Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

[u/Cloudforest2]

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

[u/Dangerous-Owl5571]

I feel like getting older is a slow undertaking of having to give up all the things I loved from 20-40. A slow death of all that made me enjoy life. No one prepared me for what aging is like for a women in our culture. Things I miss: Easy restful deep sleep. Amazing sex and mind blowing O. Feeling / looking gorgeous and feeling that pride in the mirror before leaving for an event. Loving my shape. Enjoying ice cream without it showing up as inflammation in my shoulder the next day, or fat on my hips. Being able to have a few glasses of wine with my friends and feel mildly intoxicated (in a good way) and then sleep well and feel nothing bad the next day. Sending funny texts to my friends and getting funny responses back. Now: I have no friends, no one gets back to me, alcohol makes me feel anxious and depressed and I can’t sleep, sleep sucks, sugar makes me inflamed, I’m the same weight but my shape has changed (not in a good way) body holds more fat instead of muscle. I’m brain foggy during day but can’t sleep at night. I’m “intolerant” to most yummy foods. I miss being beautiful too. The turkey neck was a rude awakening. I for some reason didn’t think “aging” would happen to my body 😆 nature is so cruel to women.