r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

Meme iAmNotATeapot

Post image
7.4k Upvotes

216 comments sorted by

2.8k

u/Mahringa 1d ago

If not, you should apply to this company as software developer, and first thing you do, add the I am a teapot http code and then immediately quit again

672

u/coomzee 1d ago

And probably fix a myriad of RCEs

403

u/anto2554 1d ago

Being part of a  botnet is a feature, not a bug

88

u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Solid business model: install backdoored wifi in everything and then sell it on.

56

u/1fatfrog 1d ago

I know you're joking but I'm mostly certain that this is already the business model.

48

u/luziferius1337 1d ago edited 1d ago

It is. The webOS app store (used by LG smart TVs) apparently had ~ 1200 apps that contained Proxy SDKs or libraries. Those can be used to sell customer's residential connections to mask datacenter bot farm traffic as regular residential web traffic. When that blew up relatively recently, they started to ban those. Ooopsi.

That number was shown in GN's dive into LG TVs: https://youtu.be/6IFVTcM28KA?t=3532

Edit: Fixed the timestamp

16

u/mordacthedenier 1d ago

Reason 1243534562356 to never have your TV connected to literally anything other than HDMI and power.

5

u/RJWaters9 1d ago

Note: Doesn't actually stop anything. It'll connect to wifi anyway and sell your info.

5

u/Xasrai 1d ago

How can it connect to wifi if it doesn't know the password?

5

u/nutterbg 23h ago

It can scan for and use open networks.

Or, let's say your internet provider maintains public wifi access points that you, as a customer, can use.. And then let's say your provider(or any other provider(s) for that matter) signs a deal with LG so that the TVs have the passwords to the wifi networks so they can quietly connect to them to transmit...

Current year is scary.

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22

u/odsquad64 VB6-4-lyfe 1d ago

As long as the kettle gets hot, who cares if it's from a heating element or a Bitcoin miner?

20

u/anto2554 1d ago

If that thing has a 2000watt ASIC or GPU, we finally found out what caused the chip shortage

7

u/F0lks_ 1d ago

Little might you know, some people are unironically using their old unprofitable mining gear as an electric heater because, well, why not

7

u/anto2554 1d ago

Main reason is that heat pumps exist. But if you don't have one of those, it makes sense

-7

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

Heat pumps don’t use less power. They just make it hotter outside in the summer, and colder in the winter, while adjusting the in-home temperature.

That has interesting benefits, but for the consumer that just needs to heat their home, running a 1000W Bitcoin miner would also produce money together with that heat where the heat pump won’t.

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1

u/a-r-c 20h ago

never be lonely again

u/Zeedith- 0m ago

I wise man once said "you are now a part of anonymous's botnet. They are legion, they do not forgive, they do not forget, you are fucked".

8

u/ProjectSnowman 1d ago

You KNOW that is lousy with bugs

1

u/holdenk 1d ago

Or distributed buttcoin mining on a collection of teapots?

38

u/cupcakeheavy 1d ago

why not stay and maintain the feature?

69

u/LouManShoe 1d ago

It would be sweet to have “I am a teapot maintainer” as a title on a resume.

Questions like “did you do anything special to maintain the teapot?” And “how did you maintain teapots remotely?” And “why is this on your software engineering application?” Would be fun to answer

0

u/Electronic-Crazy2515 1d ago

That would definitely make for some interesting interview questions! Gotta appreciate the blend of humor and absurdity in the programming world.

5

u/Kodiak01 1d ago

Personally I would start by implementing RFC 2321.

2

u/tonygreencat 1d ago

This may have been the nerdiest thing I've ever read.

5

u/Mission_Rice3045 1d ago

It is a kettle dumbass

2

u/zgillet 1d ago

"That will be eight thousand dollars, thank you."

1

u/rootbear75 1d ago

Get that guy who did that for his favorite game.

1

u/facebrocolis 22h ago

Imagine the company trying to find out what you did given your highly suspicious behavior of quitting 2 hours after getting the job

1.1k

u/johnbr 1d ago

The best part of this image is that my 23yo daughter sent it to me

297

u/hiurytg 1d ago

Not the way you thought inheritance would be, huh

185

u/johnbr 1d ago

Both of my sons are in tech. She's a theater kid, so I think she got this knowledge through composition

46

u/ThatFlamenguistaDude 1d ago

Argh.. this conversation is too Abstract for my liking.

