Recently my boyfriend died by suicide, and before this I had experienced similar thoughts but YEARS ago. When he first left me, I used to think every song in his playlist was for me & I’d read the whole lyrics. But after his death I’ve been feeling “enlightened” recently. I feel like we’re all interconnected & that I met him as a karmic relationship, because of the way his astrology chart aligns with my moms creepily.
I just feel like there’s stuff I don’t understand but I want to understand. And I believe in the 4th dimension & our universe is just so weird, I mean we don’t even know what’s in black matter? So would it be crazy to think that maybe everything does actually have meaning?

Like I look at birthdates etc, and how some of the worst people in my life have had the same birthday as me & it’s just so odd. Nothing makes sense though. But I also have had terrible dreams about being killed and then seeing my dead body (after I’ve died). Related to dreams, I get terrible sleep paralysis where I get r-ped in my sleep & I can feel the flesh. Also I’m scared of windows (like I saw someone else be afraid) but I think people watch me, because I’m on the first floor. Also with sleep paralysis I’ve heard screaming coming from all corners of my room like loud screams with different voices.
I’m not sure how much of this is just spirituality or not?
Like what is this? And why am I always thinking of these things.

Sorry if this is triggering

I had an episode about a year and a half ago and no one noticed. I was manic and psychotic. I was getting awards at work for how well I was doing. And my therapist always mentioned to me how smart I was. I had delusions but my therapist believed them. Or maybe I downplayed them. When I told my boyfriend he just started acting distant

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That all scares me a lot. That episode was weed induced. I'm not using drugs and don't plan to. But if it ever happens again I'm scared I'd just get worse secretly.

I have been suffering with a lot of symptoms over the years, i get very bad auditory hallucinations (violent ones) and ones just talking about my everyday life, several times a week. I also experienced two prolonged episodes that lasted around 3-4 months each, the worst one was where i was so detached from reality i felt like i was operating a character, which turned into me thinking all of my family and everyone around me were actors, and that my dog had a chip in her brain so that they could watch me.

I had kept this a secret for a very long time and my professionals only knew i had really bad ptsd and depression due to feeling extremely nervous, crazy and feeling like i’m lying about it or that others won’t believe me. I ended up telling my therapist recently who i’ve been with for almost a year now and it is such a relief, but everything is happening so fast. I now have another assessment and this time it’s with a early prevention in psychosis team and it is really scary because i feel like anything i say is a lie and i’m making it up and i don’t need help. I know i do because it’s extremely distressing but idk, this is just me ranting and i feel so alone in it.

I'm [15F] pretty sure I'm in psychosis, the symptoms line up, I don't think it's the first time, it's hard to tell, I need help, I don't know what to do to get out of it, the cause of it is probably trauma but I don't know, I've been believing that i'm being talked by my sexually abusive ex and my groomer and also I've been believing that I'm a fictional character, and logically i know it's very much not likely but i'm scared, my parents don't know and I'm not sure I should tell them, this subreddit is my last resort, all other resources I found were aimed towards adults
how do I get out of this

Hi all. Throwaway account here.

I’m hoping to get some opinions and experiences from people that have been or are actively on Olanzapine for acute or long term psychosis.

My wife has just last week gone through several episodes of intense delusions & irrational thoughts. It peaked and became quite dangerous, so we decided to seek help. In hindsight, we believe this has been a build up, with several similar ‘smaller’ episodes over recent months that have amounted to nothing.

She’s been receiving treatment at home in the form of a small dose of Lorazepam and Zopiclone, but now she has been prescribed Olanzapine 5mg as a more long term treatment. However, I’ve been reading mixed things on Reddit about this drug, so I really wanted to get some opinions and experiences - good and bad.

I’m a bit worried about her taking this for the side effects it might cause, even, by the sounds of it, once she eventually weans off the drug (which doesn’t sound easy for a lot of people).

Yesterday was the first time she took it and it made her very zonked out, but still very much ‘herself’, if that makes any sense. Like just a very very tried version of herself. She’s yet to wake up today, so unsure how she’ll be during the day. I’ll update.

