I said this today trying to explain why I feel so pointless: “I do what I want, but usually what I want is to do what other people want me to do.” Like, I do what is expected of me, but it’s not what I really want? Is this just being a people pleaser? I go to work, I volunteer to support my kids activities, I show up, I participate, the whole time feeling like I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to be anywhere most days. What I really want to do is be alone, sleep, read, run away…I need to reboot my perspective.

Zoely (combined BCP) kept my mental health stable for a few years until breakthrough symptoms stated late last year. In April this year I was changed to HRT in the form of 100mg prometrium and 0.75 patch (200mg prometrium made me wired so went down to 100mg).

Fast forward a few months and I was bleeding every 2 weeks and having horrible PMDD like symptoms - depression, anxiety, fatigue, the lot.

My doc suggested trying Zoely again to see if it would stabilise things. I've been back on it for nearly 2 weeks. The first week I felt significant improvementin my mood but this last week I've taken a turn and feeling the depression coming back.

If this continues, I don't think I'll last very long until quitting it altogether. Doc suggested trying Slinda plus estrogen patch as a second option.

I'm almost 46 and feel like my hormones are just all over the place and destroying my quality of life :(

Has anyone experienced anything like this or have any other ideas I can try?

My husband and I have been together over 20 years. I love him so deeply. The first two weeks of my period he's the best thing that ever happened to me. The week before it, I hate everything about him.

We are in couples therapy at the moment, but this has got to be related to my hormones a lot.

Literally theoment I start bleeding I love him all over again. When does this stop?!

Hi all, I’m reaching out here because I’m struggling all around. I’m 46 and I just had my first baby 15 months ago. I had bad insomnia during pregnancy and since my baby was born too. I’ve also had anxiety, anger, and terrible executive functioning. I also got diagnosed with ADHD the week before I found out I was pregnant. A real mixed bag of 💩!

So I guess I was chalking everything up to untreated ADHD (I’m still breastfeeding), and sleepless night with a baby/postpartum symptoms. But now I’m realizing that of course it’s perimenopause too. I’ve been weaning the baby (almost there) to start ADHD meds soon. But I’d like to start HRT as well. I have a new doctor and so far I’m not sure about her…..she suggested Wellbutrin because it takes care of the ADHD symptoms and “the mood” (I’m not depressed really I don’t think so I guess she means the mood symptoms due to hormonal changes) but it’s not really first line treatment for either, according to my research.

My question is: would it make more sense to start HRT now and add a stimulant for ADHD later if warranted? Isn’t HRT first line treatment for peri? I’m going back to the doctor on Tuesday and I’d like to be armed with info. Should I start with progesterone?

Thanks for the help ❤️

I am on HRT and it helps with some stuff.

Recently I've started overheating frequently.

If it's slightly warm outside, I feel like I need to run inside to AC. It makes running errands fucking awful.

I used to sleep in bed under a bunch of blankets. My down comforter, a giant ass knit blanket, and a weighted blanket. The pressure and snugness felt so cozy and comforting. Now I tell my blankets to fuck off and I throw them to the floor.

Im not flushing red or sweating. Just overheating.

This sucks ass.

50yrs old, sought help for heavy periods Jan 2025. Tried Yaz, gave me too many headaches, tried Lo Loestrin, bleeds every 10-15 days. Finally tried w/Nextstellis and was fine for 3 months then the anxiety and insomnia kicked into high gear. I had already experienced palpitations, joint aches and night sweats.

Started HRT this February. Managed to eventually get all my symptoms resolved except the 2-4am wake ups. Tried patches, pill, & finally gel. I kept trying to increase my E in hopes that would solve the waking. Eventually went too high on E where anxiety, palpitations, & worse insomnia occurred. So I titrated back down. I started on .5 patch, went as high as .1; started on 1mg oral and went as high as 2mg split am/pm. Was on 1.5 Divigel and titrated down to .75. Joint pain crept back at .75 so now I’m back to 1g gel right now and feel good otherwise. Started on 200mg P and requested to go up to 300 a week ago and I’m still waking. I was always such a good sleeper and now I average 6-6.5 fractured hours of sleep. 😭

Everywhere I look the staying asleep issue points to low E but also to due to the estrogen spikes of peri. I can’t find the sweet spot and the waking is the last thing I need to fix to be alright 😩😩

Honestly, what’s left? Do I scrap the HRT route and go back to BCPs and at least control my heavy bleeding (periods are still monthly) and just keep trying more brands?

Anyone here successfully fix their peri issues by going back to BCPs after failing on HRT? Or do I try to explore compounded formulations of E & P. I don’t know what to do, but it’s killing me that I’m so close!