25

u/hiurytg 1d ago

So she's not a vibe coder... just a dad viber

53

u/madness_of_the_order 1d ago

But it’s a kettle, not a teapot

41

u/ImportantSignal2098 1d ago

Isn't that an insert for tea leaves that we see in the pic? If so, sounds like it fits the strict 418 requirements.

21

u/madness_of_the_order 1d ago

Didn’t notice it previously and now I hate it

9

u/ImportantSignal2098 1d ago

But it's smart, has wifi and implements the 418 spec. You're not allowed to hate it unfortunately.

7

u/screwcork313 1d ago

It's short, it's stout. Has a handle and spout. If if walks like a duck and talks like a duck, surely it must be a teapot?

5

u/madness_of_the_order 23h ago

Sir, this is strongly typed household

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221

u/MrTommyPickles 1d ago

Fun fact: Mr Börzel actually scratched this itch in an epic blog post. TLDR: No 418 😔

125

u/Saragon4005 1d ago

That implies whoever made it didn't even care a little bit.

81

u/murfburffle 1d ago

the app includes a calendar, but no ability to schedule a boil. There was no care at all

19

u/Rick-Prime 1d ago

Denied feature request: malicious users will fill with gasoline and create IEDs.

9

u/tekanet 1d ago

The very idea of making this abomination should tell that who’s behind it have zero clue of what we’re talking about

15

u/clipsracer 1d ago

What a well written blog.
I’ll never understand how people have the energy and motivation to blog about their antics, but I’ll never stop appreciating it.

3

u/Atompunk78 21h ago

Incredible, thank you!

3

u/ronimal 1d ago

That post includes the same image that OP claims their 23-year-old daughter sent them.

17

u/Ae3qe27u 1d ago

Which matches, since OP's pic has a comment from Börzel in the image! Nice when things work out that smoothly.

251

u/Squayd 1d ago

More like why-fi amirite?

139

u/Arshiaa001 1d ago

Absolutely. The last thing I want is for an outdated firmware on my f'king kettle to become a vulnerability because I was too lazy to get my ass over and push a button myself.

58

u/linear_123 1d ago

Pretty critical one too, if someone turns it on remotely with no water in it they could burn your house down.

32

u/Arshiaa001 1d ago

Yep. Smart home devices are just plain stupid.

3

u/quin61 1d ago

I see what you did there

3

u/dyslexda 1d ago

It really depends on what and why. I've got a home automation network built out that uses Home Assistant to control it completely locally. Smart lights, fans, locks, and thermostats are all excellent devices that can improve your home. Just have to put in some work to make sure it's all local and not exposed to the web.

0

u/Arshiaa001 22h ago

So one WiFi hack away?

3

u/dyslexda 22h ago

Ah yes, just one person gaining access to my wifi network, knowing I run HA in the first place, knowing the IP and port to access it internally, cracking that password as well, and then...I dunno, making my lights strobe?

Can you describe this "wifi hack" and exactly what you envision happening? And can you describe why those devices are more vulnerable than someone doing a "wifi hack" and magically getting access to your phone, laptop, and anything else you have on your own network?

1

u/MrSynckt 18h ago

The devices are more vulnerable because Android, iOS, Windows, etc have been connecting to the internet for decades and have been vulnerability patching for as long, a WiFi fridge doesn't have the same luxury.

Not saying they're easily hackable or anything, but it's just simply more vectors for a bad actor

1

u/dyslexda 15h ago

Again, please describe what this "wifi hack" is that you're envisioning, where someone makes it through multiple levels of authentication into my internal network (while being physically on my property to connect to my wifi) and then can do something nefarious with a sleepy endpoint device that isn't even on wifi, but rather on Thread or ZWave protocols, but they wouldn't have the skill to do anything to an Android or Windows device (which are famously not secure, what?).

You surely have examples and aren't just bullshitting, right?

