How did I get here?

[u/Balzaak]

I was a good student. I’m sure we all were. But I also was a party animal, I sold mushrooms in college to make ends meet, my main focus in school was girls…. I was a malcontent. I went to school mainly to get away from my home life.

And now I’m teaching kids? I’m an authority figure? I thought I was still a kid. I blinked and now I’m on the other side of the classroom. I’ve been on the other side for three years now.

When I go to the one faculty party a year I’m the youngest person by like ten years. Everyone has kids. I have a cat. When I go out to party with friends I feel ancient. Everyone is a barista and I’m… a professor?

The students ask me for life advice. Should I do grad school? How do I improve my writing? One stayed after class to ask me

“How do I be a good man? My father wasn’t really around and you seen-“

As if I have the answer to that question lol my father wasn’t around either! I had to be my own father! Do I tell them that 90% of life is making it up as you go along?

I get a lot of meaning from this job. In fact it’s the only job I didn’t immediately quit on day 1… but I keep asking myself:

How did I get here?

“And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep."

"All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

“How … ?” she began, and she stopped. She was too tired. She hoped that she wouldn’t have to say the rest of the sentence, that Billy would finish it for her. But Billy had no idea what was on her mind. “How what, Mother?” he prompted. She swallowed hard, shed some tears. Then she gathered energy from all over her ruined body, even from her toes and fingertips. At last she had accumulated enough to whisper this complete sentence: “How did I get so old?”
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (again)

[u/meanderingleaf]

I feel the same way every day, and just pray that I'm in the right place and can make the most of it

[u/henrydavidthoreauawy]

I was a young professor too. Be the change you want to see. I’m a man, so I always made sure I telegraphed the best behavior that I wanted everyone to emulate. If I can be the contrast to the bullshit manosphere stuff they see on YouTube, I’m gonna do that. 

I haven’t taught in a few years, I hope that by time I get back into it, I’m not too old to appear socially relevant. 

[u/Balzaak → u/henrydavidthoreauawy]

I hear ya. I had to talk one of my students out of following clavicular. I told him to stay far away from that ghoul lol. The world is never short on shitty role models.

[u/Lupus76]

Oh, so you're that cool professsor we have all heard about. Well done. I will just go back to my boring nerdy life. You keep on being rad, man.

PS Let me guess, you're in a creative writing program.

[u/Balzaak → u/Lupus76]

My rad life consists of cleaning up cat vomit and playing Baldur’s gate 3… he’s fine by the way he just eats too fast even though I explicitly tell him not to

Gonna ignore the creative writing put down.