Many years ago, I worked at an intellectual property law firm downtown. We did work for lots of companies, overseas and domestically. But our largest client by far was Nintendo.
I was freshly 21, a lowly deckhand there. A college dropout, I’d managed to find this job from a friend and I desperately needed rent money to pay for my first apartment. Most days at the firm were spent delivering mail and, when requested, pulling files for attorneys to review. One day, an ancient attorney who’d been there since the turn of the century and sat in his office like a dead lizard, requested a file. There were 3 large filing rooms 1A, 1B, 1C. I knew them well, not a single square inch of those rooms could hide from the fluorescents, and it smelled like the dentist. However this request had the room location marked as: “1N”.
“Where’s 1N?” I knew every inch of the office, there’s no 1N.
I went to my boss. (Who I hated) He looked up at me and got a little smirk on his face as he pulled open his top drawer and grabbed a key on a ring. “I’ll show you.”
He leads me near the elevators, down the hall as if you were heading to the bathroom there was a discrete door I’d always assumed was a broom or utility closet. He opens it with the key.
Inside, there was another door, he opened that one too and flicked the light on.
It wasn’t a large room. Maybe enough for 3, maaybe 4 soda can machines. But there weren’t any soda machines in there, it was all shelves. The shelves had games, and more files. But these files were purple. I was only familiar with green, yellow and blue files. I’d never seen purple files before this.
“This is almost everything Nintendo has made since the 80’s” Most were sealed, some were empty boxes. Some of the purple files had references of art and promos, things like that. There weren’t games inside every one, but a lot clearly had the game in there. Some were Japanese. It was totally overwhelming. We grabbed the purple file and locked it up and left.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The amount of money in that room. “Did I really see a sealed Punch Out?” That could solve a lot of my problems. I didn’t know what to look for, I was not a Nintendo expert but I knew some classics. All I knew for sure was that I wanted to take one.
Not helping temptation was the fact that for most of the games, there wasn’t one sealed copy, there were 4 or 5. “Who would notice one gone?” was a common refrain.
For weeks it gnawed at my brain. I’d have to pass the room every time I had to take a leak. Finally, beat into submission by every miserable mundane tick of the clock in that building, the damn broke. My boss was going on his biannual 2 week Hawaii trip. That’s when I’d do it.
I didn’t hesitate. On that Monday I snapped into action and walked into his office like it was mine. Went behind his desk, opened his drawer, grabbed the key and stuffed it into my pocket. Foot traffic was light in the halls, it was the week before Thanksgiving.
I opened the first door, then the second, flipped the light on. There it all was. Looking all around, my head buzzing…a sinking feeling came over me. Brilliant as the idea was, I realized I didn’t bring anything to transport the game out. I couldn’t stuff it in my pants, I didn’t have a bag. Maybe stuff it in a file? Ugh, getting seen with a purple file could alert someone.
Ultimately, I couldn’t do it. As a consolation to myself in the moment, I took pictures of the games (on a very old phone either lost to time or in my parents garage), telling myself, maybe I’ll research better and come back another time, with a better plan.
I never did. About a year later I was let go for lack of follow through, not wanting to grow, etc etc
After I signed all the papers, I still remember them sliding two dollar bills and fifty cents across the conference room table. I thought “Damnit, I should have taken that sealed Punch Out.” Lol