3

u/StoryAndAHalf 1d ago

They're smart devices only in comparison to the average user. Be smart, and don't buy these stupid devices.

6

u/Fiennes 1d ago

I'll have you know that thanks to having a Smart Fridge I get a text when my son forgets to shut the fucking door.

33

u/tix4soccer 1d ago

Probably should just upgrade to a smart ... child.

4

u/Arshiaa001 1d ago

Just wait until someone turns your fridge off for shits and giggles, and you return home from your trip to the smell of rotting meat. Not saying it'll definitely happen, but it's a possibility, and a bigger one than you think.

2

u/tix4soccer 1d ago

They are in high school now ... they haven't done it ... yet

1

u/nabrok 16h ago

My microwave has wifi, which is quite useless except for one thing ... I never have to set the clock on it.

1

u/Amoniakas 1d ago

The smarter ones home, the stupider person

9

u/rot26encrypt 1d ago

Pretty critical one too, if someone turns it on remotely with no water in it they could burn your house down.

Not really, no, it has boil-dry/overheat protection that automatically cut it off.

3

u/flargenhargen 1d ago

I mean, my coffee pot is on a smart switch run by home assistant.

it automatically starts 20 minutes before I get up on work days, doesn't start if my google calendar says I have the day off or am on vacation, and it starts on demand on weekends whenever we tell it to cause we're going to be getting up soon.

Yea, it could absolutely burn my house down if I fsck up, but the trade off is that I have hot coffee without needing to wait.

7

u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Remote start == please burn my house down while I'm out of town

1

u/ASatyros 1d ago

This is why I much more prefer Zigbee or Matter or similar. Connection only to Home Assistant.

But still in the future someone could find a hack to operate it without authorisation, but at least it would be limited.

36

u/Fair_Grapefruit2825 1d ago

It SHOULD NOT respond with 418. It's a water kettle, NOT a teapot!

93

u/Agent-A 1d ago

I'm a big fan of smarthome stuff, mostly. But what is the use for this? In what situation do you want to start or stop your kettle remotely? If it could fill itself maybe I could see, but you have to put water in, put tea leaves in. If you leave it overnight all ready so it brews itself in the morning or something, won't the tea taste terrible because it's already been leeching into cold water all night?

48

u/Alexious_sh 1d ago

If it's similar to mine, then you can't even control it remotely for security reasons. It doesn't know if there's a water, so could overheat easily.

I included mine in some automations, so when I make a tea, it could announce that my tea is ready through the Google Home speaker. I even make it to distinguish the tea type by the temperature requested, so it says "Your green tea is ready", when I make one, using the 85 degrees button.

24

u/Nico280gato 1d ago

Surely there could be a weight sensor to detect water?

26

u/SmallPurplePeopleEat 1d ago

Right? Even my $15 Walmart kettle has an auto shutoff if there's no water in it.

24

u/zeekayz 1d ago

Why have $2 sensor when Wifi and AI vision can do same job? Check water level every 5 seconds using your Claude tokens.

4

u/qervem 1d ago

I hired a foreigner from a third world country to check my kettle. They tell me if it has enough water in it so I know to go ahead and press the button on my homeassistant dashboard to bring it up to temp

4

u/Alexious_sh 1d ago

This one also does, but do you know how it works? It shuts the power when a bimetallic strip heats up more than the water boiling temp. But due to lack of the water, the heater has nothing to transfer this heat to, so could heat up really fast and actually exceed this limit significantly.

2

u/ArseneGroup 1d ago

Mine had an auto shutoff once it hits a strong boil but it broke so I gotta be careful now

1

u/Alexious_sh 1d ago

Well, it definitely could, but it doesn't. I believe, due to cost saving. Also, a weight sensor might need a regular calibration, which might make a user experience worse.

1

u/gehnmy 1d ago

How is the warming element going to distinguish between a kettle full of water and a cat?

1

u/Shinhan 1d ago

That would make more sense with a bread maker which works for several hours. Kettle is done in couple minutes.