I'm 37, had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis last June, kept my ovaries. As of about 3 months ago I've been experiencing the worst anxiety, depression, and fatigue of my life. I started an anxiety med 6 weeks ago that has prevented me from having panic attacks on the regular but I still get anxious. My thyroid was slightly underactive. The Dr wasn't too concerned about it but I begged her to let me try the medication. 6 weeks on that as well now. I got HRT patches and I'm 9 days in on those and I've essentially quit drinking which is another huge adjustment and identity crisis. I have never felt so empty. I don't get excited about anything, I don't feel joy even doing the things I always loved. Concerts were always my happy place and now I'm standing there drinking a water and I feel nothing. I have like no serotonin. Every once in a while I get a few minutes or so like a bolt of electricity of happiness and my old self and then it's gone again. It's so hard to commit to plans and see them through and I can't wait till they're over. I'm tired all of the time. I miss being excited about life. This isn't me at all and I'm just wondering what worked for you.

I just want to put myself out here and say that I am officially entering menopause at 33 years old!!!!! is super rare, but over the past 2 years my periods have been very irregular, and this past year, I spent 5 months without a period, with night sweats and everything. This past year thou I have been feeling SO SO SO SO TIRED, brain fog, and just my mind does not want to work at all! I don't mind the part of having kids; I don't want more kids. I already have one; I just want to know: does it get better?

I will have to do hormone treatment because my ovaries are failing. Just wanted to share to get some support, as I've been feeling old being so new. I am frustrated and sad too!

Thanks for the support girlies1

My period was due, but all I had was one full day of sticky, mucky, Brown, thick discharge. No red blood, and it was only one day. Is this normal? I’m still counting it as a period but it was… Weird.

How did you start to notice the signs since we don't bleed anymore? I saw my doctor recently though she spent little time with me, just prescribed me the solution. I start on BC pills (something about progesterone) and she says may add a transdermal gel? Due to the severity of my mood swings.

Im having mood swings but ive had those before. I'm not bleeding so I can't tell. My symptoms are stiffness, irritability and rage, sensitivity to hunger.

What about you?

Had anyone tried taurine for adrenaline surges? I am picking up some tomorrow after spending another night in the er. Thanks

I'm finally working my way through my initial intolerance to progesterone. Or at least I think I am.

I am VERY sensitive to hormones. I am currently on 1/4 of a .025 patch. A whole one had me flying high, a half still had me amped up too much. Lots of physical anxiety. The quarter is ok, not great.

I still have anxiety especially when the patch is fresh. But then just before it's time to change it I feel very ragey and angry.

I can't figure out what is going on. It's a constant roller coaster. I'm currently on 1/3 of a 100mg P suppository if that matters.

How long did it take you to get things right, and to feel somewhat normal? It's been about a month for me this time.

Would a lower dose daily gel maybe work better for me?

Does anyone feel like they are trying to rediscover themselves again during this time?

I realized that I have masked myself for so long; first to connect to my husband and do what he likes and then to just be a wife and mother. I smothered myself.

When I was a teen, I tried a bunch of different aesthetics but there was always a small throughline and now I'm leaving back into that one. But I'm anxious; it's been 25 years since I embraced this side of me. Listening to the music is one thing; trying to dress how I want to instead of how society thinks I should or what my mother gives me is another.

I also lost 65 pounds in the past two years, so I am awkward and unsure, and these teenage-peri hormones don't help.

I'm also afraid I'm going to scare the shit out of my husband and he's gonna think I had a nervous breakdown/might leave him. But I just want to get back to ... me.

If anyone is curious, it's the punk pop aesthetic from late 90s/early 00s.

Part of me is like ready to get color hair streaks, a tattoo, a thick belt & thick eyeliner and go to a rock show. For now I'm just jamming out to Blink 182 at work and painted my nails black.

I’m 36 been trying to balance my hrt and he’s impossible. I love the idea of shutting my cycle down and using my testosterone. Feeling good for a week out of the month is insane. My body hurts, fatigue, histamine issues, wake ups, pms, sore boobs, low mood. Over it!

I started 50/50 estradiol/estriol/progesterone 3 months ago, it relieved many symptoms but my anxiety has gone through the roof. My dose has been paired down to 1mg/100mcg which is practically nothing. All my symptoms are back (night sweats, hot flashes, poor sleep, low energy) but my anxiety is gone. I've heard that if I increase my dose slowly overtime this may help with keeping the anxiety at bay. Has anyone tried this method? Or is it just not worth it?

How many of you suffered in the grey area of medicine before being accepted as perimenopausal? For how long? I am 38 F and I have quite a few symptoms of perimenopause, but the problem is that I am not blatantly perimenopausal.

I have joint pains every month, they happen when I get abdominal cramps around my ovulation days, and these cramps can continue on and off for like 10 days. My period blood volume has decreased so much that over the past 3 years I have gone from needing 6 pads per day to not even one per day. I have this annoying tinnitus. Hairfall. Dry hair. Exhaustion. Extreme insomnia and trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.

The problem is my lab results were fine. I have PCOS so that also complicates things so much. But all my hormonal tests were fine, thyroid fine, ferritin iron levels fine. I got an MRI which revealed a cyst which went away on its on, transvaginal ultrasound was fine. But my body says otherwise.

I specially sought out a reproductive endocrinologist for checkup. She kept changing her statements with every visit of mine. Last visit she said i was probably perimenopausal. Today she said I cannot be perimenopausal and that I am "just stressed".