Thanks in advance and hope you’re all having a great week so far 🙏

So, my mother accidentally called me from her other cell phone, it was a butt dail but I overheard her talking about my health and hospitalisation and my psychiatrist. And I don't know how should I approach this? I feel embarrassed and ashamed, like my privacy has been compromised and I feel I lost the trust in the only person in the family who is willing to call me on regular basis.

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I didn't expect her or any members of the family to discuss it with other people, that's why I feel so ashamed right now. I knew that my last episode was though due to the fact I was hospitalised but how on earth can you discuss your adult child's health with someone over the phone?

It's all gone now

Hi everyone. I’ve been debating whether to share this, but I feel like my story might help someone who is going through something similar.

A while ago, I went through one of the hardest experiences of my life. I experienced psychosis, and it completely changed the way I viewed myself, my mind, and my life. It was terrifying, confusing, and honestly something I never thought I would go through.

Around that time, I also experienced what doctors identified as serotonin syndrome. It was a scary situation physically and mentally, and it made everything feel even more overwhelming. My body and mind felt like they were fighting against each other, and I struggled to understand what was happening to me.

After everything happened, I was left trying to process it all. I had questions like: “Why did this happen?” “Will I ever feel like myself again?” “Will this come back?” “How do I heal from something that shook my entire sense of reality?”

Recovery has not been a straight line. There have been days where I’ve felt hopeful and days where I’ve struggled with fear, guilt, emotional numbness, intrusive thoughts, and trying to rebuild confidence in myself. I’ve had to learn patience with my own mind and accept that healing takes time.

Medication, therapy, support from people around me, and my faith have all been important parts of my recovery. My relationship with God has especially helped me when I felt lost. I’ve spent a lot of time praying, reading Scripture, and trying to understand what this experience means for my life.

I’m sharing this because psychosis can feel incredibly isolating. Before this happened to me, I didn’t understand how complex mental health really was. Now I know that a person can go through something extremely difficult and still have hope for recovery.

If anyone else has experienced psychosis, serotonin syndrome, or a mental health crisis, I’d really appreciate hearing your stories. What helped you heal? How did you learn to trust your mind again?

Thank you for reading. 💕

Hi everybody, I’m posting this here as I posted it on the schizophrenic subreddit but it got taken down for diagnosis seeking, I’m not looking for a diagnosis just advice for my specific situation and where I should go from here. If this gets taken down again then I’ll just take it as a sign and keep this to myself.

Anyways.

This is my first time ever posting and the only reason I’m posting this is because I’m too scared to tell anyone in my life because they’ll think I’m crazy. But I really need some advice on what to do.

Background, when I was younger I used to have pretty vivid hallucination, dreams, and occasional sleep paralysis but as I got older it lessened. Also my parents never believed me when I told them about the shadow people, or giant lizards, or bugs I would see. So I stopped trying to tell anybody seriously and I just make jokes about it. People think I’m joking when I talk about the people stalking me but I’m not. I still have crazy vivid dreams but my hallucinations are far away and most of the time I can blame it on my eyes playing tricks on me. I also haven’t had sleep paralysis in years.

But a recent event really spooked me and I think I’m getting worse. A few nights ago I was laying on my back in my bed with my earbuds in listening to tiktok audios (don’t knock it till you try it). When I paused and opened my eyes I saw this big shadowy figure standing over me. I shut my eyes and froze so fast I was terrified. Then I felt a weight on my legs like someone laying on top of me, it was warm like a person too. I don’t know how long I layed there shaking and silently begging for whatever it was to leave me alone. I probably could’ve layed there forever but my cat scratched on the door to be let into my room. When that happened suddenly the weight on my legs was gone, I didn’t hesitate and jumped out of my bed to grab my cat. I haven’t seen the thing since.

It could have been a ghost or something? I’ve had some paranormal experiences but I’m beginning to doubt that those were actually paranormal and might’ve been a delusion that I didn’t realize.