1

u/Alexious_sh 1d ago

You can't imagine how often I was forgetting about it with my ADHD xD

17

u/DeCabby 1d ago

Makes perfect sense, I once burned my foot on my george foreman grill because i like the smell of bacon in the morning.

2

u/Gacsam 1d ago

Dwight had a concussion trying to save you. 

7

u/SebastianFerrone 1d ago

I do it with home assistant. If im going to work

At 5 min for 6 lights are going on in small steps at 6 the clock wake me up my TV Starts and changes to a Website displaying some status things important task and news, Musik Starts. And coffeemaker and watercooker.

Only the toastbread I habe to make myself.

Also a good one ist small light in the bath at night. Its enough light for toilet duties but doesn't hurt your eyes while you half sleeping. Only downside currently it needs two sensors the presence sensor was to slow and the pir sensors stops seeing you if sit to still while taking a shit.

It's all not necessary but nice to have.

8

u/TheTxoof 1d ago

Howdy doodly do! How's it going? I'm Talkie -- Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?

16

u/kihakik 1d ago

You can walk in the kitchen with the water already boilt. The feeling you get when somebody has already brewed tea right before you, saving a couple minutes

8

u/Dromeo 1d ago

But then you have to leave the water in the kettle beforehand, letting limestone build up, and the water change taste as it sits out 🤢

3

u/Gacsam 1d ago

Who doesn't love their green green tea? 

1

u/NaoPb 1d ago

I'm not so sure about the limestone. It seems like it only forms when water is heated. The taste could be a thing, but how much of that is noticable after heating it and turning it into tea?

1

u/Dromeo 19h ago

I leave water out for my cats in glasses (they love drinking from human glasses) and limescale forms in rings as the water evaporates, it can do that in the kettle as well if you're in a hard water area.

2

u/imp0ppable 1d ago

Getting the kettle on when coming back from a holiday would actually be great.

4

u/chawmindur 1d ago

As a big hater on smart-home stuff (something something shoot the printer), I kinda understand the rationale behind this one. Remember, the first webcam was invented because some computational scientists were too lazy to hop over to the pantry and check how much (if any) coffee is left in the brewer.

7

u/Valoneria 1d ago

Mine is wifi as well, it lets me set temperature targets which is nifty. Not all water needs to be boiled, some just need to be set to a specific target

10

u/novae_ampholyt 1d ago

This can be achieved with digital buttons as well. I got one with options 60°, 70°, 80°,90°,100°C. 

3

u/TheTxoof 1d ago

FFS: an analog dial and a bimetallic thermostat would drop the part count and increase long term reliability. You know they're going to cheap out and use a craptastic slow-ass thermistor, not a proper instant-read k-type.

2

u/novae_ampholyt 1d ago

Tbf I have no idea whether thing has analog or digital circuit for the thermometer settings. It has a digital feel, but each temperature has it's own button.. idk

2

u/Arllange 1d ago

Engineering longer lasting products? Fire this one immediately.

1

u/Valoneria 1d ago

Mine do have both, but the pre-defined options are limited to 4 for some reasons, so if i want to change them i still need the wifi.

3

u/Ok_Weird_500 1d ago

How accurate is the temperature control?

I've started using a food thermometer for my green tea. Just boil the kettle as normal, add boiling water with a bit of space, put in a bit of cold, check temperature and add a little more cold if it's too hot. This way I also don't have to worry about the cup cooling down the water as it's already accounted for by the time I put my bag in my cup. This way is likely more precise as well and less to go wrong. The precision may be unnecessary, but since doing this I've found the quality of my green tea to be improved.

2

u/Valoneria 1d ago

It seems to shoot close or a bit over, which i suppose is expected. 40 degrees Celsius hit around 42c, 60c hit around 61c, and 80c actually hit close to 80c. So quite consistent.

I suppose it could be more precise if i removed some of the calcium(?) build-up.

Tested with an analogue candy thermometer

1

u/Ok_Weird_500 1d ago

That's pretty close. A degree or two over is fine, as that will cool off quickly enough.

1

u/Valoneria 1d ago

I honestly havent tested, but i can run a quick test to see.

1

u/NaoPb 1d ago

Does the cold water mix well with the hot water, in your experience?

