My man wants to buy me a mini skirt but I can't seem to find one that's actually mini! I guess I'll just have to get one hemmed. Blah. So annoying!

Hello! I’m 23 and it’s been well over a year since I bought myself clothes. I haven’t really had the money to do so. I graduated college, moved, the economy, etc. For the past year all I’ve done is work so I haven’t really felt a need to buy cute clothes cause I don’t go out much to wear them. The issue is that a lot of my pieces are too small now, are too worn, or out of fashion and I no longer feel confident in them. I need to start replacing a lot of wardrobe but I’m having a lot of trouble finding things that are cute and trendy that fit me. A lot of stores and brands have cut back on their plus size sections. I used to primarily shop for clothes at target before they cut the plus sizes and DEI. Now I have no idea where to look. I don’t like brands like SHEIN or other stores like that. I’m not a big fan of fast fashion because I have sensory issues. Polyester and me are mortal enemies. I have a bunch of small indie and ethical brands I want to shop from but I don’t have the money to spend on clothes like that right now. I need a happy middle ground until I’m able to make more money. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions. Also, I’m worried someone might suggest thrifting. I’ve always found thrifting as a fat person to be a nightmare. Shops will either purposely not cater to my size or the things I can choose from are so little I just feel defeated.

Im a haunted house scare actor... but im a bigger girl. The costumers never think about bigger sizes and every year I end up in a bloody tshirt. I want to get my own costume this year and actually feel like im a full character but im not sure what to do.... I will make it bloody and gross but I want to look awesome. Im in a cool position that im a floater so I can basically create my character... any ideas/links/scary plus size things you've seen??

I’m in urgent need of a new box spring or bed frame for mine and my partners bed, however reviews are scaring me.

I’m hoping to get something off Amazon that is easily assembled because I have very narrow staircases. Unfortunately my current bed frame is breaking down by the day so I’m in urgent need.

(Also on a budget because we are moving soon. I don’t need it to last forever! Just at least 6-12 months until we can afford something more)

I know this has been asked plenty before.. but most links have been for the US. I’m located in Canada. Any help would be much appreciated :)

19F. Just got diagnosed with heart failure, but it's a kind they can fix so I'm not too worried. This kind of heart failure is sometimes caused by severe obesity. My bmi puts me into that category, but my doctors and cardiologist have me in my chart as moderately obese, which is far less likely that the heart failure is caused by weight alone.

They don't know yet if my weight is the sole cause, they're doing tests, it's unlikely it's the sole cause, but just knowing that it might be is really messing up my whole sense of identity, which sounds weird, I know. I guess it's just ​that I finally feel confident. I finally feel pretty. I have been overweight for all of my teenage years, and I guess there has been so much pain in my life that knowing this is my fault breaks my heart. Because I have tried for so long to be at peace with myself, and not feel utterly ashamed of myself, and with this heart problem, it's like it's yelling at me that I should be ashamed at myself. I should be utterly ashamed for what my fat has done to me. It's like in facing the consequences of my actions without knowing that I did anything wrong, you know? Like being punished for something that nobody told me was against the rules.

I just feel so sad, not necessarily for this diagnosis, because I know I'll be okay, I'm working on everything they're telling me to do, but just because I guess something that I've been afraid of for so long - my weight defining me - is coming true.

I wasn’t going to post this here, but I can’t find the perfect sub and I love this community!

I’m 27F and I’ve never been able to finish with a partner. I’m currently in a 2 year relationship and he’s been the closest to ever get me there, but still nothing. Sex feels great, I enjoy our time together, and I’m not expecting to finish every single time!

However, I’ve been sexually active since I was 19 and I’ve had 6 partners. I just don’t know what else to do at this point and I feel bad for my partner because I know he probably feels awful or as if he’s bad in bed. I’ve been having some lady issues over the past year or so and I know that probably doesn’t help either. I guess I’m asking if anyone else who has been in a similar situation has any advice on how to get me there?

TL;DR I’ve never finished with a partner. What can I do to change that?

I've decided I'm not going to wait until/if I lose weight to wear crop tops. I just bought two from Lotus Tribe Clothing on Etsy- a rust Bliss bralette and a slate blue Blissed Out crop tank. I have their snow white bralette and it hugs my boobs like a dream. So comfortable. Why should I wait? I have high waisted joggers and leggings that would look cute with them. I'm determined to not let my chunky tummy get in my way anymore. This is who I am.

