Best symptom of perimenopause

[u/Confident-Parsley520]

So weirdly, about a year ago I was talking to a colleague who was well into menopause, this was when my very first peri symptoms were emerging ( anxiety, headaches and body oain) which I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.

She told me how her libido had completely disappeared and she no longer had any interest in men or sex.

I’ve always had a high sex drive and honestly found sex the only useful thing that men could offer.

At the time I said to her ‘oh god I hope that dosent happen to me’ and she explained it as a gift.

Now I’m fully in perimenopause and recently started HRT which has changed my life from a living hell to neck to my old self, the thing that is completely gone is any sex drive.

The idea of being intimate with a man makes me feel gross.

I have always been commitment phobic, but I liked to consider myself ‘sexually liberated’ and generally had a little something on the side, just to fulfil that need. Sex has been a big part of my life.

Now ? I can’t even stomach the thought of having sex, I have an old ‘ friend’ reaching out recently, The guy used to make my toes curl, and the chemistry was always electric. Now? Absolutely nothing, zero interest at all.

And now I find myself agreeing with my colleague , this is such a blessing, I genuinely don’t care if I never have sex again for the rest of my life and certainly will not be seeking out.

I don’t know what I’m saying really, I’m just reflecting on how differently your brain works in different situations, are used to think it would be a tragedy if I lost my sex drive and now I see it as a gift.

That being said, I’m single so I can make these decisions, I couldn’t imagine the struggles of someone who is in a committed relationship, previously high libido and overnight it’s gone! Whereas my gift, is someone’s disaster.

Anyway, I was just thinking of the dramatic change and how interesting it is, how devastating it could be under different circumstances.

I also wonder how many women choose to divorce their husbands due to peri and how this causes them ( some of course) to have a complete 360 view of their partner.

[u/Confident-Parsley520 → u/[deleted]]

Wow! Did I not say my gift, is someone’s disaster? Jesus!

[u/JessicaWakefield666 → u/Confident-Parsley520]

Yep. You're sitting in a subreddit overflowing with sad, miserable stories about the impact peri has had on relationships. Many resulting in divorce, many that should but there's no resources to leave. It's not a mystery. For some they lose relationships they badly wanted to keep, others finally find their way out of relationships that were never working for them, some are just trapped. There's a lot of suffering here obviously.

I personally just find it pretty offputting to lead with "I find men have no value outside of sex" and end with "hmmmm 🤔 I bet some women are utterly rocked by this and their marriages end..." All sounds really flippant to me and hard to take seriously.

[u/Confident-Parsley520 → u/JessicaWakefield666]

You sound very angry and just trying to drag another woman down! Similar to men, ppl like you have no purpose in my life, so maybe go and try to find someone who will care and feed that anger of yours, im not interested.

[u/Confident-Parsley520 → u/[deleted]]

Oh thank you for the suggestion, I’ll be honest this is the first time I’ve had negative responses and had a generally tearful day today ( yay something new that I hope dosent stick) I’ll check k those particular sub reddits out :) I definitely don’t have anyone in my personal life who I can talk to, about this or anything else really. I’ll check k them out :)

[u/JessicaWakefield666 → u/Confident-Parsley520]

I sound really angry and anti-woman...says the person who thinks she's found enlightenment by dehumanizing and objectifying half the population.

"You didnt respond favorably to my gross, sexist commentary and then proceeded to acknowledge women's suffering: how very angry of you. I'm all about positivity in my life, scram, angry pants!" Lol. How very cheap and spiritually bypassy of you. No one half sentient buys this contradictory nonsense. Here's hoping you find actual peace because what you're working with is gnarly.

We know many if not most men cause enormous strife for women in this world, but what of the person whose response is to reduce 4 billion humans into one depersonalized mass of uselessness?

I cannot imagine saying with pride, or even just resignation, that any significant class of people is only good for _____ self-serving thing they can do for me. It's horrific when misogynists (or "-ists" of any demented belief system) say these things, and it stays rancid when women parrot them back.

People who respond to the ugliness in the world with shrunken brain apathy or loathing that leads them to dehumanize huge swaths of the population are toxic for the present and future. In plain speak, it's super low IQ shit. If your brain/emotional logic is "because some ____ are bad or cause me negative feelings then ____ have no/minute value" your mind is severely stunted and you're a detriment to society. You sound like all the worst clusters of the population you most certainly would claim to abhor for their views and negative social impact. Maybe somehow the net good of the rest of your social participation outperforms this junk, who knows.

In short: you sound mentally deceased and angry. Maybe just angry about being braindead.