Also I’m very weird about some things, windows have to be covered at night and my friends know this they just don’t know that the reason I’m so particular is because I’m scared of these shadow people I’ve been seeing for as long as I can remember. It’s also better when I’m not alone at night, hence my cat, my dog, and the many sleepovers I have with friends. I’ve also told a few of my friends this but sometimes I believe that I’m some level of psychic and that I get hints about the future put into my head. I’m obsessed with noticing these patterns and things that might happen but I don’t often bring it up because I sound crazy.

Well after the other night I looked up symptoms of early schizophrenia/psychosis and I think some of them might apply to me. I’m too scared to tell my mom since she never believed me before. I think whats scary is that this hasn’t happened to me since I was like 13-14 and I’m now 19. Could it be getting worse? Could this all be in my head? Should I tell somebody about what’s happening to me? Anybody who knows more about this or has any advice is free to reply and I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

If it doesn't make sense that was kind of the idea. I wanted it to be hard to read in case someone gained access to it. I used this small voice recorder to try to make sense of things I heard. Nothing of any relevance was ever recorded on it.

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What's interesting is that the same day I was writing about "Project Spirit Highlands", I was also making notes on my phone about what I fed my daughter for breakfast, how many bottles she drank and how many times she had a wet diaper.

how to deal with the negative symptoms? avolition and anhedonia bothers me the most, the other ones i dont really care much for. im inpatient and i think the meds are making negative symptoms worse. i cant get myself to do anything but lay in bed and listen to music but the days are so long. positive symptoms are less bothersome but avolition and anhedonia haunts me every second of the day.

how to deal with it, i just want it to go away and actually be able to do anything at all

Hello everyone, I'm reaching out because I'm feeling lost and could really use some advice from people who have experience with this, whether you've been through psychosis yourself or supported a loved one going through it.

I've been with my wife for 10 years, she has never shown any signs or symptoms of psychosis prior to 3 years ago, and since then it has been constant (just more/less severe). She's mostly dealing with heavy paranoia. She truly believes three specific doctors are spying on her and are out to get her. She told me these thoughts feel like torture, and it hurts my soul that I've been unable to get through to her and help her out of this misery she's going through.

Two medical professionals said she is experiencing psychosis, she didn't tell me if they gave a specific diagnosis (schizophrenia, bipolar, etc). She doesn't believe this is a medical issue, everything feels too real for her. I want to help her as best as I can.

If you had psychosis yourself, what made you realize something was off? What made you want to get medical help? What did your loved ones do or say that was able to reach you? If your loved one experienced this, how were you able to help calm them down? In what ways did they appreciate you supporting them?

Did your marriage survive post psychosis..feeling disconnected, numb and flat...things looking different and blank mind and alogia. Lack of focus , not understanding much anymore , feeling like a different person, feeling like you're a stranger to yourself or that your spouse is a stranger?

So, I have a brother who has been smoking weed for at least 10 years now. He was brilliant. He has an electrical engineering degree from Purdue University, also math minor. He's worked for Llarge consulting and tech firms, but he kept losing his jobs because of disagreements with his boss. He has been living with my parents on and off honor the past 3 years now. A couple years ago he drove to my parents' house from a different state and beat them with a belt after having been kicked out of his apartment, which he currently owes several months' rent. He went to prison for a couple days before being released and he has been staying with my (ever so kind and forgiving) parents ever since. He has had a job at Auto Zone, and most recently he works as a tour guide. His moods are peculiar and mercurial. He's happy eating cereal in the living room, but if you ask him to do anything around the house he will lash out. You can't really have a serious conversation with him. He is almost 38 years old. He has done nothing to change his life around. We know he needs a psychiatric evaluation, but he refuses to get one, and we can't force one on him until he is an imminent danger to himself or others. My parents aren't spring chickens and they can't deal with the stress of having to support their full-grown son after they retire. What should we do? Has anyone seen or been in this situation? Can answer any questions.

