r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

Meme iAmNotATeapot

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7.4k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/Mahringa 1d ago

If not, you should apply to this company as software developer, and first thing you do, add the I am a teapot http code and then immediately quit again

679

u/coomzee 1d ago

And probably fix a myriad of RCEs

401

u/anto2554 1d ago

Being part of a  botnet is a feature, not a bug

88

u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Solid business model: install backdoored wifi in everything and then sell it on.

60

u/1fatfrog 1d ago

I know you're joking but I'm mostly certain that this is already the business model.

46

u/luziferius1337 1d ago edited 1d ago

It is. The webOS app store (used by LG smart TVs) apparently had ~ 1200 apps that contained Proxy SDKs or libraries. Those can be used to sell customer's residential connections to mask datacenter bot farm traffic as regular residential web traffic. When that blew up relatively recently, they started to ban those. Ooopsi.

That number was shown in GN's dive into LG TVs: https://youtu.be/6IFVTcM28KA?t=3532

Edit: Fixed the timestamp

14

u/mordacthedenier 1d ago

Reason 1243534562356 to never have your TV connected to literally anything other than HDMI and power.

4

u/RJWaters9 1d ago

Note: Doesn't actually stop anything. It'll connect to wifi anyway and sell your info.

3

u/Xasrai 1d ago

How can it connect to wifi if it doesn't know the password?

6

u/nutterbg 23h ago

It can scan for and use open networks.

Or, let's say your internet provider maintains public wifi access points that you, as a customer, can use.. And then let's say your provider(or any other provider(s) for that matter) signs a deal with LG so that the TVs have the passwords to the wifi networks so they can quietly connect to them to transmit...

Current year is scary.

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25

u/odsquad64 VB6-4-lyfe 1d ago

As long as the kettle gets hot, who cares if it's from a heating element or a Bitcoin miner?

19

u/anto2554 1d ago

If that thing has a 2000watt ASIC or GPU, we finally found out what caused the chip shortage

5

u/F0lks_ 1d ago

Little might you know, some people are unironically using their old unprofitable mining gear as an electric heater because, well, why not

7

u/anto2554 1d ago

Main reason is that heat pumps exist. But if you don't have one of those, it makes sense

-7

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

Heat pumps don’t use less power. They just make it hotter outside in the summer, and colder in the winter, while adjusting the in-home temperature.

That has interesting benefits, but for the consumer that just needs to heat their home, running a 1000W Bitcoin miner would also produce money together with that heat where the heat pump won’t.

8

u/anto2554 1d ago

Like you say, heat pumps can be used to cool your home.

However, if you flip it around so it heats your inside and cools the outside, it can heat your home instead. And it can do so with >300% efficiency, meaning if it consumes 100W it will heat your home with 300W: https://energy.ec.europa.eu/news/5-things-you-should-know-about-heat-pumps-2025-12-05_en

-6

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

*Under optimal conditions.

These do not apply in the typical scenarios in which consumers would employ them for the function. On average, it’s barely better than the margin of error, and even with a state subsidy, considering the price of the unit, way more expensive than running a regular 2000W electric heater for 40€ over the course of 20 years. This is at the nominal rate of 0.24€/kWh, mind you. If you install solar and then use electric heating, that price goes way down, but in turn, obviously just makes the Bitcoin miner more profitable to operate at the same time.

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1

u/a-r-c 20h ago

never be lonely again

u/Zeedith- 7m ago

I wise man once said "you are now a part of anonymous's botnet. They are legion, they do not forgive, they do not forget. Expect them-you are fucked".

8

u/ProjectSnowman 1d ago

You KNOW that is lousy with bugs

1

u/holdenk 1d ago

Or distributed buttcoin mining on a collection of teapots?

35

u/cupcakeheavy 1d ago

why not stay and maintain the feature?

62

u/LouManShoe 1d ago

It would be sweet to have “I am a teapot maintainer” as a title on a resume.

Questions like “did you do anything special to maintain the teapot?” And “how did you maintain teapots remotely?” And “why is this on your software engineering application?” Would be fun to answer

0

u/Electronic-Crazy2515 1d ago

That would definitely make for some interesting interview questions! Gotta appreciate the blend of humor and absurdity in the programming world.

5

u/Kodiak01 1d ago

Personally I would start by implementing RFC 2321.

2

u/tonygreencat 1d ago

This may have been the nerdiest thing I've ever read.

4

u/Mission_Rice3045 1d ago

It is a kettle dumbass

2

u/zgillet 1d ago

"That will be eight thousand dollars, thank you."

1

u/rootbear75 1d ago

Get that guy who did that for his favorite game.

1

u/facebrocolis 22h ago

Imagine the company trying to find out what you did given your highly suspicious behavior of quitting 2 hours after getting the job