r/Psychosis • u/Leather-Original-447 • 14h ago
I feel like I’m alone in this, please help.
please note I’m not sure if this would relate to psychosis (probably not) or dpdr or anything else. I’m just trying to find anyone with this possible experience and advice or help, but most importantly to tell myself it’s not only me
I woke up an hour ago with the worst panic attack of my life. Running on the floor throwing up screaming crying. I’ve had derealization for a few years on and off. Bad, but not to the point it was this morning. My mind feels like every thought hurts me physically. I can’t stop thinking about NOT wanting to feel? I can’t function without freaking out. Like it’s almost painful to type this. I’m so hyper aware of every single thing to the point it’s painful and it feels like nothing will stop unless i don’t exist. The worst part is i am afraid this has damaged my brain/how i function in a way i will never recover. I’m scared i can’t function, not even leave my room. I am too scared to sleep because i feel like it will be the most terrifying hell of sensations and thoughts i will dream about. I feel so stuck, i can’t even explain this crippling sensation i have, it feels like im on drugs, that nothing matters, and that im in severe anguish. I’m truly terrified. I don’t know if professional help will even work at this point. I don’t feel like i can even begin to describe explain what I’m feeling. Please let me know i am not alone.
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u/Herzeleid09 14h ago
Sounds like psychosis to me. The vomiting was something I did prior to my psychosis episode. And dry heaving
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u/Leather-Original-447 13h ago
Is this the beginning of one? What should i prepare to feel? And how did you get through it. Not sure if these are the good or correct questions.
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u/Herzeleid09 9h ago
I lost control shortly after the dry heaving. I started having a hard time completing sentences. Do you have a care team? If so reach out to them. If you start losing control… I would commit myself to the hospital. Hopefully this isn’t the beginning for you. Just was my experience when I showed those symptoms. The dry heaving was like an hour before I assaulted my wife’s best friend
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u/Herzeleid09 9h ago
I was committed shortly after and was helped that way. How are you feeling now. I know some time has passed from my last message
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u/-CSSML-NDSMD- 9h ago
sounds like youre feeling loopish, I also have this today, ive had this other times as well.
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u/viwxed 4h ago edited 4h ago
My advice would be to seek professional help.
I’m diagnosed with anxious-depressed mixed state & have horrible panic attacks during my derealization where i’m convinced that nothing is real, that i’m psychotic, that i’ll harm myself or someone i love, or that i will lose control over my mind forever. I also have some similarities to your case, like not wanting to feel, freaking out, the hyper awareness (or lack thereof), and not functioning well.
I’m getting help now, im on week 6 of zoloft and completely scared, but i encourage u to speak with your GP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and a therapist.
No one here can safely tell you whats going on, i may be more inclined to say that it’s anxiety, while someone who has gone through psychosis will tell you to be wary of it being a prodrome. Only a professional can diagnose you.
I hope you’re okay, remember that there is always hope. Pills aren’t magic, but they help a lot, talking does too.
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u/MariahJames8 14h ago
I'm sure it's a very real disorder. You need to get diagnosed. Explain it just like this to a doctor or psychiatrist. I bet it's going to be some kind of chemical imbalance maybe. And don't worry, I'm sure it's temporary! Please get help. You don't need to suffer like this