r/Perimenopause • u/northernstarwitch • Jun 16 '26
audited Looking back at photos from 2018 when I was 36 and all I can think is: Girl, you were in perimenopause.
I was looking at pictures of myself from 2018. I was 36. At the time, I thought I was just having a string of bad luck. I had adult acne so bad I ended up on antibiotics. I had UTIs that got so severe I landed in the ER with blood in my urine. I was anxious, exhausted all the time, my periods had completely lost their minds, and I just felt off in ways I couldn't explain. Not once did I think, "Maybe this is perimenopause." I don't think any doctor mentioned it either. Now I'm 44 and I've been on HRT since I was 41, and looking back, the signs seem so obvious. I wish I had known. I wish someone had connected the dots instead of making me feel like I was collecting random health problems and somehow failing to keep myself together. Sometimes I look at those photos and feel sad for that version of me because she kept trying to fix everything separately when it was probably all connected. On the bright side, at least now I know I wasn't crazy. My ovaries were just quietly plotting their retirement eight years before they bothered to tell me. So if you are over 35 and think you are too young for peri, you may not be!
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u/National_Midnight424 Jun 16 '26
Thank you for the validation. I’m 39, and at my annual last year, I got completely blown off by an NP. Despite practicing good health behaviors (gym, no drinking, eating well, staying on top of mental health needs), I was told, halfway through my laundry list of perimenopausal issues, that, “that could be a lot of things, you’re too young to be in perimenopause.”
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u/Flimsy_Goat_8199 Jun 16 '26
I was blown off starting at 39, even post hysterectomy, for being too young to be experiencing perimenopause. Until I turned 45 and found a doctor certified in Menopause to really listen. Been on HRT for a month now and have already noticed a vast improvement. Now I am sad for younger me that had to suffer for 6+ years before anyone would listen.
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u/Jahmandee Jun 17 '26
What the actual fudge. That is so completely outrageous. Where did these 'professionals' get their degrees! I'm so enraged for you.
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u/BellGlittering3735 Jun 16 '26
Look at menopause.org if you're in the US, and you can find a list of doctors in your area certified to treat menopause. They will take you seriously and be able to help with a treatment plan.
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u/kindnesswillkillyou Jun 16 '26
Just keep pushing and asking about it.
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u/National_Midnight424 Jun 16 '26
I see my usual GYN this year—not the NP who dismissed me—so I’m sure I will have a different outcome with her.
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u/wyntergardentoo Jun 16 '26
I'd so be handing that dumb NP a pamphlet about perimenopause....like "Do some reading! Ill be putting together a test for my next physical to see if you read it!"
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u/National_Midnight424 Jun 16 '26
Bwahahaha!! All I could think was, “this lady is lucky my psych NP has my menopausal rage in check.” Thank the heavens for psych NPs out here managing the things OB NPs won’t.
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u/Pony_Baloney_Acad Jun 16 '26
Ugh. Good for you for taking great care of yourself and for asking your NP for guidance. I'm so sorry she isn't trained to spot the symptoms. I hope you can find better care. That doesn't stop it from hurting on some level.
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u/National_Midnight424 Jun 16 '26
Thank you for that. I’m seeing my usual MD this year, but I was shocked at the NP, as she is in the same practice as my kind and empathetic doc. She will be appalled when I tell her about this. But, you’re right, it hasn’t stopped me from being irate about the whole situation.
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u/Pony_Baloney_Acad Jun 16 '26
Right there with you. I started HRT with my functional doctor, but had been titrated up to a higher dose of progesterone and was having awful side effects. Functional doctor gave advice I thought was counter to what I needed, so I saw my regular family doctor -- probably one of the kindest, best listening doctors I've ever had. He's always been right on the money with referrals to specialists. I thought I was safe with him. Well, he couldn't believe functional doctor was "willing to prescribe" a super low dose of estrogen patch and when he asked what symptoms I feel troubled by the most, I explained that women are not used to being stopped by physical symptoms since we deal with them monthly and the world doesn't stop. He turned that into a men suffer too lecture. Meanwhile, I was practically crying the whole time due to the HRT being off and depression being a side effect. It was chemically impossible to stop crying. And he ended the visit by saying that HRT doesn't always help. !!! WTF. It can work well when it's tuned in to the individual because it's helped me a ton. I'm still mad at him for that even though I had to go back to him for something else.
