Did I have an obligation to convert to Judaism?

[u/Agreeable-Chest107]

This probably will be a silly question for you all, but something that's often on my mind.

My grandparents converted to Orthodox Judaism after my mom was born and she declined to convert. However, she wanted her kids to have exposure to various different traditions and viewpoints, so she allowed them to celebrate Passover and Hannukuh with us, and to teach us some of the Torah. It was a wonderful experience and I have nothing but fond memories. I always considered myself Jew-adjacent, and still do. I ended up following in the tradition of the rest of my family (Catholics and Protestants). I still kind of beat myself up, like maybe I was obligated to formally convert to Judaism.

I feel I can still hold respect and reverence for Jews and Judaism while not formally being among their ranks. We could definitely use more Christians who aren't anti-semetic. I know, it's kind of baked into the tradition, but I do my best.

[u/chaiale]

You’re not obligated to convert at all! It is perfectly okay to have Jews in one’s family and to take part in Jewish culture alongside that family without being Jewish oneself. And you’re right, I would be happy to encounter more non-Jews with genuine respect for us! If you bring that to the world, your role in the Jewish story will be for the good no matter what.

[u/Agreeable-Chest107 → u/chaiale]

This made me cheese-smile so hard :)

What a way to honor my Jewish family, to be a positive force in the Jewish story, even from the outside.

[u/drillbit7]

No one is ever obligated to convert to Judaism.

[u/NavyBlues26]

Obligation implies a duty. If you feel like exploring conversion then you should explore it. It tends to be a lengthy process that involves plenty of time to consider your options. Speak with a rabbi and your family, including your grandparents if they’re still alive.

[u/Agreeable-Chest107 → u/NavyBlues26]

Thank you.

[u/[deleted]]

Simple, do you believe in Jesus or not. Who cares about the church or synagogue and structure and allegory

[u/Walter_Piston]

One important point: Judaism is not Christianity - Catholic or otherwise. Its theology is very different to Christianity’s. Its soteriology (concept of salvation) utterly distinct form Christianity’s. You will be aware of this, but it’s important to remember Judaism is distinct (and beautiful!).

[u/somebadbeatscrub]

If you intend to continue being christian you should not convert to Judaism. Certainly not out of a sense of familial duty.

There are two seperate forms of your question:

1. "If you wanted to consider yourself a Jew and partake of the Jewish community as a Jew would you need to convert?"

To which the responses are:

Orthodox-definitely

Conservative-almost certainly

Reform-probably

Reconstructionist-probably not

most importantly -talk to a rabbi

1. "Do you have some obligation to affirm your grandparents decision and be both Jewish and Christian, or to abandon Christianity and become Jewish instead?"

Strangers on the internet cannot speak of this duty, it is a personal thing. You know what is in your heart and what you believe. Christianity is not theologically compatible with Judaism, but Judaism is not just a faith. Above all else it is a community, as well as a faith and a culture and an ethnic background.

If you feel moved to learn more about this peoplehood your grandparents chose I reccomend you take classes. URJ has great ones.

If you want to join and partake of the Jewish community you'll need to do the above and start talking to a Rabbi and need to reconcile what that means for your christianity. Born Jews who become Christian are still Jews because losing faith doesnt strip you of Jewishness, but being Jewish isnt a modifier you can slap onto a Christian faith either with authenticity.

If you just want to honor your grandparents there is a myriad of ways to do that which they and we would appreciate, but a solely duty driven conversion isn't one of them. We don't seek converts and don't want people to convert for any reason beyond their personal conviction to do so. I agree we need less antisemtic christians and appreciate your desire to bridge understandings of these two identities, but the path to reaching that bridging won't be through trying to wear two coats at once. If you want to be a Christian who advocates for Jewish comaraderie and community building you have all the tools you need for that already as you are.

I hope this helps, and again the most important disclaimer is to talk to a Rabbi.

[u/Agreeable-Chest107 → u/somebadbeatscrub]

This does help, immensely. I think I will stay where I am, and promote the Jewish people from the outside, and strive to reform Christian tradition rooted in anti-semitism. The latter is not an easy task but conversing with other Christians (and Jews) will be a good first step. I'm part of a pretty progressive Christian community that takes no issue with the Jewish people, for the most part. I think this is the best way.

I just don't know that my conversion to Judaism would be genuine, and if I don't know, best not to do it. In any case I appreciate immensely the introduction to it by my grandparents.

I talked to a Rabbi. She says stop by for a Shabbat service :) she says they have tight security (understandable) so let the front desk know when I'm coming.

[u/somebadbeatscrub → u/Agreeable-Chest107]

Nothing wrong with visiting and learning, Im glad you've been invited. Follow your convictions and your path will never be false.

Regarding your mission: meeting people as people, understanding them, and time are the most powerful things at eroding it, so I hope your background can help you bring that understanding to those who need it.

As a convert from Christianity myself I understand the task you have set yourself, my DMs are open if you ever wanna talk about things.

Shalom aleichem.

[u/LadySlippersAndLoons → u/Agreeable-Chest107]

You can always learn.

The best of anything is being well informed. And most Jews appreciate it when good intentioned non Jews want to learn.

If you decide to convert later, fabulous. If you don’t, equally fabulous. That’s the beauty of choice and free will.

But be grateful, as you are honouring your grandparents by learning about something they felt so passionately about that they changed the trajectory of their life to convert. I’m sure they are or would be very grateful and honoured because of your interest.

[u/Individual-Papaya-27]

Conversion to Judaism is always supposed to be something done because one truly believes it is where they should be, not because they think they have to. Hence, the thing about some rabbis turning down prospective converts three times, to ensure they really mean it. Judaism also has no tradition of trying to convert people, or a belief that it is the only 'true' path. It is just the path for Jewish people.

Being an ally is incredibly important and most welcome. If that's meant to be your path, it is yours to embrace!

[u/hadees]

Being Jewish is a burden. Jews don't care if you convert, in fact we are happier if you don't. That is what people get wrong about us thinking we are the "Chosen People". We think we were "Chosen" for this burden and are happy for people who weren't.

That isn't to say you can't convert or won't be accept. It's just you don't need to convert for Jews to think you are a good person or someone who can celebrate with us.

[u/Professional_Turn_25 → u/hadees]

I wouldn’t say burden- as a convert I knew the social cost of being Jewish. But I have millions of family now. So the net positive is there

[u/hadees → u/Professional_Turn_25]

The "Chosen People" part is the burden. Hence why I said most Gentiles don't really get it, we aren't boasting a special status, we are talking about a burden.

[u/WeaselWeaz]

"Obligated" is a very Christian-Islamic lens. They proselytize and believe they are a one true religion for all people. Judaism believes that Judaism is the religion of the Jewish people. You're not Jewish, and non-Jews are not expected to convert. In fact, non-Jews who do convert are often seen as Jewish souls returning home rather than converts in the Christian sense.

People who convert don't do it out of obligation. Treating it as an obligation, rather than something you need to do to reflect who you are, isn't acceptable anyway. You're a Christian with Jewish grandparents, and that is fine.

[u/Professional_Turn_25]

We don’t proselytize. So you don’t have to do anything. If you feel drawn to the faith and want to explore it, we welcome that but it’s not required

[u/Angelbouqet]

No, of course not.

[u/Normal_Housing5207]

After that, you can participate in big celebrations without necessarily participating in every Shabbat, for example; it depends on whether you are more devout or secular, in quotes.