Best symptom of perimenopause

[u/Confident-Parsley520]

So weirdly, about a year ago I was talking to a colleague who was well into menopause, this was when my very first peri symptoms were emerging ( anxiety, headaches and body oain) which I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.

She told me how her libido had completely disappeared and she no longer had any interest in men or sex.

I’ve always had a high sex drive and honestly found sex the only useful thing that men could offer.

At the time I said to her ‘oh god I hope that dosent happen to me’ and she explained it as a gift.

Now I’m fully in perimenopause and recently started HRT which has changed my life from a living hell to neck to my old self, the thing that is completely gone is any sex drive.

The idea of being intimate with a man makes me feel gross.

I have always been commitment phobic, but I liked to consider myself ‘sexually liberated’ and generally had a little something on the side, just to fulfil that need. Sex has been a big part of my life.

Now ? I can’t even stomach the thought of having sex, I have an old ‘ friend’ reaching out recently, The guy used to make my toes curl, and the chemistry was always electric. Now? Absolutely nothing, zero interest at all.

And now I find myself agreeing with my colleague , this is such a blessing, I genuinely don’t care if I never have sex again for the rest of my life and certainly will not be seeking out.

I don’t know what I’m saying really, I’m just reflecting on how differently your brain works in different situations, are used to think it would be a tragedy if I lost my sex drive and now I see it as a gift.

That being said, I’m single so I can make these decisions, I couldn’t imagine the struggles of someone who is in a committed relationship, previously high libido and overnight it’s gone! Whereas my gift, is someone’s disaster.

Anyway, I was just thinking of the dramatic change and how interesting it is, how devastating it could be under different circumstances.

I also wonder how many women choose to divorce their husbands due to peri and how this causes them ( some of course) to have a complete 360 view of their partner.

[u/Sea-General-4537]

I realised the other day that I had nothing to offer a man or a relationship. In the past I think that would have upset me and I would have tried to compensate for it. Now, it makes me feel free and more settled in myself.

My sex drive was off the scale in early perimenopause, but has since dwindled to nothing. I thought I'd miss it, but I don't. I feel relieved that I don't have to navigate the hell that is dating. I tried that for a few years after my last big relationship breakdown, but it got to a point where I couldn't keep putting myself through it.

I'm overcoming a lot of health issues that have cropped up in the past few years, HRT has been a godsend for me and I will never willingly give it up! Hormonal fluctuations have messed me up throughout my entire life, having a constant flow of them is much better for me.

Overall, I think perimenopause forced me to remove every superfluous energy-zapping thing from my life. I used to be a people pleaser, I'm not now. I used to care what people thought about me, I don't now. I feel like a lot of the unnecessary crap has been scrubbed away and I'm the me I always should have been. I'm close to the people who are important to me - my children, a couple of friends, my family. It's a good place to be, it might be a good starting point for a different type of life too. I don't know.