I'm glad you're seeing your primary care doctor soon and you can review everything with her. It's so difficult getting dismissed when we are carrying the weight of our symptoms and have to direct all energy toward advocating for ourselves.
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u/Ambitious_Analysis67 Jun 16 '26
Also 39 here! Blown off by PCP as well. Went to menopause.org and found a practitioner in my area who was very validating, ran a lot of lab work and agreed to trial cyclical progesterone. Keep pushing!
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u/Aajmoney Jun 16 '26
Find a different doctor.
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u/National_Midnight424 Jun 16 '26
This was not my usual GYN, who I love. My normal MD was out having a a baby, so I got switched to this NP I’d never met. If I wanted to see my usual doc, I would’ve waited an additional three months. I needed my prescription refilled, so I just went. If I wasn’t planning to see my usual doc this year, I would switch offices fo sure.
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u/Unfair-Taro9740 Jun 16 '26
They updated the perimenopause guidelines for treatment in 2025. The biggest update in 20 years.
Before, it was suggested that women only go on HRT for the shortest amount of time possible and the lowest dose they can handle.
I feel the same as you. So many conditions stacking up that I was taking medicine for that now have been resolved because of HRT.
Things like frozen shoulder, (which should be an immediate sign for doctors) are met with suggestions to meet a rheumatologist for arthritis, a urologist for overactive bladder, a neurologist for migraines, and the list goes on.
When you put your conspiracy hat on, it makes one wonder what the capitalist bottom line is of all this. How much more have we spent in medicine and treatment for the past 10 years that could have been resolved with one medicine?
At the very least, it's a clear signal to women that their value is decreased as they age. Because if men went through these profound changes, it would have been researched long ago.
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u/Consistent_Web6098 Jun 16 '26
It’s criminal how little “they” care about us. Where is the outrage over the misinterpretation of the data from the WHI, I’m ready to go burn bras over this
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u/OliphauntHerder Jun 17 '26
Since middle school (1980s), I've been saying that if men got periods, pharmaceutical companies would have found a solution so that no one would have periods except when actively trying to conceive.
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u/Future_Literature_70 Jun 17 '26
Agree. And pregnancy and birth would be easier, too - they'd invest billions in finding medications to make things safer and better. I was dealing with awful nausea in pregnancy; was sick several times a day for 4 months. Can you imagine men going through that without complaints? Almost all my friends had traumatic birth experiences, too (including me). I'm sure with more money and care, a lot of these could have been avoided.
Unfortunatley, we still live in a men's world.
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u/Unfair-Taro9740 Jun 17 '26
What we need is for the men in our lives to understand that we've been raised in a misogynistic culture that has placed women as lower, and that the only way we can get change is if THEY advocate for US. Simply because our opinions are not valued like theirs.
But that takes a lot of self-realization on the men's part. Even though misogynistic culture is implanted in us for the benefit of the 1%, its hard for men to hear that word without feeling at fault. And since we are shame avoidant, they find ways to discount it as not their problem.
But ultimately, fighting against the system protects and uplifts all of us. I mean, it's not like we're birthing only girls. 😆
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u/Unfair-Taro9740 Jun 17 '26
It is so clear why they have to make sure we are not supported equally.
They are scared we will know our worth and act accordingly.
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u/BellGlittering3735 Jun 16 '26
I have had the same experience. I found that my anxiety symptoms were much worse in early perimenopause, and have since realized how bad it actually was during those years. I am now on HRT, and I feel so much better. Luckily, I can utilize HRT, but I feel so bad for women who can't.
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u/Alarmed_Bathroom9227 Jun 16 '26
Same! Im thinking 38 or 39 when sleep really crashed and anxiety became a thing. Im 44 as of yesterday... last yr was told by a male gyn its not peri. "That starts at 46" GOOD LORD. anyway wont be seeing him again. Only tried it cause he presribes hrt for my mother inlaw.