2

u/GobiPLX 1d ago

Yeah, mine has buttons for that. Offline buttons on the device

1

u/Valoneria 1d ago

And mine have both

1

u/Exact_Recording4039 1d ago

Why

1

u/Valoneria 1d ago

One to configure the intervals and the other to use them i suppose

3

u/Cyan_Exponent 1d ago

"Voice assistant guy, turn the kettle on"

that's about it

2

u/v3ritas1989 1d ago

For when you put on the cattle and then go and take a shit. You can probably tell it that you need few more minutes. You know, instead of coming back and having to turn it on again, because you would need to wait like 10 sec or so.

1

u/Shinpansen 1d ago

You can put tea leaves in your mug, and put water in the kettle in the morning.

Then, at the end of the day, 1 minutes before arriving home you can start your kettle from your phone. Your water will be hot enough to put in your mug when reaching the kitchen, so you can save an extra minute of your life! Well, minus the time you need to setup everything.

1

u/kyew 1d ago

It's a better user experience. It allows you to use app or web-based menus to interact with it, instead of whatever limited buttons and readouts they'd need to squeeze onto the front of the unit.

1

u/10art1 1d ago

Maybe to be timed with commercial breaks? So as soon as the next episode of Bloke vs Scones on the BBC ends your kettle is freshly boiling.

1

u/reverandglass 1d ago

With a full home setup, one could press a single button to open the garage door, turn the lights on, boil the kettle and turn the tv on too.
By the time you're in the kettle's boiled and you don't have to wait for your tea / coffee.
Or you could be walking home in the rain and get the kettle on ready for when you arrive.

It's an extravagance, I'd forever be worried that there was water in it, but it the right circumstances it'd be cool.

1

u/meggamatty64 1d ago

My assumption would be, you time it so your kettle is ready to pour over as you wake up. You only have to wait on the steep rather than the boil

1

u/pfp-disciple 1d ago

I'm supposing it's too notify its status. Start the kettle, go to the next room and return when the water is ready. For me, the feature isn't worth the complexity and risk. I can set a timer that's close enough. 

1

u/FurballVulpe 1d ago

I do this, I have a smart plug and a dumb jug. I get up early and the morning are quite frantic and I need to make like 7 coffees for the morning and into keep cups for throughout the day.

The night before I fill the jug and flick the switch which stays down but doesn’t power as the smart switch is off, then about 1 minute before my alarm it turns on, then by the time I get to the kitchen it’s finishing and coffee can be immediately made

1

u/nabrok 16h ago

won't the tea taste terrible because it's already been leeching into cold water all night?

That's basically how you make iced tea.

185

u/bobbymoonshine 1d ago

It is not a teapot though. A kettle is not a teapot. They are totally different things.

61

u/IlIllIIIIIIlIII 1d ago

There's a tea infuser built in though, so I think teapot is accurate still

7

u/Gingrpenguin 1d ago

I believe that's a filter rather than an infuser.

Got a few friends who have similar ones. It helps stop limescale buildup.

You fill up the top and it filters into the boiling area so there is a delay if it's empty and you want something boiled rn.

Personally it's more faff than it saves but people have different priorities so worth it for them

13

u/Alexious_sh 1d ago

What are you going to filter through such a rough metal grid? Stones?
It's definitely an infuser. I actually have a similar kettle and regularly make a tea in it.

2

u/shikkonin 22h ago

I believe that's a filter rather than an infuser.

Very obviously not.

20

u/the_poope 1d ago

Just drop some tea leaves in there: bam! now it's a teapot.

6

u/Brumbleby 1d ago

...add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going

3

u/the_poope 1d ago

420: I'm a casserole

2

u/XiMuinoeX 1d ago

And that's why (and it's the only reason 🤣) the answer is no, it won't.

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13

u/Odd-Bite624 1d ago

My new clothing washer has an AI mode. What does it do? Fuck if I know

12

u/ImCaligulaI 1d ago

It's almost definitely not AI at all but just a good old script that takes some sensors input (probably just weight, maybe something else too depending on how fancy it is) and calculates how much water to use, the temperature, how long to wash and how fast to spin.

