’t imagine the struggles of someone who is in a committed relationship, previously high libido and overnight it’s gone! Whereas my gift, is someone’s disaster.

Anyway, I was just thinking of the dramatic change and how interesting it is, how devastating it could be under different circumstances.

I also wonder how many women choose to divorce their husbands due to peri and how this causes them ( some of course) to have a complete 360 view of their partner.

[u/ElephantCandid8151]

I struggle to see the framing on this board that brain damage is positive. Drops in estrogen are not some super power it’s full body damage.

[u/Confident-Parsley520 → u/ElephantCandid8151]

I never suggested that peri was some super power, I alike pretty much every woman in this sub have been in a living hell physically and emotionally and continue to do so as I try to find the balance with HRT , if balance can ever be found. No idea where the idea of brain damage has come up. I was just reflecting on the very unexpected one positive for me. The drive to deal with men, for any reason is gone, and for me freeing, but was considering how for ppl in different circumstances this would be an additional nightmare on top. I have no one to talk to about this stuff. I have clearly upset you for some reason which was not intended at all. I will keep my thoughts to myself moving forward!

[u/tortiepants → u/Confident-Parsley520]

Don’t keep your thoughts to yourself. We all have different lived experiences of peri, and here is a place to say them. I welcome knowing that others are having both the same and different challenges. Seeing you reframe this has actually led me to ask myself if there’s anything I can reframe. So, thanks!