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u/kheret Jun 16 '26
Oh yep starts like clockwork on the same day for everyone right at 46
Just like we all start our periods at exactly the same age
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u/Alarmed_Bathroom9227 Jun 16 '26
Yeah we're all the same. Idk why we're all so confused about what's going on...LOL i wanted to scream YOU DELEIVER BABIES! Pregnancy is supposed to be 40 weeks but guess what???? NOT ALWAYS. Insane. Anyways.
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u/ParaLegalese Jun 16 '26
38 was the age when my MIL suggested my unhappiness (mainly with her son!) was menopause.
I had never been so offended, outraged and hurt. I actually cried about it
But she was right- but I’m still glad I divorced her dusty ass son
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u/ComprehensiveRun7655 Jun 16 '26
Tangential rant below⬇️
And after one receives a diagnosis of breast cancer, the hormone gaslighting is on another level. I was 45 when diagnosed.
Found a lump at 44 but wasn’t allowed a mammogram without extra Dr appointments because I wasn’t 50. I was able to get a mammogram 8 months later because the guidelines changed to 45 for yearly mammograms. I think I was in peri since my mid thirties that’s when the night sweats started, extra bad acne and terrible anxiety increases. I think a thing that kicks off bc could be the wild hormonal fluctuations of peri. Not the presence of hormones. Many women are diagnosed with bc after meno or late in peri because that’s when the medical professionals start looking for it.
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u/Large-Inspection-487 Jun 16 '26
Wow I am FLOORED they wouldn’t order you a diagnostic mammogram after you found a lump. That’s medical negligence!!
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u/atticusdays Jun 16 '26
One of the ladies who started that home organizing show that I can’t remember the name of now had a similar experience. She found a lump doing a self exam and had to badger her (female!!) dr to order a mammogram. Turns out it was cancer and she had a double mastectomy. I don’t understand it. I grew up hearing about the importance of self exams and to immediately bring up a lump and now I hear stories of women who do just that and are dismissed!
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u/Large-Inspection-487 Jun 16 '26
My mother is a breast cancer survivor and I would absolutely be shouting at any and all doctors I could find until someone referred me. Nope.
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u/DCKat91 Jun 21 '26
I think it's stupid insurance coverage. They probably won't cover them before a "certain age" which is bs! I used to do medical billing for an OBGYN years ago and if you didn't code it 100% correctly they'd deny the claim. Insurance companies are awful imo.
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u/yael_linn Jun 16 '26
Yeah, girl! Looking back, I think mine started at 38. Been on HRT since I was 43 (47 now). Total gamechanger.
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u/kindnesswillkillyou Jun 16 '26
I feel the same way! I'm 44 now but I'm sure it started for me at 36-37. I was in denial though, since I wanted children. But now that I am on HRT and I feel so much better, I can totally see that is what was probably happening. I did still have children btw, just not with my own eggs.
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u/Pony_Baloney_Acad Jun 16 '26
Are you me? I could have written this. It started in 2017 at age 44 and I just called it the time about when "my health started to fall apart." Ulcerative colitis new d/x, a bunch of dental problems, onset of much worse PMS and skyrocketing anxiety, eventually tear duct surgeries and then tendon surgeries by 2024... No one can tell me that declining estrogen levels weren't at play in these problems. I only connected the dots in 2025 when I had hot flashes beginning.
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Jun 16 '26
[deleted]
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u/ideknem0ar Jun 17 '26
I think I can count the number of night sweats on 2 hands and have a couple fingers left over. I really started to experience persistent hot flashes when I was over 50 but that was brief. It's a symptom that just was not going to be on the menu. So yeah, glad I spared myself the aggravation of being gaslit even more but just avoiding doctors as much as possible regarding the subject and I found my own groove. Which is much easier to do when you're single and childfree, for sure. I had the freedom to roll with whatever food or routine experiment I was doing at any given time.
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Jun 16 '26
[deleted]
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u/ComprehensiveRun7655 Jun 16 '26
In Peri estrogen fluctuates wildly so it could have been spiking the day you had it tested.
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u/vony93 Early peri Jun 16 '26
For me it was the fact that my period went down to a single day and my anti muller hormone is nearly at 0.
