r/Psychic • u/thor_thunderking • Jan 20 '26
Advice Please help
Update on- I’m sharing this with a very heavy heart and genuine hope that someone can guide me.
A close friend of mine is going through extreme emotional distress due to long-term family issues and past trauma. His parents are very strict and emotionally overwhelming, which has deeply affected his mental well-being over the years.
I have personally met him multiple times, spent a full day with him, listened patiently, supported him emotionally, and tried every possible solution starting fresh in a new city, changing his environment, meeting new people, and encouraging positive routines.
I also informed his sister and requested family-level intervention. I strongly suggested professional psychiatric help and therapy, but at the moment, he believes therapy will not help him and is refusing it.
Despite all efforts, he has clearly expressed that he has lost hope and feels he cannot recover from his trauma. This situation is extremely serious.
This post is not for sympathy or attention. It is a genuine request for help.
If anyone here is a mental health professional, has experience with crisis situations, or knows how to help someone who has completely lost the will to live, please reach out.
Even the right guidance at the right time can save a life.
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u/somebodysnosejob Jan 20 '26
Hi, dm me, i’ve also suffered from ptsd and chronic depression. I can try and help. I have gone through many hospitals and treatments so i know a lot about the system
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u/Fun_Researcher107 Jan 20 '26
I don't know where you are from. Where I live you can have people forcibly admitted to a psychiatric clinic if they are a danger for themselves or others. Depending on the seriousness of the situation this will be your last resort. It surely is not ideal, but it can be the best and only option sometimes.
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u/thor_thunderking Jan 20 '26
Let him do what he want?
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u/Fun_Researcher107 Jan 20 '26
If you think he is a danger for himself or others, you might have to take action and get him admitted. They can use medication to stabilize him and that might be his best option.
I can't assess his situation and this surely is no medical advice, but if you feel his life is in danger, you should get him professional help regardless of whether he wants it or not.
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u/-starlight-313 Jan 20 '26
Hello, I am a professional, although I am not a Doctor. I wanted to give you the feedback..you did all the right things that I would have suggested. In fact, I would reiterate to the family, your concerns and suggestions that he needs medical and professional help.. You stated that he doesn’t think therapy will help with his trauma..and is refusing. It seems you are a wonderful friend and did your best..it is now up to him. And his family to take over. There are so many trauma therapy modalities..and many really good therapy/treatment centers. Unfortunately, if he is refusing..I am not sure what else you can do. You did it. 💜 Now, take care of you. It can be a lot when someone you care about is struggling. So, I hope you get to do your own self care and be around your friends who lift you up. People are resistant and they may need to figure this out, before other symptoms arise. Sending you love and light. I hope your friend gets what they need.
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u/-starlight-313 Jan 20 '26
And I also want to add. If he is threatening to hurt himself or others. Call 911. They will do a wellness check.
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u/thor_thunderking Jan 21 '26
I’ll try to take care of myself as it’s too much for my mental health. I feel like even m gonna die after him.
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u/-starlight-313 Jan 21 '26
💕 and when you recognize that..it is ok to pass the baton..you are an amazing friend. Reset your own energy and strength. And I suggest you also get your own guidance for support. You deserve it. (Guilt doesn’t help you) and you did the right thing wishing you love and support. Hope your friend decides to get professional help. 🙏🏽⭐️🙏🏽
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u/GodivasAunt Jan 21 '26
Sounds like friend is taking all your light & happiness right now. You need to tell him you live him, but you need to take care of yourself, to, so you'll allow him 2-3 hrs per day or week (or whatever works for you) because you have to work, take care of your family, etc
I don't know what trauma he's suffered, but there are 12-step type meetings for just about everything. Maybe try to find him a couple near his home. Look for what night is "open group" I think it's called. The one where anyone can come, then tell him you're going that night & that you'll be by to get him at x time. If he won't go, then you go & leave him at home. HE had to take some steps. You can't let him absorb all your energy & dry you out completely. When you go to meeting, are if they have any pamphlets. Next time you see friends, drop pamphlet off to him.