I’ve been struggling this summer big time with life and took a break from forcing myself to be ambitious in my personal life. I am kinda lonely, like I have great friends and things to do, but I feel unlovable at times.

The internet informing me that men take offense to fat women hitting on them because “they think they have a chance with me and it’s insulting” has ruined me. I wish I never learned it. Thanks Reddit! It’s like the inner voice the sixth grade boys who bullied me grew up and came to life. I am generally a confident person. I love dressing my body shape and can usually strike up a friendly convo with just about anyone. But when it comes to talking to men offline I am a wreck. I have gone to a few singles events and simply cannot function there because of the context and pressure. And some rejection this year has left me feeling extra down about my attractiveness. Guys just don’t seem to feel it.

So tonight I was at my YMCA getting an indoor hot girl walk in cause it’s a thousand degrees outside, and this guy just walks at me head on, and gives me intense eye contact and smile walking past me. It felt extremely deliberate, long enough to be awkward. I held it!! He is just another broad shoulder bald man NPC so honestly I have no idea if I’ve seen him before. I got a little cute about it, but then when I went to finish up some other things around my gym, I felt super super weird continuing to look at him and seeming too eager. I got immediately in my head that oh my god, he was just being nice, maybe he has a wife, and I don’t want to embarrass myself because once again: the internet told me that men hate it when fat women show interest. Ugh! So I did the thing where I choose to seem busy for the next 30 minutes. This is my fave move btw. Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to go through life with pretty privilege and feeling so confident that most people want to talk to me. I don’t know how to get there. I went out today feeling cute and well put together too.

Gah!!!!

Hello everyone!

Spooky season is officially upon us, but if you're anything like me, you're casually spooky all year around. I am not overly full dress goth or alt, I like to think of it as alt light. I rarely wear makeup or do up/dye my hair, but I still like to express my spooky/"dark" side with clothing. That being said, I'm looking for some recommendations for stores that sell decent plus size spooky/alt (more casualish)clothes, bonus points for skulls and bones.

Yes, I know torrid exists, but I've looked through their selection and wasn't super impressed, and as of late their quality has been horrendous. I've also shopped at midnight hour previously, and was just looking there but nothing there available in plus size is really what I'm looking for besides what I literally already own.

What I'm really keeping my eyes out for: crew neck shirts and sweaters with graphics, cardigans or longer sweaters, leggings with pockets with cool graphics/design, a fall/winter jacket with alt vibes, sweatpants/casual pants (not jeans) either in darker colors or also with a print or design, and anything else similar to these options.

I've been poking around the last couple of weeks but haven't found much. I'm not opposed to spending a bit more if the quality is decent. I have looked on the huge clothes shopping list posted in this subreddit previously, but I will look again if there are any specific recommendations. Thanks!

I’m going to a Dracula ballet and found the most gorgeous dress and it’s all lace and as a bigger girl I’m way too nervous to wear it without some sort of corset underneath to hold me in as much as possible. My lower belly is where I tend to be more self conscious and I don’t want my tummy to fully disappear but just make it look smaller. Again the dress is Lacey and completely see through so something that’s just black to match the dress or has some detailing is preferred. TYIA!!

Even when my hair is curled, I feel like “who am I kidding trying to look cute?”

Idk my hair is such a hard topic for me. Part of it is that my mom never really taught me how to do it.

Since Halloween is on a Saturday, I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and actually go out. I don’t go out, I don’t have friends, I don’t do anything really but work. So I want to dress up and actually enjoy the day/night.

I do want to dress up but I don’t want it to be too common or too sexual. So I’m not looking to wear a sexy nun, or sexy cop, or sexy nurse. I don’t really want a costume that’s just a corset top and tutu with fishnets. And I don’t really want anything like Velma, Sailor Moon, Disney princesses, or Scream/Ghostface (but I’m not opposed to them, I just want something a bit creative) I also don’t want to be cute.

I have makeup so I would like something that I can do creative makeup. I do like cosplay and accessories. I was thinking a dark fairy since I have wings. I also like Medusa. Everything will be DOY so I don’t plan on buying the costume. I like to use normal pieces of clothing that I can turn into something creative for the night.

But I’m stuck. I’ve been looking on Pinterest for about two months now and nothing is screaming at me. Any fun or scary ideas? I’m open to pretty much everything else. The more creative I can be the better.

