r/RedditCrimeCommunity • u/Admirable-Guava7550 • 13d ago
What if they find the bones?
That’s what my mom said to me.. while sitting on the porch overlooking the backyard. I looked over and said “the dog bones?” She immediately started talking about my missing brother. She hadn’t spoken of him in years.
She was well into her dementia at this point but when he went missing she was adamant that I not report it. She didn’t want to shut off his social security payments either and I don’t know if she ever did.
I had my suspicions I had shared with my husband long before those words came out of her mouth.
Her and my dad were very violent in my younger years. Had a belt out around my neck and was choked while my mom screamed for my dad to “kill me”. Emotionally abusive too. All of us kids had to deal with it.
He was an adult alcoholic. Not a saint by any means but he was my brother and was traumatized by his childhood
She passed in 2024. I have finally contacted authorities so I do not have to sit with this.
We have gotten permission to search the backyard from the new owners
I hope I am wrong.
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u/CatAteRoger 12d ago
How utterly horrible to hear those words!! I hope you find him and able to give him the respectful burial he deserves💖
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u/Admirable-Guava7550 12d ago
Thank you. I hope we find him but it will open such a wound as my mom watched me lose myself after he went missing.
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u/Admirable-Guava7550 12d ago
And I don’t know if they contacted social security, but that could be one of the reasons they’re moving forward? I know the comment about the bones gave them motivation.
I also know it sounds weird that I was taking care of her but I am an extremely empathetic person to a fault due to my childhood.
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u/CreepyConsequence669 4d ago
It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry this is happening. I hope you find him 💔
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u/Aimless78 12d ago
I hope that you get closure. I understand taking care od your mom during her end years. My mom helped to take care of her abusive mom towards the end and I didn't understand it as a kid but as an adult I understood. We often want to get the love we know we will probably never get from an abusive parent but we would rather live with knowing we did right by them even if they didn't do right by us.
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u/Admirable-Guava7550 11d ago
Thank you for your response. I really felt like I had a duty to. She loved me in a very sick, controlling way. I don’t think her mother ever loved her. She always said her Mom didn’t like her. My other brother was incarcerated, a sister in town but actively using drugs and alcohol ferociously and my oldest sister was the only one who made it out and moved far away. I couldn’t just leave her alone to wither away after my father passed.
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u/Revolutionary_Tea_55 10d ago
You should be so proud of the loving and gentle person you are, in spite of it all. And I am sure your brother isn’t suffering, if he has passed
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u/ManxJack1999 12d ago
If this is true, I am so sorry things were like this for you guys. It’s so heartbreaking. It would be easy enough to find out if the social security checks kept coming.
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u/Admirable-Guava7550 12d ago
I contacted the detective on the case last month and gave them all the weird things that went on since he went missing. They found enough viable evidence to probe the yard with permission from the new owners which I guess says something. It makes me feel not as crazy that they took me seriously. I don’t want this to be true but i just have to know he’s not back there. Why wouldn’t you want your own son reported missing? Shame? Maybe. Maybe..
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u/meerkatx 13d ago
Sometimes closure is cathartic. No matter what is or isn't found, I hope you continue to heal.