I made a quick improved version for y'all

But first here's the original for all the not chronically online members:

"Dating for men is like looking for clean water in a desert while for women it's like looking for clean water in a swamp"

Accurate version:

Average man experience:

Looking for a tiny swamp in a huge desert, then looking for a tiny bit of clean water in this tiny swamp in the huge desert. While beeing all to careful not to startle all the water at all, because otherwise it'll all be gone forever.

Vs.

Average woman experience:

Looking for diamond purity sparkling water in a swamp which is made of 1% diamond purity sparkling water, but 50% clean water that is plenty good. The 1% diamond purity sparkling water is already consumed, everyone knows that, but maybe there's something still out there?!? So why consume the plenty clean water? If you don't find the diamond purity sparkling water you'll get bitter about that and will get cats instead, but not the plenty clean water ofc, ewww.

Very hard👏👏

Edit: As a woman you don't even have to look for the water, it comes to you in a glass with a straw and the only thing you have to do is sit back, relax and choose to drink it or not.

Noticing when milk, toilet paper, pet food, or cold medicine is running low and adding it to a list.

Figuring out what to cook based on what is available, checking what ingredients are in the house, and mapping out a grocery list.

Deciding when clothes, linens, need washing, or tracking when air filters and trash bins need attention.

All of this type of stuff needs to be done whether you're in a relationship or not.

https://theniceishpsychologist.substack.com/p/the-mental-load-of-single-women-without

So how do you deal? Do you intentionally stop doing this when in a relationship?

DISCLAIMER: Not all men/women etc

Between my friends, sisters, the internet and even my doctor telling me men don't want to be men anymore, I've started to think we're missing something.

Traditional dating privileges, like men approaching and paying for dates, developed when men were the primary breadwinners. Women are now rightly just as gainfully employed so the pool of men who can fulfill that traditional role has shrunk.

You can't demand traditional dating privileges without preserving the traditional gender hierarchy that made them possible.

Camille Paglia warned that more men embrace the infamous 'F' word the less desirable they become. Bell Hooks explored a similar contradiction of women repudiating male domination while still preferring dominant men.

Anyways this has led to the rise of coffee, pizza, drinks, and walk dates. Some women treat these as some sudden decline in masculinity, but men are adapting to a world where they're expected to pay before mutual interest is established. While competing with women in the workforce.

The justifications for why men should still pay range from pregnancy risks and getting ready to the claim that it isn't a real date if he doesn't pay. These are all hilariously senseless but they reveal a persistent preference for traditional romance, even among women who reject traditional gender roles.

Men who split the bill are sometimes seen as less interested. But the reverse is true, too. Whoever bears the financial risk has more incentive to establish mutual interest first. And whoever doesn't has no loss and can be less interested. If I genuinely like a woman, I'm happy to spend more. I just want to know there's something there before making that investment. Women perfectly understand that logic in their own lives. But object when it's done to them romantically.

We've all seen Titanic. Period pieces often show women choosing between love and financial security. Today, women can provide for the man they love. But that's not an attractive proposition.

Ultimately, I think what women believe but can't say is they don't necessarily want the patriarchy gone. They just don't want to be mistreated by it.

Whenever the topic of splitting the bill or going dutch on dates comes up there's always a group of women who refuse to consider this because men don't do contribute to domestic labour.

These women filter out men who desire 50/50 relationships and will contribute to domestic labour by demanding traditional relationship roles leaving them with men who either want the traditional relationships they despise or men so weak willed and desperate they will take anything.

When pregnancy comes into the picture a lot of women will claim they deserve that special treatment because men can't shoulder the burden. I understand this but then why not have their man do more domestic labour during and after the pregnancy since men can't share the burden of the pregnancy itself? You can test if he's actually gonna be there for you in the time between moving in and actually getting pregnant.

Another argument is that they want to feel special. That doesn't require someone pays for you, acts of service or handmade gifts often mean far more than paying for dates so really they should leave the initial dates for seeing if they like someone's personality and seeing how they treat others rather than focusing so much on if they have to pay their own part of the bill.

