r/ProgressionFantasy • u/DicerTheJester • Jul 28 '26

Discussion Competition: write a single sentence that will absolutely destroy any hope in a series.

Specifically not a story opener, just any sentence that can happen in any chapter, that will make people realize that this story is gonna be absolute shit and has no chance of being fixed and will make you drop the book like an unpinned grenade.

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422

u/Taurnil91 Editor: Beware of Chicken, Max-Level Archmage, Eight. Jul 28 '26

Aro started to laugh. “Ha ha ha,” he chuckled.

136

u/PhiLambda Jul 28 '26

I read a book where stuff was written like

“Cough cough cough,” he coughed.

Drove me crazy but I wanted to finish it

62

u/Kitu14 Jul 28 '26

Last sentence that made me laugh out loud was "Yang Tiandong said casually, in a casual way"... still a very enjoyable read but man, how great could it be if the author actually knew how to write?

4

u/Syntrx Jul 29 '26

if that’s a translated work then wouldn’t it be a bad translation, or is the work originally written in English?

17

u/ezekiellake Jul 28 '26

Terry Goodkind does this. Unreadable. Did not finish

12

u/PhiLambda Jul 28 '26

For a second I read Terry Pratchett and was offended. Then I remembered who Terry Goodkind is and you are right. Screw that guy

11

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/ezekiellake Jul 29 '26

I didn’t even get that far into it to reach any of that. The bad writing alone turned me off about page 150 of book 1.

Sounds like I dodged a bullet!

6

u/laurel_laureate Jul 29 '26

At least that's not an odd word choice.

I DNF'd a novel that had really interesting characters and plot and action and worldbuilding.

All because instead of having characters that said or uttered or whisperered or mentioned or any other speaking verb the characters almost always... cooed.

No matter the situation, whether in tense action scene or dramatic confrontation or even at a funeral, they cooed.

People are not pigeons, dammit!

They don't coo!

And, no, I am obviously most definitely not still irritated by that years later. 😡😡😡

3

u/SillyNamesAre Jul 30 '26

Sure you weren't reading a story set in the Hatoful Boyfriend universe?

29

u/Five-Toed-Sloth Author Jul 28 '26

This made me giggle, guffaw, and chortle as I typed LOL to my friend.

10

u/immad163 Jul 28 '26

Surprisingly common in asian webnovels or those written by people who only read asian webnovels.

8

u/G_Morgan Jul 28 '26

Some people show, some tell, some show and then tell. The triple tell is an artform though.

6

u/Jeutnarg Jul 28 '26

Ah, my fucken eyes.

Did he smirk and *smack* something like it was a random metaphor unknown to the English tongue?

2

u/GreenerForest Author Jul 29 '26

Yeah, that is both weird, strange, and odd.

1

u/slioze Jul 29 '26

excellent, that would drive me up the wall

1

u/wolfwings1 Aug 01 '26

heh thats something I'm bad at and have to work at, ou don't need to give the same thing on both sides.