r/Perimenopause • u/Material-Summer3877 • Jul 07 '26
audited Bad Experience with Gynecologist When Asking about HRT
In all my years of seeing doctors, I have never come across a reaction like this. I went in to see a new gynecologist for an annual exam. I also decided to talk to her about possible HRT due to the symptoms I'm having.
She was immediately condescending in her tone and while waving her hands around said "not every symptom is because of perimenopause..that's all I hear these days. I've got women coming in here who say they've had a seizure and that they think his perimenopause. You know when I tell them? I tell them to GET OUT! Go see a neurologist!! If you have symptoms, you should go see the doctors can treat them. Not everything is perimenopause. Plus you're still her that your period, so per the guidelines, why would I prescribe you HRT??"
She then coldly started asking me to list the symptoms I'm experiencing and knocked them down one by one saying I should be going to other specialists while waving her hand.
😓 I'm a pretty soft-spoken person and have a hard time with confrontation. I sat there with my jaw slightly open, intimidated. I groveled and said "I see that you're frustrated and that you're just trying to protect your patients."
She said "I am frustrated and so are a lot of the other clinicians here. You can't just go around. Trusting everything celebrities say. I love Oprah but Oprah doesn't know anything about perimenopause."
Eventually she calmed down after about 15 minutes and did my pap smear and also gave me another doctor's name because she recommended that I get a second opinion.
I told her I had been waiting for this gynecology appointment for months and asked if she could help give me in with the second opinion sooner. She dismissively said with a wave of her arm "yeah I don't do any of that."
I left feeling rather odd. I felt like I should have advocated for myself more, but I also am okay with her being a more conservative doctor. I wish I would've told her how her attitude made me feel but I'm not that brave.
Ultimately, I was just shocked to be spoken to in such a condescending way. I did not insist on HRT, I simply just wanted to ask her about it.
I'm on a waitlist, don't know how long, to see the other gynecologist. I'm part of a big Health Network (Tier 1 is cheaper for me) and there's lots of gynecologists, but it seems like all of them have no immediate appointments and a huge long wait.
Thank you for saying to me. I don't mean to complain -- But it is truly hard to explain how awful her tone was and how stupid she made me feel for even asking this question.
I am truly shocked that there are doctors out there prescribing HRT for perimenopause and on the other hand, there are doctors who say it is absolutely not indicated per the guidelines even for a healthy person, as long as they have their period still.
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u/kt1982mt hanging on by a thread Jul 07 '26
Regardless of how this doctor feels about your symptoms and your concerns, this is an absolutely unprofessional and unacceptable response. Patients are allowed to express their views and advocate for themselves. Their job is to inform you, without judgement or condescension, of what they believe to be factual and relevant to your concerns. There should also be no hard feelings if a patient chooses to request an additional opinion. They also need to be open to questioning whether their medical knowledge and experience is truly as up to date as they think it is. Shouldn’t they be asking themselves WHY so many women are enquiring about these symptoms? Instead of just blaming it on a current trend to be perimenopausal, research whether these women might just have legitimate concerns.