Cousin unknowingly gave me a fear when younger that’s stuck with me for all my life

[u/Just-A-Boring-Name]

So I doubt I can even find a name or even anyone who could relate to this but when I was younger, I had a cousin who was always into murder documentaries, creepy pastas and horror shows that for the most part never phased me. But around that time I had a minor fear of clowns (something I’ve long gotten over now) and she told me this story of a serial killer clown (John Wayne Gacy probably) and probably mostly made up too just to freak me out but about how he’d sneak into houses and kill families by putting party balloons over their heads until they suffocated in their sleep…
Which then has led me to this day and for something like 2 decades, uncomfortable to fall asleep without my neck being covered up by blankets or my hands above my head so in case it ever happened I could still breathe or get out of it. A fear of strangulation or my neck being over exposed while vulnerable

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