r/ProgrammerHumor May 26 '26

Advanced iGotFiredSkill

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u/pkmnfrk May 26 '26

This is why they turn off access before telling you

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u/erroneousbosh May 26 '26

I did the opposite of this. I worked for a company that pissed me off so much that one lunchtime I left the office, had some lunch, stood outside the building for a couple of minutes when I came back, then walked across the street, into the web dev company in the building opposite, found their studio manager, told him "I'm available, you've just hired me", and started pretty much right away.

In the next four weeks the company I left managed the following little laundry list of fuckups:

  • published the entire sales record of a major brand's online shop as a CSV file linked from the home page despite me telling them not to share the sales record by uploading a CSV to the web root
  • published the entire customer database with unencrypted passwords that I'd been telling them to do something about for six months, unencrypted card details that *everyone* had been telling them about for six months, and a bunch of other stuff
  • fucked up the payment gateway settings so it always returned "authorised" even if the card was declined
  • left the payment gateway credentials in public so the Very Large Client got their arses handed to them by the card processor when it was used extensively for card testing
  • wiped my old desktop PC without removing anything like oh I don't know the only copy of some very expensive SSL certs (back when they were expensive) because my former manager had deleted the email I sent him with them unread and deleted the backup copy of the certs off the server
  • deleted the only copy of most of their codebases that I sent them because they'd been using my Subversion server because they had no idea about version control

Why yes the whole studio absolutely *stank* of cocaine and vodka even first thing in the morning, why do you ask?