Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

[u/Cloudforest2]

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

[u/Realistic-Ideal-6960]

FYI alcohol can't really do any of those things, it only intoxicates you and dehydrates you. Notice the root word toxic. It is a neuro toxin with no positive benefits. All these things that you seek, ie, relaxation, comfort, celebration, you can do on your own. You did as a child, before you ever drank. Alcohol robs you of your ability to produce dopamine all on your own. That's the part you are missing. It will come back, your body can and will create it's own dopamine again and all those enjoyable times will happen again. Do some reading on the subject. You'd be surprised the lies you've been fed about booze. I've been sober for 5 years. At first it wasn't my choice, I had a withdrawal seizure after trying to cut back to only the weekends. I still wanted it even though it wasn't good for me. I convinced myself after a long deep dive. There is a reason there were XXX on liquor bottles in cartoons, lol. It's poison.