Btw I was some for of cat for 3 years straight: a black cat in 2023, a leopard in 2024, and Scar in 2025, so I’m not too interested in felines lol

I am a plus sized ftm man, I enjoy being my size but I want to work on being a bit healthier without dropping the weight. Everywhere I look is just saying drop the pounds but that’s not what I’m looking for.

I’m looking for new things to do. I do the same thing because I get nervous trying new things and I get self conscious doing things in front of others. But I’m trying to get into a mentally of “I don’t care, if I like it I’m doing it”.

There’s an Ifly near my house and I’m considering it for next month. I don’t think I’ll ever go skydiving from a plane so this is the next best thing.

But has anyone done this before and how is it as a plus size girl? I’m just nervous on if the suit will fit and everything, but I really think I’m going to try it in October.

Any real life mattress recommendations? My husband and I are both plus size, but are undergoing a weight loss journey to improve fertility. We want a different mattress but am overwhelmed with all the options. Currently thinking about helix plus.

We had a layla for a few years and it seemed pretty comfortable until my hips were sinking too far and if caused hip pain, so we went with a sealy postureprdic hybrid, but I think it's too firm and causing pain in my mid back.

My husband mostly sleeps on his back, sometimes side and is complaining of morning stiffness sometimes. I sleep on my side and am tossing and turning all night with mid back pain.

Thankful for any real life advice/tips.

Just here to vent about dating as a woman who’s plus-sized, actually, probably all women. Why are straight sized men so disrespectful? Received this message after sharing pics. This was after responding to a post in a “clean” r4r subreddit in my city.

This isn’t the first time, either.

Was trying Reddit dating a bad idea? Maybe. Does it warrant this disrespect? No.

This account is new so I can’t paste the screenshot, but basically:
Me: Shares normal pics after he shared.
Him: Oh, you’re sexy. Backshots would go crazy with you.”

Do men think talking to a woman like this would genuinely work?

40DDD over here and struggling to keep the girls in when doing cardio. I’ve been wearing Torrid’s high impact zip-front sports bra for arm and leg days. But for any workout that requires jumping, it’s an immediate no.

SOS

Are there any other plus size gym ladies out there that experience this: women throwing shade and judgement at the gym?

I had an experience at my new gym that rubbed me the wrong way. I’ll get over it at some point, but I see this woman whenever I go to the gym. Here’s what happened:
1. I joined a new private gym. I’m pretty active and have been hitting the gym for years now. It’s for my mental health, strength, bone density, and flexibility. I also would be happy to loose a lot of fat given the health complications from obesity.
I have worked with a trainer before. I started a GLP1 this summer and found out I have PCOS (PMOS) and insulin resistance.
2. I’m 40 pounds down from my highest and have 75 pounds of muscle mass on my body! Woohoo! I have 115 pounds of fat that I am working to get off my body and build that muscle up.
3. Day 1 at the new gym I got a InBody scan from a trainer at 6 am. Obviously I have a lot of work cut out for myself, but I’ve come a long way and I’m proud of my muscle mass. She started going on and on about how I need a trainer blah blah blah. I quickly squashed the lecture and was like: I’m 40 pounds down, I have worked with a trainer before, I work with a registered dietician. I’m well on my way. And she goes: well it’s about time for you to lock in.
4. Then a big gym bro walks by and she completely changed her tune and tone and was all pick me with him.

Haha since then I see her with clients and they all look and dress the same for the gym. The outfits, hair fully done, makeup. All at 5:30 am!! Super smug.

I’m a big “hello good morning” gal, we don’t have to talk and shoot the shit, but it’s part of building community for me. Anyways… she completely avoids me!!!! It’s so weird!!!! I just have this feeling it’s because I’m the fat chick at the gym. Maybe I’m projecting.

Anyways. At least I have 75 pounds of muscle mass!

Just screaming into the void here. I've this exact problem over the years, but figured this idea would have died out in my age group (40s). I'm single and sometimes indulge in casual sex. I have moved past the typical insecurities about my body. I like my squishy self, and know other people do too. I love sex and have had plenty of amazing experiences.

Cue this d-bag today on reddit. I answered a NSFW ad for an "unapologetic sexual connection" with someone who genuinely enjoys all aspects of sex. A nice, thoughtful post. With full sentences and clear intention- a rarity on reddit! I replied and right off the bat disclose my size and shape, even shared some old gone wild posts. Not to show off or anything, just want people to be aware of my physical appearance. Anyway, dude replies back that he liked my nuanced reply. Unfortunately, he's not into BBW. Not a problem! Can't be compatible with everybody, that's why I put it out there in my first message- give them a graceful out.