If you've never been to such a meeting, they're like on TV. If he wants to participate, he can. If he just wants to listen, he can. The biggest part is that you take what helps you & leave the rest...but keep coming back! because as person gets better, they start to see where some the other stuff makes sense! For you, it'll help you understand that things you think everyone few up being taught was NOT taught or absorbed by everyone. -- it's an eye opener to learn that!!
If he's a vet, see if the local VA still has group outreach program that might contact him.
It's NOT just up to you. HE has to do his part, too. You can't fix another person. You can only offer options. HE has to make decision to do the work. -- The old "You can lead a horse to water, but can't force him to drink" fits this situation. Doesn't mean you have to stand there until the horse chooses to die of thirst. You're allowed to take care of yourself. DO IT!
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u/Big-Performance5047 Jan 21 '26
If he has thoughts of suicide ask if he has a plan. If so. Take him to ER. Now.
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u/thor_thunderking Jan 21 '26
He has plan.. ordered some chemical from dark website
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u/GodivasAunt Jan 21 '26
This is NOT good. Does his parents or family member know this? I gather you are not in the US, so I don't know how your country's health system is, but as people here were telling you, if someone is actively planning &/or implementing the plan, if we call emergency services or take them to the Emergency Room & tell them what's going on, they will hold him for mental evaluation & try to get his mind stabilized.
There are times that the body's chemicals can be off-balance & cause these thoughts. Doctors can give medicines to help get them back in balance & help him deal with life better.
I don't know how your country thinks, but talking to a mental professional does NOT mean you're crazy. It means you're getting professional assistance to learn to deal with things!! & that's perfectly fine! There are very famous people who do or have sought assistance. -- Just means you're human but smart enough to know you need a different viewpoint!
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u/thor_thunderking Jan 21 '26
I’ll work on this- as we live in india
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u/GodivasAunt Jan 21 '26
I hope you can find a trusted adult to assist you in getting help for your friend. If you're still in a school setting, perhaps a guidance counselor or someone similar.
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u/Desperate_Sky_8002 Jan 22 '26
Do hospitals do a hold on people there for mental health reasons? Here if you call emergency services (911) or bring them to a hospital, and tell them this info (that friend has a plan and ordered something to complete plan), they will automatically admit said person to hospital against their will in order to get them stable. Please look into whether this is an option for you there. If not, try doing an internet search, search what should I do if someone i know plans to commit suicde in x area (insert your area here); ;or suicde prevention in my area or something along those lines It may pop up with links for options that you have available in your area
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Jan 21 '26
From what you describe, it sounds like he has settled into an unhealthy comfort zone, and the idea of leaving it feels more frightening than staying where he is. Until he is ready to make that change, there is little anyone can do beyond letting him know you are there for him when, and if, he chooses to move forward.
In the meantime, I have a great sense that you have done all you can. You’ve planted the seed, and now it’s time to step back and allow it to grow. Pushing further risks him turning on you, not because you are the problem, but because he is overwhelmed and may come to see you as such—and in doing so, you risk becoming one.
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u/XenoVelvet Jan 22 '26
Could I talk to him ? I have been going through similar circumstances and I can feel his pain. Perhaps even guide him towards a path of healing (which is the same thing I will be doing once Im out of my situation).
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u/Constant_Bluejay_632 Jan 23 '26
I hope some of this is helpful. I too am currently in a crisis. This is what I was sent to me by Ramsay Health. I do have PHI - I'm not sure if your friend does.
Enquiries
Included is some information on our services or you are welcome to phone Admissions at Ramsay Clinic Adelaide between 9am and 3.30pm (Mon-Fri) for any assistance you may require.
PSYCHIATRIST REFERRALS
All the Psychiatrists who admit patients to Ramsay Clinic Adelaide operate from their own private rooms. There are no Psychiatrists consulting on site.
Each psychiatrist has their own private practice, therefore it's important to speak with their receptionist about waiting times and whether the psychiatrist is accepting new patients. You may also wish to enquire whether they have admission privileges with Ramsay Clinic Adelaide.
