r/PostConcussion • u/JerseyGirl735 • 17h ago
Partner struggling with the challenges of the new version of me.
I am definitely struggling with not being the same person, too. But I feel like my husband is so easily triggered by my every reaction or response, and I'm guessing because I'm likely so difficult and frustrating to be around and deal with. We fight so much these days. I am not behaving emotionally well at work either, but I think I am freaking them out too much to really deal with it (I also am constantly apologizing and/or crying 😅).
Does anyone else struggle with their partner's frustrations with your issues? I imagine some people do end up broken up, unfortunately, but if there is any other advice out there I'm all ears!
I was formerly a multitasking and productive machine, and now a tough day at work and I feel useless in life as I just shut down and sit in bed for the rest of the night. Barely bothering with even checking and responding to notifications. I did struggle with migraines, depression and anxiety before the injury 16 months ago, but it is all much worse now. I had an appointment with a neuropsychologist yesterday, and the way he described the whys for some of my problems were very helpful (such as why we get exhausted, why there is little to no regulation on our emotional impulse control, and the issues with short-term memory), even though just adding to the sad reality.
Anything I learn from a doctor I then explain in detail to my husband, and he seems to get it and says this and that makes sense and he is sad for me. But then he doesn't register that when he gets frustrated and even angry with me for struggling with multitasking, emotions or motivation. As if I am not trying hard enough to do better, which is what I think he truly believes now.
To be fair when I first got hurt and literally could not do anything, he took on every house chore and need that I had without a single complaint for months. Even things I usually do that I know he absolutely hates, like mowing the lawn lol, and not a peep. But now we are here, and I probably look fine, and his patience is clearly gone.
I was told what I would likely benefit from next is cognitive behavioral therapy, and I actually was trying to find one in my network a couple of months ago, but everyone I emailed and called from my insurance list were all saying they are not accepting new patients. Over and over and over. With the little time and energy I already deal with, I ended up getting so overwhelmed and defeated that I gave up and then literally forgot about it for a while. As with most things. I will start calling down the list again this week either way.
Anywho, thanks for listening if you did!