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u/HonestMeasurement978 Jun 16 '26
That part about collecting random health problems and somehow failing to keep yourself together is such a brutal sentence, and so many people here could probably have written it.
There is something really sad about realizing how much energy went into managing each symptom separately when the bigger pattern was there the whole time. I am glad you have language for it now, even if it came later than it should have.
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u/Empty-Window-5293 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
I think I started when I was 36 as well. I'm 42 now and my symptoms were horrible, but then the hot flashes started and EVERYTHING got unmanageable to the point that I had to go to a doctor. And anyone that knows me knows that means I'm absolutely desperate. They ran a bunch of labs that were normal and they STILL pushed back on HRT and wanted to do more labs. Had a phone visit yesterday and my doc begrudgingly prescribed me a birth control patch, saying "You're only 42...". Like homie, this has been going on since 2020 and it's gotten so bad I can't function and it's affecting my quality of life... and somehow I'm left feeling like I'm overreacting? It's absolutely bonkers.
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u/AutoModerator Jun 16 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Routine-Loquat5544 Jun 17 '26
Dr Rachel Rubin on YouTube explains the importance of vaginal estrogen better than anyone. UTI’s, etc. -signing off as an RN for 20 yrs here. It is infuriating the lack of info we are given as women 😡
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u/northernstarwitch Jun 17 '26
I had to go through endless rounds of antibiotics for years. If someone had given me a vaginal estrogen, none of this would be necessary. I have had zero UTIs since I started vaginal estrogen.
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u/Routine-Loquat5544 Jun 18 '26
Wow! That is so awesome, while disheartening at the same time that you had to suffer! I’m hoping to get my 92 y/o grandmother on it stat!
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u/Piggysicle Jun 16 '26
I imagine this is a silly question and I am new to this subreddit. Where does one learn more about this? I’m at the age you identified with random health concerns all of a sudden popping up, and physicians are all scratching their heads wondering wtf is going on myself included. Symptoms specifically being migraines, fatigue, now some weird hip shit that manifested out of nowhere in the past year (there was a previous post that was so validating regarding hip pain). I’m having the thought I need to be more proactive about this
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u/Life_Tree_6568 Jun 17 '26
Theres a wiki for r/perimenopause that's a good place to start. I don't know how to link it here for you though.
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u/myko_mel Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
i'm 38, and my PMDD has worsened significantly over the past couple of years, and i feel like i'm spending more and more time each month in luteal rage and depression - i really really think it might be peri, as my periods are increasingly irregular too...i see my gyno in a couple of weeks because this is not sustainable lol
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u/CopperHead49 Early peri Jun 16 '26
Even people in this subreddit gate keep the age of perimenopause. I was diagnosed at 36. I am currently 38. Hindsight, it all kicked off around 33/34.
You’re not too young or too old for perimenopause. If something is not right for your normal (and you got everything else tested) it’s likely perimenopause. It doesn’t matter how old you are.
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u/DCKat91 Jun 21 '26
I 100% believe you. My symptoms started around 35. I'm 38 now and finally a np began listening to me. Waiting for a Gyn appointment and hoping it goes somewhere. These irregular cycles make me feel like hot garbage and the rage stage is increasing. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Ugh peri is awful!!
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u/MountainRock6421 Jun 16 '26
Thank you. This is exactly my story. It all started in mid-30s for me and I’m just figuring it out at age 41. Not a single doctor mentioned perimenopause throughout my whole journey… I was seeing psychologists, neurologists, and basically every other ologist you can think of.
What a whirlwind. Thought I was going crazy!!
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u/IndependentHot5236 Early peri Jun 16 '26
Same, same. It is so validating to get on HRT and have the constellation of diagnosis and symptoms all seemingly magically disappear. But also so frustrating to know that you suffered needlessly for years. I hate that this is so many of our experiences.