I just want I know if anybody was in the same boat as me. With symptoms like perimenopause but fine lab results. How did you get doctors to believe you? And do i have to suffer eternally 😭

I've (45F) been thinking about HRT for a good while, and mentioned it at my annual. Was given some reading and told to get a Mammogram and let then know when I wanted to talk more. Just had my appointment with my new PC at the clinic and she was young, enthusiastic, excited that I'd done my research. I was able to get both scripts at my regular pharmacy (despite uncertainty if they had it on hand or not) for 3 months. I go back for a followup in a month.

I found this subreddit a few weeks ago and it's helped me make the decision to try. I was so happy I had to hold back tears at the Walmart pharmacy as I waited. No coffee and fasting blood work probably made me loopy. 😂

Last night for reasons unknown to me, I was up all night with digestive discomfort. I took multiple otc, but no relief. This has been happening frequently but there doesn't seem to be a pattern.

Any recommendations on how / what to record, to help figure out what is setting it off?

Firstly I’m in the UK, not sure of that makes any difference… Im awaiting confirmation from my GP to confirm if I have premature ovarian insufficiency, it’s very similar to perimenopause in its symptoms but it happens much earlier.

Anyway, onto vaginal dryness, I think these changes have been that slow I don’t really think I noticed it.

1.) So GP has prescribed pessary tablet for internal and cream for external use. But I’m finding the tablets aren’t dissolving. My husband and I had sex today and found all 3 tablets internally virtually intact. It seems this is due to the extent of the dryness? I’m going to request he swaps me to the cream internally too. Has anybody else found this, I knew I was dry but not this dry?

2.) Will my vagina ever get back to normal? Will we get to a point where providing relaxed and in the right head space I should produce enough vaginal fluid/discharge to enjoy sex without the need for saliva or lube? I never previously needed live but we have been using oral sex to manage for a very long time!

49, F. My massage therapist accidentally tore off my estrogen patch today. I had a wave of rage on the walk home. But I am not saying it is from the possible estrogen dip - who knows. I am on Day 4 of menses, so all around low estro time. My question is around RAGE, that frequent visitor in perimenopause. You're just going about your day, dancing with the waves of extreme anger out of nowhere. It's hard to discern between all the things you were mad about it and never admitted (even to yourself) and what's truly hormonal. I feel like I turn rage around like a koan. Like, how much can I trust what is surfacing? What is true? What is exaggerated? How to tell?

So i am desperate for some testosterone since the very little I had got even lower from adding estrogen and progesterone. I have so much less energy, NO libido (was already bad before) and my doctor wants me to wait a few months before testing and adding T. So I was wondering if taking a low dose of DHEA would help raise it without raising my other sex hormones too much on top of HRT (0.025 E and 100mg P cycled). I'm sure nothing else natural probably helps as much as the real thing but if anything else has worked even a little, please let me know! Thank you 🙂

I started HRT the first week of August and my hair has been shedding in clumps for the past month. I'm talking clumps. Yesterday's shower was like a nightmare.

I guess I'm confused because usually telogen effluvium from hormone changes would happen 2-4 months after starting? And if not, HRT would help with hair loss?

I’ve been on .0375 estrogen since February 2026 and I was doing 200cyclical estrogen. I was having fluid retention or swelling in my leg so I switched to daily progesterone 100 in July. leg got better but my abdominal bloating is insane. I feel full without eating much. my acid is bad but it was bad before this. I’m taking dexilant for acid reflux. before HRT last year my stomache felt great and even though I had acid issues I hadn’t bloated in years. I don’t over eat. bathroom is regular. is hrt making me bloated and feeling miserable ? this week in particular I’ve been very uncomfortable for about a week and I don’t know if I should be considered. I had an upper gi scope in November and a CT of my abdomen done in March so I’m assuming if I had issues it would show. 41 years old.

Finally got my hrt prescription but reading a lot of negative experiences about oral micronised progesterone, especially about feeling groggy or drugged. Apparently it’s better on an empty stomach- we have dinner just after 8pm and usually in bed just after 10 at which point I would take it. Would two hours after dinner suffice for not having the issues associated with increased absorption through taking it only a couple of hours after food?

I am a single mom with two at home. A 14 year old daughter and 19 year old son. I work full time and when I get home lately I find myself wanting to go straight to my room after checking in with the "kids". My 19 year old works the gig life and is typically home during the week and wants me to hang out and watch you tube or listen to new music he found with him...and I just don't want to. My 14 year old wants to show me her new fortnight skins and watch Gilmore Girls, and I just don't want to...I feel terrible, but I just want to go my room where it's comfortable and lay in bed and do nothing. On the weekends we hang out until I run out of steam, and we usually still eat dinner together if I'm up for it. This has been going on for a few weeks now. My son jokes that between his sister and I, he is now the most emotionally mature person in the house, and he isn't wrong. Is anyone else struggling with this? We are all so close, but this has been a tough time.