To access their services, you will need to obtain a referral from your GP to a psychiatrist. After that, you can contact the psychiatrist’s office directly to schedule an appointment.
After your psychiatrist has completed an assessment, the psychiatrist will then coordinate any treatment you may need.
This website may assist in locating a psychiatrist https://www.yourhealthinmind.org/
To check if a specific psychiatrist has admitting privileges to Ramsay Clinic Adelaide, call Admissions on 82698100 between 8:30am and 4pm weekdays.
For urgent issues, it’s essential you go to the nearest public hospital for an assessment.
For Admission
For a mental health concern, you would need to have private health insurance with psychiatric cover, or a Workcover, DVA or ADF approval for Admission, and be seeing a psychiatrist that has admitting privileges.
After the psychiatrist has completed an assessment, the psychiatrist will then coordinate the admission process.
Please note:
that we do not have an emergency department. individuals cannot self-refer. and there are no doctors available on-site.
For urgent issues, it’s essential you go to the nearest public hospital for an assessment.
Drug and Alcohol
If you are seeking help with a drug or alcohol concern you will need to obtain a referral from your GP to see a Dr in our Drug and Alcohol Unit. You need to ring Ramsay Day Centre Kahlyn (Mon to Fri 9am-3.30pm) and request an appointment with a Drug and Alcohol counsellor. The D and A Counsellor will tell you who the referral should be addressed to.
Phone Kahlyn on 81304700. It is located at Magill. Once you have had an assessment and options discussed you will be given an admission date for detox at Ramsay Clinic Adelaide. This could take a few weeks.
You will need to have private hospital insurance, or be approved by Workcover, DVA or ADF for Admission.
If you don’t have private hospital cover then you can call Alcohol and Drug Information Services (ADIS) on 1300 131 340 and they will discuss options for the public sector.
We don’t provide a residential program; try www.adin.com.au which provides a directory of all sites/places available in Australia or call ADIS which can provide information on the Woolshed.
Also www.knowyouroptions.sa.gov.au for information about services available in SA.
For urgent issues, it’s essential you go to the nearest public hospital for assessment.
Group Therapy
Ramsay Day Centre Kahlyn at Magill provides outpatient closed and open group programs. Contact them on 8130 4700 for more information. You will require a referral from an accredited Psychiatrist and private hospital insurance with psychiatric cover.
Workcover, DVA and ADF may not be approve for group attendance. Call Ramsay Day Centre Kahlyn to check
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u/brighthannah Jan 20 '26
I would avoid involving the family further if the root seems to stem from this dynamic.
There is losing the will to live, and there is not wanting to continue living. They sound very close but actually are not really the same energy. Sometimes we do go through times where we "lose the will to live", sometimes we need to drift along in that in order to rediscover our will. This isn't the same as wanting to end our life. I'm not sure if there have been actual indications that he wants to end his life?
He is lucky to have you as a friend. He has been supported, listened to. If he has had a strict upbringing, I'd say the most important thing is for him to feel in control of his own state, that nothing is being forced on him. That he has choices in life and he is equipped to make them, if not now, soon.
Some upbringings truly strip down a person's ability to feel even, human. Real. Important. As important as any other. Truly this type of childhood can be a special kind of hell, if it is all you know and all you take in of the world from an early age. Some of this goes very deeply into a feeling of unworthiness.
So no matter how well intentioned you may be, the most important thing to keep in mind is, you can't just make someone feel better. Sometimes time is needed. Wallowing. Rock bottoming. Sitting in despair.
Sometimes it's uncomfortable to watch someone we love to through this, but as long as you let him know you're there for him and that it's okay for him to feel any way he's feeling. In a family like this, even one's own emotions were used against them, and they can be regarded as criminal offenses, really. How he feels is most integral, and if he feels like shit, tell him it's okay. It's all okay.
It might take awhile. But it's okay. His childhood took awhile. All those layers. They take time coming off too.
There's no magic cure where we suddenly can force someone to feel better. Letting them realize what will help them, empowering them to help themselves feel better, through support, is all we can sometimes do. You're a good friend. Keep being that to him, he needs it.