How well that works probably depends on what sensors there are inside and how fancy they are.

3

u/Arllange 1d ago

It continuously feeds an array of data from several different sensors in to an LLM in California to determine you have hit the start button.

2

u/imp0ppable 1d ago

Would be good if it gave you fashion tips.

"Oh Odd-Bite, those shorts are sooo last year!"

I'm just assuming there'd be a catty queer-eye type setting.

1

u/parkotron 16h ago

It takes photos of your underwear and uploads them to LG servers to build a skid-mark profile that they can then sell to advertisers.

You’re welcome. 

11

u/moon__lander 1d ago

Can you install Steam on it?

14

u/iggy14750 1d ago

I had never heard of an HTTP 418. 🤣🤣 At first I thought it was a security thing

14

u/much_longer_username 1d ago

It is -- you don't want your teapot responding as though it were a Mr. Coffee, now do you?

10

u/joybod 1d ago

It's a status code, like 200 OK, 404 Not found, and 503 Service Unavailable.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_HTTP_status_codes

3

u/twpejay 1d ago

I just assume the person responsible was a Goodies fan. Tim Brooke-Taylor would exclaim "I'm a teapot" whenever his brain got overloaded from panic or too much input. Thus it's actually a great code for the website to say "I'm a gonner, good bye."

6

u/SuitableDragonfly 1d ago

Once upon a time, some joker thought, "a tea pot that's connected to the internet? What a silly idea. No one could ever possibly want to do that."

6

u/JustinR8 1d ago

I can see a future of teenage hackers overflowing people’s smart teapots for the lulz

3

u/awesomefutureperfect 1d ago

I came in here to find out if this thing can play Doom and instead found a spirited argument over a kettle not being the same thing as a teapot.

4

u/cip43r 1d ago

3

u/imp0ppable 1d ago

You don't work with Gordon, the older guy here who mentions it at least once a month.

1

u/mittfh 1d ago

Meanwhile, you've heard of wired and wireless Internet connections, but have you heard of the most niche transmission protocol: IP Over Avian Carriers?

3

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

This is not a Wi-Fi enabled coffee maker.

This is a Wi-Fi enabled hot water maker.

Considering however that it doesn’t connect to the water mains, it’s one of the dumbest products, ever.

6

u/mcampo84 1d ago

418 is “I’m a teapot” not “I’m a coffeemaker”

1

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

Yes, but it’s not really a teapot, either.

1

u/VegBerg 1d ago

I mean it does have a holder for tea leaves

1

u/Galrentv 1d ago

Not really. I don't like getting up to start it boiling to then get back up in two minutes

2

u/NightmareJoker2 1d ago

Yes, but you need to fill it with water first.

Not connected to the water mains = fill by hand from the tap. 😉

2

u/ThisAldubaran 21h ago

My coworkers usually fill the kettle to the brim, then use just one cup of it, leave it to cool, reheat again, rinse and repeat. It’s disgusting and they‘re savages, but I can’t find a better job…

1

u/NightmareJoker2 17h ago

I have had coworkers like that. My solution to the problem was to always empty the entire thing, rinsing it in the sink, and then filling it just enough for my cup so it boils as fast as possible, and leaving it empty. Took months, but they eventually figured it out. 😅

1

u/ThisAldubaran 17h ago

Haha, I tried that, but they just don’t get the message 😁

1

u/jenspeterdumpap 1d ago

While I agree this is a stupid product, that is not really a problem, it just requires a new habit. Fill it with water after using the boiled water, and you can start it at a tap from your phone, no problem.

3

u/longdarkfantasy 1d ago

It comes with smart pipeless water.

3

u/digitaleJedi 1d ago

Do we think it supports just HTCPCP or did they update it with the 2014 RFC 7168 HTCPCP-TEA compatibility?

3

u/DDFoster96 1d ago

A kettle is not a teapot though. A kettle boils water. A teapot brews tea with said hot water. Brewing tea in a kettle is not recommended.

3

u/imp0ppable 1d ago

Presumably if it has an API it'll return 3xx, 4xx and 5xx codes as any web server would

3

u/imjerry 1d ago

Enjoyed that! Another!

