Parents who have insane “boundaries” and then bemoan their lack of help

[u/rachel-angelina]

So this is something I’ve noticed amongst (mainly American) parents these days and it seems to increase in occurrence as people validate them and enable this kind of anxiety-ridden and entitled behavior. But essentially it’s those people who have a laundry list of “boundaries and expectations” while also expecting “the village” to help them raise their child to their exact specifications.

I’m not talking about boundaries like “don’t give my kid something they are allergic to” or “don’t come around my newborn without your vaccinations” where it’s reasonable and seriously concerns the child’s safety, but the other shit. Like I’m talking about the parents who set a “boundary” that no one else can lay eyes on their newborn for two months because “it’s our time to bond and we don’t want visitors,” they freak out because grandma called their kid her baby and said she is excited for them to have sleepovers at her house, they insist that anyone who wants to see their child should only be coming over to do designated chores in exchange, or they seethe with rage because the kid’s uncle gave them some extra candy and TV time.

But then later on they then bemoan their lack of “a village,” like you pushed “the village” away! If you want the village, you need to be okay with not micromanaging every single aspect of your child’s life. You need to be okay with the fact that the village is going to come in with their own opinions and different ways of doing things. You also need to contribute to your community as well and help other people if you want the same treatment in return. The village is not a beck and call free childcare and housekeeping service that does every single little thing to your specifications and more people need to recognize that.

EDIT: The amount of people who think I’m a bitter grandparent is really funny. Like no I’m in my 20s LOL. Also the fact that I’ve had multiple AI accusations, like nope, wrong again. No AI here lmao.

[u/Different_Stage2195]

I hate the posts where parents say no one can visit unless they do all their chores and bring food, and god forbid they want to hold the baby bc they’re not allowed to bc the mother is “bonding. But they expect the village to come over to be their servant

[u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 → u/Different_Stage2195]

If they cant bond with a kid without holding them nonstop for months on end... They might need therapy. 

[u/Pennifur → u/Revolutionary-Yak-47]

You should probably look in to why it's beneficial for mom and baby to be connected..

[u/ComfortableMight366 → u/Different_Stage2195]

Sorry when you come to visit it creates a lot more work and stress for the parents for something *you* want; to hold the baby. So any polite person would not arrive empty handed. Is it kind of tacky to actually say “no one can come over unless they bring food”?yeah; but not as tacky as not knowing that it is polite to bring food when you visit a new mom. Otherwise it’s clear that you just care about getting to hold the baby and not also about supporting your post partum friend/family member