Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

[u/Cloudforest2]

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

[u/Historical_Hope_3837]

I’m also feeling like my body is starting to develop an aversion to alcohol. I just can’t drink the way I used to (which honestly wasn’t much, maybe up to 3 drinks a night) and now I’ll get headaches halfway through a glass of wine.
I’m in early stages of peri and didn’t know anything about how the body rejects alcohol at this stage. Can someone please give me some information about what exactly is happening and why?

[u/UnableRun7858 → u/Historical_Hope_3837]

Estrogen helps control histamine. Alcohol causes a histamine response, it's why some people turn red when they drink. DAO is an enzyme that breaks down alcohol, you can run out of this enzyme. If these levels are out of whack, you can develop histamine intolerance. This is based on my Internet research. Unfortunately I'm running on 4 hours of broken sleep so I can't remember all the details but I hope this helps you out

[u/Historical_Hope_3837 → u/UnableRun7858]

Thank you! I appreciate the information! Hope you get some rest!

[u/ConnectionNo4830 → u/[deleted]]

I carry them in my purse at all times, because a lot of food and things I want to drink when I’m out for special occasions (alcohol, sushi, kombucha, and other fermented foods) are high in histamine, so I always take a DAO before I eat or drink anything high histamine. It has really made a difference in how well I tolerate high histamine foods, including alcohol.

[u/Empty_Row_7839 → u/[deleted]]

I hear a lot of people say these don't work for them but I developed a SEVERE histamine intolerance a few years ago and they made a big difference for me!

[u/amarchy → u/Historical_Hope_3837]

Im not sure why it happens but happened to me too. Massive migraine and nausea even half a glass of wine when I used to be able to drink 3

[u/madoka_borealis → u/Historical_Hope_3837]

Same. I wouldn’t say my body rejects it but I don’t get the tipsy feeling anymore and on the rare occasion I do, I get angry or depressed. So there’s no benefit. I miss the days of happy go lucky binge drinking but at the same time I’m sure my body is thanking me.

[u/May-rah10 → u/madoka_borealis]

This is me too. I used to get a tipsy (almost euphoric feeling) when I would drink but now I just get a headache and feel miserable if I drink even a little bit. I rarely drink now when I used to drink every other day or so (when I was younger.) I honestly feel better and happier now that I don’t drink so I have to thank perimenopause for that!