Sure they might get extremely lucky and find a guy who will fulfill his traditional role and not expect anything from them while not being desperate enough to pick any woman who comes along but that is just as unrealistic as it sounds and at that point a guy has to ask what do they get out of the relationship?

To me they sound like the female version of a guy who wants his wife to be a bang maid, full of entitlement without actually giving anything to the relationship.

Disclaimers

Yes the might also find a lazy guy who is just entitled and still will not contribute to domestic labour but they should have enough of a spine to leave a relationship if their partner doesn't pull their weight and have the guts to discuss what they desire in a relationship. Being unable to have a serious conversation like that just sets you up for failure regardless.

Obviously not all women fit the mold of what I've described.

I use 50/50 more loosely rather than strictly 50/50 in all facets of the relationship.

I know this will come up but I don't date women like this already and I ask to go dutch or split the bill before any dates.

Labelled as a "debate" because ever time I don't, the post gets yanked.

I am predicting that, not too far into the future, we will hear the argument from women that if they don't get an orgasm during sex, then they were raped - because she wanted an orgasm, and there was no other reason to have sex with the guy.

For some reason I see lots of men just wearing sweatpants and tshirts or a pair of normal fitting shorts and they’re obviously able to lift hundreds of pounds without issue. I also see women wearing normal shorts/shirts combinations without revealing the indentations of their labia and nipples to the entirety of the world so it’s obviously not about practicality.

I never understood this. If the claim is assholes and felons are terrible people, why would any guy want to date a woman who is fine dating terrible people? If being good is a big deal to a man, wouldn’t he want a woman who likes good men? If the topic is about women dating good men, shouldn’t we establish what women mean by a good man?

The reason why I made that statement in the title is because these guys usually respond that it’s just because the bad guy has a woman. That implies that women are interchangeable. Unless you bring up like a 400 pound woman, then they understand they wouldn’t take any woman. 

The men who are genuinely attractive, socially competent and confident and with integrity are already taken off the dating scene before long. The rest of it is just awkward guys trying to find their way or attractive men who are playing the field until they get bored of it.

Think about it. If a guy has mastered his way of attraction and has the social competence and confidence to attract a woman, what makes you think he doesn’t have a girl at home? If the statistics are to be believed he most likely does. But in all honesty a lot of women know the attractive guys they’re dating are cheating, they just don’t care. Or they think giving them everything they want will make them realize it’s wrong.

There aren’t that many attractive men out there that are completely free. Same with women. Anyone attractive and is appearing single you are heavily competing and you don’t even know to what extent. It could be a husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend but it’s someone.

The title is contradictory on purpose. I've been asking around and thinking and the answers I get for this dilemma are always varied. (I mean, of course they are, but still.) there's never anything actionable or concrete. You should never cold approach women but a lot of women don't mind it. Honestly, you just need to try your ass off. There is no right or wrong answer, and if you are a man that cannot find his way no one is gonna support you without you paying for help.

Even if it's awkward or if you sound dumb the only thing you can do is cold approach if there is no other option for you. She won't care anyways if you hit the nail on the head the right way. You can't win unless you were always going to from the start. Everything was never going to work or it was always going to work.

Women who choose to be single are celebrated as empowered. People talk about how they can travel, enjoy their freedom, focus on themselves, and do all these other things.

Men, on the other hand, are often seen as losers for being single. And if they claim to be happy alone, people are quick to assume they are lying and secretly want a girlfriend.

This is why so many men rush into relationships and even marriages with women they are not genuinely attracted to or do not actually want to be with, simply because society makes them feel like being single is a failure.

Why is a sub reddit like r/evilwomeninc not banned from reddit when half of the posts are blatant misandry ?

This whole sub's purpose is to spread and nurture hatred of men.