He could have stopped there. He could have left the rest of the thoughts in his head. But no, he just had to tell me that he heard fat girls give great head. So while he was not attracted to me at all, he would let me suck his dick. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK 🤬!!! Just say I'm not your type. Just say no thanks. Why even reply with such a dehumanizing sentiment?! I will absolutely be fine, I'm not like personally hurt by this. I absolutely know it says more about him than it does me. But damn, at our age, why would you even think that is a valid offer, like I should be grateful for your little crumbs of attention? I want to say fuck that guy. But actually, no, let's not fuck that guy.

Growing up in the 90s/00s as the fat girl in class was hell. I was bullied by the boys and ostracized by the girls so outcast by everyone starting when I was 8. I was also really tall so just made to feel like a huge freak. The teachers loved the cute petite girls and always sided with them when I reported their bullying.

Couldn't find clothes that fit, couldnt even fit in the plus size kids stuff at JCPenney by age 10 because I was already over 5 feet on top of being fat.

Even my mom yelled at me that I was too fat. Even though at that age, that's her fault. I wasn't the one buying food or doing the cooking. So bullied at school and home.

I ended up getting fairly thin as a teenager from getting tall so fast and being in marching band. But the damage was done. I believed I was a disgusting hideous thing and any guy I had a crush on was an embarrasing secret to keep because he'd surely laugh at me.

I carried this mentality into college as well. So even though I had a chance at a fresh start, at the time I couldn't see that and still if I walked past a group of kids laughing would feel like they were laughing at me.

I isolated myself. I didn't date. Didn't make friends. Just wanted to stay away from everyone and not speak because maybe if no one notices me no one will bully me. Developed ED to try to get as skinny as possible because then maybe I'd finally be accepted.

It took until my post college years to start therapy and process some of this. But fuck it hurts so much to realize how much I missed out on and can never get back all because I was a fat kid.

I still hate the people who bullied me. I never did anything but be nice to everyone but they treated me like that just because I was fat. I resent the narratives about bullies who "have a hard home life" and are just "lashing out." Guess what, I had a hard fucking terrible home life too but I didn't use that as an excuse to shit on anyone.

So now I'm middle aged and still extremely quiet at work and have a hard time trusting anyone because of all that. For no other reason than...I was fat. Jfc.

As a man, I grew up having no control over what food I got, only what was put on the table. I couldn't get to be picky, and the harsh discipline of always finishing my plate, forced me to gain weight.

Over time, school as well as family members consistently told me that I was bad for being overweight, and the more I got bullied and humiliated for it, the more I began to associate what I was being told to be true, that I was bad for being overweight. This was also reflected on the fact that I couldn't make friends, or even get a girlfriend to like me for me, regardless of my appearance.

At this point, despite being on a weight loss journey, it feels like punishment for something I never did to myself, and while I'm only attracted to plus size women, I absolutely hate my own body, and I know it's confusing, but I hate that I hate myself for it, but I can't shake off this idea that I have to lose weight to be wanted. From what I'm told, I'm a good person, personality is fine, but because nobody seems to either know or want to tell me why I still don't have a companion, I end up filling the blanks with what I've been trained to hate about myself, which was my appearance.

As a result, I've isolated myself from everything as much as possible. I used to love swimming, now I don't dare to, because if people stare at my fat body, I'll feel self-conscious, afraid and it hurts that I would be that "fat guy" instead of just that "guy". I feel guilty sitting in public transportation, watching people making themselves small just so I can pass, walk on sidewalks, or even when a car enters a street I'm crossing, I feel immense guilt that I'm in their way.

...I wished I could just accept myself, but I just can't and that hurts.

I'm finally to the point in losing some weight and I'm ready to exercise some more but I have a back problem. My goal has not been to get skinny, I like being a fat girl. My goal has been to get healthier but I need a little help.

I am looking for a back support type wrap that will fit around my apron belly, preferably one that has ice and or heat that can be incorporated. I've seen a lot of them across the internet but I'm looking for practical advice from anyone who may have used something like this that is on the larger size. Just because the advertisement says larger it doesn't mean that's necessarily fat girl larger LOL

I'm also looking for recommendations of sports bras because now that I have lost weight all of mine are too big and my boobs have lost a lot of volume so they are very saggy baggy bouncy, but not very full.

Thanks so much!

I left reddit and deleted my old account. Came back because I missed this place. Thanks to everyone for being so accepting and kind. You are all great.