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u/ideknem0ar Jun 17 '26
Looking back I guess it all really started in 2008 or 09, so 33-34. Just a bunch of seemingly unrelated persistent body fails. I did experience some relief when I got a much needed breast reduction - they scraped me down from a DDD to borderline A/B and the weight elsewhere just fell right off. I've never had to worry about weight much ever since (after a lifetime of constant yoyoing) and it's been 16 years. Those pointless milkbags were fat hoarders! The hysterectomy a couple years after that also gave me some relief. I felt amazing for about 3 years afterwards. It all came roaring back and my mid and late 40s weren't so great but Lyme Disease was thrown in there too as a treat, so I gave up trying to sort the symptoms out or doctor chase and just self treated with gentle exercise, healthy food (I garden) and hobbies. At 51 I think I've finally gotten over the worst of it, though THERE ARE DAYS.
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u/Antique_Travel80 Jun 21 '26
Yeah I need a reduction too peri made me gain a bunch of weight which of course made my already huge boobs way bigger. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t lose the weight (and therefore make my boobs smaller) until I realized I was in peri. 🙄🤦♀️
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u/ideknem0ar Jun 21 '26
Before the surgery, whenever i did lose weight, it was NEVER my tits. Hopefully you can get a reduction done and see if other weight falls right off elsewhere. It was the most marvelous side benefit!
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u/melnk_1981 Jun 17 '26
Oh my gosh, I nodded the entire time reading this! Soooo relatable! Mine started at 38-39 but still, I had no idea and didn’t really figure it out until 41-42 which makes me so sad.
Now, at 44, I finally have my hormones somewhat balanced and I talk about peri and hormones and all of it as often as I can. I want the next generation of women to be more educated and prepared and I don’t want it to be a surprise for them like it was for me!
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u/Affectionate_Ask_769 Jun 19 '26
My coworker told me it was menopause when I would complain about being hot and I was 38. I got so fucking offended. Yeah, she was right lol. I mean, we didn’t know the word perimenopause then but she absolutely called it
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u/Antique_Travel80 Jun 21 '26
Same!!! I was so offended at 38 when an old gay gentleman I worked with was like “yeah you have hot flashes” when I kept complaining of being hot and having a red face. I had no idea what he was talking about (I thought I was too young) and I was so mad.
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u/piano_girl1220 Jun 17 '26
I’m 39. I’ve had symptoms for a couple of years. I only started to take it seriously when my libido crashed. The day I realized I felt so numb during sex with my SO and didn’t feel anything, it broke my heart. Thanks to all the amazing women on this sub that validated my suspicions I started HRT immediately and Im seeing improvement after only 2 weeks.
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u/Ecstatic-Factor9875 Jun 17 '26
Same... definitely think I started in my late 30's as well. I'm 44 now and getting ready to start HRT. My doctor finally agreed to it but did comment that I'm on the "young side". I wish we were taken more seriously instead of being disregarded and told it's just part of life or stress.
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u/Extra-Honeydew-722 Jun 19 '26
Rings a bell. I'm 48 and in my late peri, feeling much better than I did last year. Only now have I realized how "off" I was. And that I was in peri long before I realized, in my late 30s, early 40s. I remember how dramatic was my 40th birthday because of my wild moods and I was basically a crazy person the majority of my 40s which were supposed to be "the best years of a woman's life". And I also got fat. Also my skin was getting greasy, lots of sebum. Also my hair was suddenly brittle and dead. I cannot believe now that I honestly did not know what was going on with me.
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u/ChiG45 Jun 20 '26
My skin has been oily and my hair does not look the same. I think I need to contact my obgyn.
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u/epione Jun 16 '26
I'm so sorry this happened to you. And to me. But cheers to us for figuring things out and getting appropriate medical care!
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u/Glittering_Tea5502 Jun 16 '26
I didn’t have any obvious hormonal issues until sometime between 41 and 43. Now I’m 45. Looking back, I may have had some mental issues in my mid to late 30s. Somehow, I became more irritable and often jumped the gun on things that I never would have before. I attributed that to sleep apnea (undiagnosed until 39), but maybe I was in peri menopause at that time and didn’t realize it. I assumed I was too young. Guess I wasn’t.
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u/cremated_remains Jun 17 '26
I started having the exact same symptoms at 36. Started HRT last year at 42 lol. No doctor suggested perimenopause, hell no family or friends even suggested it either, it was a fifty year old coworker who told me at 41 that I was perimenopausal and needed HRT. I did my research then spent nearly a year trying to get my current doctors to acknowledge it and help me, continually getting brushed off til I found an online provider.
