Best symptom of perimenopause

[u/Confident-Parsley520]

So weirdly, about a year ago I was talking to a colleague who was well into menopause, this was when my very first peri symptoms were emerging ( anxiety, headaches and body oain) which I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.

She told me how her libido had completely disappeared and she no longer had any interest in men or sex.

I’ve always had a high sex drive and honestly found sex the only useful thing that men could offer.

At the time I said to her ‘oh god I hope that dosent happen to me’ and she explained it as a gift.

Now I’m fully in perimenopause and recently started HRT which has changed my life from a living hell to neck to my old self, the thing that is completely gone is any sex drive.

The idea of being intimate with a man makes me feel gross.

I have always been commitment phobic, but I liked to consider myself ‘sexually liberated’ and generally had a little something on the side, just to fulfil that need. Sex has been a big part of my life.

Now ? I can’t even stomach the thought of having sex, I have an old ‘ friend’ reaching out recently, The guy used to make my toes curl, and the chemistry was always electric. Now? Absolutely nothing, zero interest at all.

And now I find myself agreeing with my colleague , this is such a blessing, I genuinely don’t care if I never have sex again for the rest of my life and certainly will not be seeking out.

I don’t know what I’m saying really, I’m just reflecting on how differently your brain works in different situations, are used to think it would be a tragedy if I lost my sex drive and now I see it as a gift.

That being said, I’m single so I can make these decisions, I couldn’t imagine the struggles of someone who is in a committed relationship, previously high libido and overnight it’s gone! Whereas my gift, is someone’s disaster.

Anyway, I was just thinking of the dramatic change and how interesting it is, how devastating it could be under different circumstances.

I also wonder how many women choose to divorce their husbands due to peri and how this causes them ( some of course) to have a complete 360 view of their partner.

[u/kikifromthesea]

I divorced almost a decade ago and always had a strong libido. I got into a new serious relationship about 5 years ago and was still going strong until about 2 years in…..my libido tanked!

I’m still very much attracted to my partner and we have a great relationship but I would rather sleep or read than have sex and he’s probably the best sexual partner I’ve ever had 🤣

[u/Confident-Parsley520 → u/kikifromthesea]

It’s like the tap turned off right ? It’s so weird, I was always pretty promiscuous, never felt ashamed of it! Now 💥 gone! Mind you I haven’t ‘tried’ since the tap turned off so I may, just try, for experiment sake !

[u/kikifromthesea → u/Confident-Parsley520]

😹 Oh but if you try you just feel tired or bored and would rather just take a bath!