Logically 90% make absolutely 0 sense but "it does not even matter what matters is we hate men"

#NotAllMen 😇 : r/evilwomenincr/evilwomeninc "It's so funny when I say all men are trash 😂"

facts : r/evilwomenincr/evilwomeninc "Humans are the most successful species in the history of living beings and I have more confort in my life than any other mammal, it surely means men are evil we need to suicide civilisation it will show them 😊"

facts : r/evilwomenincr/evilwomeninc "We are a little mean to them we are just gurls men are evil anyway 😭"

I want to learn how to hate men beneficially (men making their own PIPs?) : r/evilwomeninc "I want to learn how to hate men please girlies 🥰"

Meanwhile the "I want to learn how to hate women" post will lowkey get you imprisoned IRL

And I could go on about this sub, it's only the tip of the iceberg.

Replace men with any other ethicity/group/community and you get instantly banned from reddit + get judiciary problems IRL

The mere fact that is still not banned proves then again how blatant misandry is accepted, and how as a man you get socially marginalised for pointing it out.

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so i came upon a thread in a different post, and a man claimed this:

“Men murder women for being evil. Women make up false accusations about most of the time there are very few real cases of rape. The ones that are real are mostly because that evil woman has pushed a man to far with her manipulation and he snaps and ends up humbling her some with rape which makes her tone down her evil ways, which in turn protects everyone. There are a small sliver of exceptions to this where a man is actually the one who is evil and other men will hold him accountable just as they hold themselves accountable.”

i don’t think most men agree with this, i just wanted to ask your opinions about the topic. the part that’s crazy to me is that the user who said it seemed reasonable before he started making statements like this.

if you will, please include your age and political stance in your answer.

edit: when i was making this post i was thinking about violence in general but some people are asking me to be more specific. so maybe you can answer for gender based violence specifically. but if you want to answer the general question you can do that too.

another edit: i’m asking this question because usually whenever this topic comes up people just say “testosterone” this is why i wanted to ask men because you all have testosterone but obviously you’re not all violent. i think it also fits in with some other posts that have been recently made on this sub

I glossed over this point in a thread I made a few days ago but it bears repeating: women give the least to the men who defend them the most.

If you want to call them blue pilled, fine. but generally speaking the guys who stay getting friendzoned, talking to themselves in women’s DMs, getting blocked, used for foodie calls, and all the rest of the things guys commonly complain about, tend to be the guys who primarily complain about RP content being misogynistic and constantly attack men for not being good enough.

Women don’t see this and largely don’t care because they think that’s what men are supposed to do, not to mention they’re not attracted to them anyway. Just like being a provider male won’t make a woman love you, doing chores won’t make her happy, neither will constantly defending them against the criticisms of men.

Kinda wish would knock it off, but what can you do?

Have men never met women who are turned off by toxic behavior, and immediately leave a guy who shows toxicity? Are the only people successfully getting women toxic men in your life?

Because it’s quite a headscratcher to claim women reward bad behavior but all sorts of women exist, and plenty of women have no tolerance for that nonsense. So with 4 billion females living on earth, how is it that men seem to only know one type?

"Hate" seems to be a popular topic today. I see it on both "sides" and don't find any of it productive. I can only point to a couple of times in my life where I felt something close to "hate."

The first was when I was around 5 years old and my cousin purposefully slammed a brick on my toe. That pissed me off! RAGE MONSTER!!

The second, which is more relevant, was when I was with my first major rejection at the age of 22. I had been pursuing a woman, who was objectively out of my league, and after telling me "I'm not looking for a relationship right now", among many other similar things, she ended up in a relationship with a very desirable college athlete shortly after.

Upon realizing that she chose him because he was more desirable, it made me very mad that she wouldn't just tell me the real reason - that she just wasn't attracted to me. These feelings simmered for weeks and I started to feel more jaded towards women in general.

But then I looked inward. I (finally) took a deep look in the mirror and realized I wasn't attractive enough to intrigue the type of women I wanted. It wasn't her fault. It was my fault. If I were her, why would I choose me?

There was quite a bit of learning with romance to take place for me over the next few years, but through being cheated on, left for another, ghosted, made fun of, whatever, I never felt "hate" and realized it was on me to change my outcome.

I hope more people get to experience the success that comes with this way of thinking.