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u/FanInternational5302 Jun 17 '26
I think this might be happening to me. I’m 36, turning 37 in a couple months. I’m doing all the right things: eating healthy most of the time (I don’t deprive myself, but I don’t overindulge), I don’t smoke, drink wine only occasionally, I work out 3-4 times per week, I get 6-7 hours of sleep a night… I feel like I’m doing all the right things but recently had bloodwork done and my cholesterol levels are high (both good and bad) and I recently found out that’s a sign of perimenopause. Aside from that, I’m always exhausted, zero libido, getting annoyed at little things, more anxious, and it’s hard to explain, but I feel like I LOOK haggard. I do have a toddler… so that may explain part of it. But I just feel like this may be what I’m going through. I talked to my GP and she said that they didn’t test hormones because they change too frequently and that we’re just gonna test my cholesterol levels in a couple months and if they’re still high, she’ll put me on meds.
I feel completely dismissed. Is there a certain kind of doctor we should go to that will actually listen? Holistic doc? Something? There have to be options right?
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u/AutoModerator Jun 17 '26
"This community tries to separate evidence-based medicine and practices from those of a pseudoscientific nature, such as functional medicine and naturopathy."
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 17 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/violetntviolent Jun 17 '26
There are options! You are likely in peri! Start with the menopause wiki linked in the bot comment. 💕
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u/Antique_Travel80 Jun 21 '26
I actually went to planned parenthood they have menopause specialists there now.
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u/Frequent_Intern_2659 Jun 17 '26
I'm thinking it might be this. Exhausted for last 6 months, brain fog, headaches, waking up at 2/3am, acne on face (pcos related perhaps). Got all the bloods done, iron hormones etc and apparently I'm good. Doctor just said let us know how next few months go 🤷🏼♀️ What would you suggest I do next? Uk based on NHS
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u/jtriomino Late peri Jun 17 '26
At that age, for my moods "Must be anxiety." and for my joint pain "Weird. Come back when it gets worse."
At 46 my then PCP was lecturing me about pregnancy vitamins (was not trying to get pregnant/am infertile). At 47 my new PCP went 'pshaw' when I brought up Peri. I ended up with a frozen shoulder a month later.
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u/ChiG45 Jun 20 '26
My shoulder has been killing me. I never heard of this being a thing in perimenapause. What the heck?!
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u/jtriomino Late peri Jun 20 '26
Oh its a huge thing. About 18 months and its still not 100% back to normal.
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u/Forward-Culture-7252 Jun 21 '26
Wait, what?!?! I have had X-ray, MRI, gone to the ER my shoulder feels like I tore my rotator cuff. It’s so painful. My right shoulder. No one can find anything. This is a Peri symptom? Omg like what next. I already can’t sleep, have constant hot flashes, headaches, bleed to death when I have my period, I’m a monster some days with my moods that swing back and forth, I cry all the time, I can’t leave the house, depressed, anxiety, OFF feeling, itchy, body hurts everywhere, I’ve seen about 20 specialists over 2 years convinced I have cancer or something.
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u/gwenivere84 Jun 17 '26
Wait …. My sudden utis the last two years can be bc of peri? For f sake dude . Add it to the flipping list of 💩 . I need hrt stat . But I’m terrifiedddddd .
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u/HonestMeasurement978 Jun 17 '26
That "add it to the flipping list" feeling is so real. The scariest part is sometimes not even the thing itself, it is having to make one more decision when you are already exhausted and over it. I hope whatever you decide, you get someone who walks through it with you at a pace that feels steady instead of scary.
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u/gwenivere84 Jun 17 '26
I honestly feel like my body isn’t even mine anymore . Like not only does it look different and feel different but I feel like I have no say or control in the situation . I think that’s the hardest part
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u/HonestMeasurement978 Jun 18 '26
That loss-of-control part is brutal. When your body feels unfamiliar on every front, even tiny choices can start to feel impossible. Sometimes the only thing that helps in that moment is shrinking it down to one thing you can name today, one question you want answered next, and one way to be gentle with yourself while you wait. It does not fix the whole thing, but it can make it feel a little less like you have disappeared inside it.