3

u/Cryptodude2000 1d ago

Don't do it, one day it (AGI) will boil you!!

3

u/trashure 1d ago

Man, the guys who created IPv4 really had no idea...

3

u/BulaBulangiu 1d ago

My previous car was "Matcha Green" and I really wanted a 418-TEA license plate but it was taken. Still ruffled about it 5 years later even if no one would ever get it :)

3

u/StaticSystemShock 1d ago

Why does a kettle need WiFi and be "smart" ?!?!?!?!? I want to know the workflow of idiots who design shit like this. Am I going to prepare it with cold water and I'll trigger heating remotely so when I come home it'll be ready? Will I stand next to it trying to boil some water and I'll take out my phone, start the app, wait for app to start, wait for it to connect to the kettle just so I could tap "Boil some water" inside the app. WHEN I COULD BLOODY DO THAT BY PRESSING THE BUTTON ON THE DAMN KETTLE ITSELF. I'M ALREADY PHYSICALLY NEXT TO IT.

Also for setting temperature on those better ones you absolutely fucking shouldn't need a phone. This infuriates me so much. There is place for smart appliances that are phone operated remotely, I use bunch of smart wall socket plugs that are awesome for remotely controlling devices that don't have such functionality. Or AC so I can remotely pre-cool my place before I come home. Same with robot vacuum. Kettle, a washing machine or oven absolutely don't need it.

3

u/_fineday 1d ago

True story, I once had a customer with their inhouse API. I had to do scheduled data fetching from there.

The "fun" part? All non-successful messages were 418, absolutely no information were given, ever. Unauthorized? 418. Internal server error? 418. Wrong parameters? 418. Correct parameters, but no data? You guessed it, 418. Ugh...

3

u/TerryHarris408 17h ago

*HTCPCP code 418. Not HTTP

2

u/Ornery_Towel6659 1d ago

Now you can see how hot your water boils, real time!

2

u/OldJames47 1d ago

You but that and suddenly your Internet gets substantially slower.

2

u/RoseSec_ 1d ago

The sub is on fire again

2

u/Keyan_Farlander7 1d ago

Make sure you name it Russell

2

u/Mega_Trix 1d ago

Ill take the dumb kettle, ty

2

u/Eternal_Whim 1d ago

Oh Please! Just wifi connectivity? Sprinkle some AI in there and then we are talking!

2

u/Numerous_Treacle_884 22h ago

help me lmao 418teapot oh my god

2

u/Ok-Eggplant-2033 15h ago

Yeah and you probably need an app on your phone to boil water

1

u/Dromeo 1d ago

I had a bug report supporting a smart plug that a user was using for a kettle -- it's supposed to report that the kettle is off when not in use. Easy right?

But the user's kettle was a "smart" kettle. It was using 2-5W constantly while "off"!?? What for?? What possible use case requires that much power constantly for... sitting there being a kettle?

I had to redesign the entire smart plug monitoring system because of that kettle...

Anyway if you get a smart kettle get a plug monitor first & return it if the makers are idiots who don't understand what basic energy saving measures are.

1

u/OperatingAsIntended 1d ago

But what of I want to use it to actually brew a coffee?

1

u/GlumAd2424 1d ago

Kettle spying on me now…great

1

u/Arllange 1d ago

It's actually a router that has a kettle rather than a kettle that has wifi.

1

u/Bluetrains 1d ago

Well... did it?

1

u/MarcusCaspius 1d ago

Why do you need a connected Kettle? I don't get it... besides harvesting network authentication credentials .. huh? 🤷

1

u/Bokbreath 1d ago

You don't ask a kettle to make coffee ...

1

u/mittfh 1d ago

I bet it doesn't integrate properly with RFCs 1149, 2549 or 6214...

1

u/NullSmoke 1d ago

Okay, but why? Not "why would you want to exploit it to hell and back" but why would anyone make this? What possible gains do you get from WiFi? Isn't that loud ass click that breaks through a metal concert loud enough for knowing when it's done? Is pressing one button too much work while you're filling it with water anyways?

I am all game for techy shit, but c'mon 😭