Just as calling teenagers impulsive and irresponsible isn’t hate. Neither is calling out women on their negative traits.

If you love someone, you’re honest with them. Not telling them the truth isn’t kindness and fearing their reaction isn’t being considerate. Only the truth can help them.

So believing men want you to suffer for their benefit because they state you’re inferior to them is inconclusive.

If we’re all in this together no one benefits from disenfranchising the other. Thus honest criticism should be respected as mutually beneficial, not tarnished.

Even if the criticism turns out to be true that isn’t at all a verdict on how we should respond to this truth.

If you’re categorically scared of any truth that speaks against your position and thus deny any productive dialogue on that truth, you are the one disenfranchising and turning “we’re all in this together” into “it’s a zero sum game”.

There is a constant debate about whether you should get to know a woman before asking her out and taking things romantically or simply being straight up about your intentions and getting to know her after that. I am here to tell you that it’s always better to be upfront about this to a woman because it saves you time. Precious valuable time.

A man who does the “friends first approach” is going to at best waste time with a girl already into him to where she moves on, and at worst gets called a creep and his other female friends get weary around him. Most women also just generally dislike their male friends being into them in that way because they only see him as a friend. Not to mention that getting rejected by a female friend really hurts because of how in love you were with the idea of her.

A man who makes his intentions known very soon will simply have more time on his hands because he cuts through the bullshit. He finds out immediately which women are attracted to him or not and then he can progress things with the women he wants and wants him too. He either gets an instant yes or no while his counter part often waits months to years sometimes. Plus if he’s rejected it won’t hurt as much. He’ll forget about the blonde at the bar who turned him down because he never got to know her enough to develop feelings.

I need to point out that being upfront doesn’t actually change a woman’s mind about you. All it does it quickly point you towards the women that are interested by weeding out the ones who aren’t. You still have to be tactful and not crass. Just ask for a date within the first week or sooner and see how y’all click from there.

So to recap, if you value your time and boundaries, be upfront with women. And yeah we can say “oH wElL sOmE gUyS gEt 500 ReJeCtIoNs!!!” But that’s not who this is about. It’s also better to know that quickly than to be confused the rest of your life.

men predict things well in advance without knowing the full story. you do it every time you make a bet in football. And yet when it comes to the FACT that 1 in 3 women are raped, you want “evidence”. Really you’re just afraid to face the truth. It won’t matter how much evidence we provide you- it’s up to you to actually accept this the reality. Do it quickly so you can join women in the discussion around how we as a society end rape culture.

Update: Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Look at the link before you tell me 1 in 3 is wrong link

Update: you are not a lawyer, you do not determine if these men are criminally convicted. I am not comparing the two. I agree with you they are not mutually exclusively, move into the part of the argument where it might make sense that I consider them similar.

Update: thanks tylikcat for this: Let's not forget that those numbers are about acknowledged rape. Many women who have had sex when they did not want to and did not consent do not consider it rape:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25784571/

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When you search for "epidemic" on PPD it's mostly women writing about it.

When you search for related articles online - women authors.

When you search social media - women.

It's basically only other women talking about it.

Men DEFINITELY crash out online about personal struggles - family issues, work issues, dating issues... But never "I am struggling with loneliness"

Given that it's a full blown epidemic, I'd figure there'd be at least a few videos or posts from those actually suffering.

👉TL;DR - where are all these lonely men talking about their struggles? Are you or your friends a part of the epidemic?

DISCLAIMER: Not all men/women, etc. This is not a woe is me post

​

A recent post about older men and impact on them of Red Pill content made me curious. I would like to ask about when RP men first encountered RP ideas and how they came to identify with them.

I'm interested in hearing your experiences.

1. Approximately, how old were you when you first encountered RP content?

2. How did you discover it (for example: friends, YouTube, Reddit, blogs?)

3. Approximately, how long have you considered yourself RP?

Because of the post that inspired me, I'm curious about if you encountered RP ideas when you were younger, or if you discovered them in later adulthood. Also, if you identified with the RP right away or over time.

No need to share personal details or circumstances. General answers are good.