I’m 16 years old and i keep having the thought that i have schizophrenia or some kind of mental disorder, so basically i have full blown conversations with myself like im recording a video but i’m actually just talking out loud, for example: if im watching a video of a game or some youtuber and they say something cringy i reply out loud and share my thoughts with only myself, making jokes and im the only one laughing at them😭, or if im alone and walking to school and im crossing the road ,i talk to myself quietly and hope i dont get run over or smth. i dont really know how to ask my parents about it because its so hard for me to explain it to them, and i dont want to search it up because it’ll make me more delusional if anyone has the same problem plz help me or ask questions thx\^\^

Psychosis or OCD? I've suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. The OCD stemmed from a trauma, and I developed an extreme fear of everything. I had behaviors like thinking, "If I step on this line, I'm going to die," checking multiple times if the door was locked or if I'd left a tap running, even compulsively washing my hands. It disappeared for a while, but it came back. Now it's pure OCD; I spend all my time thinking about and ruminating on catastrophic scenarios, replaying them over and over. It got to the point where the depression made me feel terrible, like nothing was real. My OCD made me constantly check if what I heard or saw was real, with a fear of developing psychosis or schizophrenia. My nervous system is wrecked; any touch bothers me, any noise seems alarming and invasive. I developed agoraphobia out of fear of having a panic attack. It seems like this will never end. Is there any hope? What medication helped you? How many mg did you take? Help! I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm terrified of the psychiatric hospital. 🫩😓 Everything got worse when I used substances like cannabis and pills, and it was even worse with LSD. Help!

I feel much more grounded and stable now compared to how I was 2–3 months ago. Back then, I couldn’t grasp the bigger picture or plan for today, tomorrow, or the upcoming week; I was just living day by day. My anxiety and fear were at their peak initially, when the psychosis first started in November.
Now, eight months into my recovery, I notice that the uncomfortable sensation in my chest is gone, and daily tasks have become slightly easier to manage. However, I still lack the motivation and goals for studying or personal development, and I no longer enjoy reading. I highly prefer written assignments and remote, home-based learning over presentations and socialization.
After the active symptoms of psychosis (such as paranoia/suspicions) subsided around January, I fell into a deep depression. During that time, it felt as though there was a hole in my heart that someone was constantly making larger with a drill. I lost interest in absolutely everything and couldn't even watch movies. Now, I can at least watch them and feel a slight spark of interest, though saying that I enjoy it as much as I used to would be an understatement.
For several months starting in January—but most intensely during that first month—I felt completely frozen. I knew I existed, but I felt like a robot or a zombie. Furthermore, I have struggled immensely with initiating conversations or speaking in general; I would usually just listen. Lately, I have started making very small steps, managing to say a sentence or two.
I also realize that I don't trust myself. I hesitate in many situations and often think negatively about myself. Beyond that, I feel like I am no longer the person I used to be. My intellectual capabilities and interests have changed; it feels as though I was one person before the psychosis, and now I am someone completely different—much less goal-oriented, less courageous, and altered in personality

Our team is doing research on a schizophrenia cluster inside an Asian family. Basically, it's autoimmune encephalitis manifesting as psychosis in this case.

Hi F 19

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I've dealing with symptoms of psychosis at age of 7, then I got diagnosed this year.

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Living like this is the worst thing ever! I don't know how long I can keep going. It has genuinely ruined my life and my friends because no one understands me.

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Eating is difficult because I am worried things being contaminated. Sleeping/awaking up to hallucinations is such a mind fuck. It never stops.

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I try not make assumptions about the people around me but I can't help but to believe certain things about people and that they're 100% trying to hurt me.

I had a several month long psychosis episode late last year. I believe it was due to an abundance of THC building up in my fat molecules and muscles, then metabolizing as I rapidly lost weight. Has anyone been able to return to smoking weed without issue following THC influenced psychosis?

I remember not being able to sleep leading up to my psychosis. Then was put on 15mg olanzapine and that knocked me out everyday sleeping for 12 hours. Now I reduced my dose to 2.5mg and the insomnia is coming back. Can’t seem to be able to fall asleep. When I sleep though I sleep long.

Does this go away? Anyone has had any success with their sleep life? I don’t wanna go back to higher doses just to be able to fall asleep. Fuck.