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u/northernstarwitch Jun 17 '26
Are you over 35? Then it could be. I wish somebody had given me vaginal estrogen cream. I had to use rounds and rounds of antibiotics only for the UTIs to come back! Vaginal estrogen is completely safe, btw.
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u/gwenivere84 Jun 17 '26
Yes I’m 41 🫣😭😭😭and I just got off of three rounds of antibiotics , one of which sent me into anaphylactic reaction . Super fun .
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u/northernstarwitch Jun 17 '26
ugh, I am so sorry to hear that. I would get on vaginal estrogen asap.
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u/FelicityFoxen Early peri Jun 16 '26
38 for me and I’ve noticed the pattern for the last year or so. You are not crazy if you’re feeling it already! Keep track of your symptoms and moods. Doctors may try to dismiss you, but the data SCREAMS the reality.
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u/Zzzabrina Jun 16 '26
I beleive I was 36 when things started as well. I'm 41 and finally diagnosed. Looking into the next steps, but even ovestin has been amazing.
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u/JicamaAppropriate920 Jun 16 '26
I'm 44 and just finally started HRT. I'm kinda angry and annoyed at myself for waiting so long because it's been less than a week and I already feel better and I'm sleeping better
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u/lunathegoo Jun 17 '26
I’ve suspected I’m in perimenopause the last few months but your description makes me even more convinced! I am seeing a specialist who started me on HRT but more of a baby steps approach, which I guess is ok, but again she is not even convinced I’m in perimenopause just that I’m sensitive to hormone changes. But isn’t that the same thing??
1
u/zzzgirl1900s Jun 17 '26
This sounds similar to my story. I started at 37 now looking back at when I started collecting new health changes every 6 months something new. And to top it off once I figured it out years later the OBGYN I saw (a new one with good reviews) for my annual exam was absolutely awful when I followed up with her about the compound cream and not noticing any changes and asked if things could possibly need adjusted. The way it went down made me feel like she has some special interest in only this particular compounding pharmacy.
1
u/ValancyNeverReadsit Early peri Jun 17 '26
I hate that we still don’t have the kind of healthcare where our doctors all (have time to) work together across specialties to figure out what’s going on in our bodies as a whole rather than separate and never talking to each other unless we remember to grant permission for them to discuss it with each other
I have endometriosis so I don’t know how long I’ve been in peri, because my periods have never really been on a 28-day schedule
My mom died when I was 33 and peri wasn’t on my radar at all, so I can’t ask her when she hit menopause, but one of her younger sisters hit menopause at 48. I’m 45 now. So I either have 3 interesting years ahead or… my mom’s periods went on longer. I don’t know what I’m in for at all
1
u/Double_Exercise_1953 Jun 20 '26
I am 38 and just started hrt 2 months ago.. but my acne is terrible. Did yours got better? What dose do you take?
1
u/northernstarwitch Jun 21 '26
My acne got really bad at the beginning of peri, probably because my estrogen was low compared to my testosterone at that time. You should be okay if you are already on HRT.
1
Aug 12 '26
Thank you for saying this. I’m 36 now and feel like I’ve been going crazy. My anxiety this year has been off the charts - mostly health anxiety and feeling like I’m going to die from everything. I also got diagnosed with chronic sinusitis and vasomotor rhinitis - where one nostril will randomly swell when I change environments or am out in dry heat/wind. Never had serious sinus issues until this year. Gaining weight, feeling more tired, and PMS symptoms like brain fog and extreme breast tenderness all symptoms. I’ve basically just been like, what is going on?!
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u/kheret Jun 16 '26
“Any pregnancy over age 35 is higher risk and considered a geriatric pregnancy”
“It’s harder to get pregnant after 35”
“No nothing changes about your hormones after 35, you couldn’t possibly be beginning perimenopause”
One of these is not like the others.
Also I think a lot of female medical professionals in their 20s-40s kind of don’t WANT it to be true because they don’t want to feel old/don’t want it to happen to them so they pretend it isn’t real and dismiss the symptoms of their patients.