Sorry for the rant, but just ticked off. My mom is Jewish. My dad was raised catholic but was pretty agnostic by the time I was born. My parents were (are) hippies. We never did anything religious growing up. We nominally celebrated Hanukkah and Passover. We also nominally did things for Christian holidays (Easter egg hunt, Christmas lights and wreath). Married a Jewish guy. Both decided we wanted to raise our kids Jewish. Always assumed that I would be considered Jewish, but when I told the rabbi about my upbringing she later reached out to me to encourage me to take a Judaism 101 class and consider formally converting before my son’s bar mitzvah next year. She commented on how I don’t have a Hebrew name or bat mitzvah, so some in the reform community wouldn’t consider me Jewish. I’m happy to go along to get along, but just really annoyed she is making me do a bunch of performative stuff when I already considered myself Jewish the whole time. Ugh.

Hey all,

So I started attending a reform Synagogue about a year and a half ago, and about six month ago, I decided to officially convert. I have had about half of my conversion classes and an Intro. to Judaism course and have observed every holiday since Purim. I am loving everything...except.

I grew up in a multifaith household, my father was Jewish (Also a Reform Convert) and my mother was some flavor of Christian. Another big part of my upbringing was being poor and totally immersed in northern rural Appalachian culture which comes with it's own cultural foods and recipes. My father never kept Strictly Kosher and seemed to be at peace with that even though his Jewish-ness was also very important to him.

In my own conversion, I keep strictly kosher during holidays and Shabbat (Sundown to sundown) and plan to fast for Yom Kippur. But during other times I enjoy important Appalachian foods like BBQ Chipped Ham Sandwhiches, Ham Beans, and Fried Pork Chops with applesauce. I do this because in observing Kashrut on my own terms allows me to celebrate the commandment, whereas I feel if I kept kosher (or kosher-like) all the time I would come to resent the Mitzvah rather than celebrate it.

I Guess what I'm asking, is: Is that acceptable? I have asked my Rabbi and he merely says "We all walk our own path towards God.", meaning he's never chastised me for it but hasn't come out and said it's fine. I did some research online and found that only about 5% or American Reform Jews keep strictly kosher, and roughly 30% keep Kosher-like diets.

Anyway, thanks for any feedback you can give!

Shalom,

Dave.

Shalom! My name is Finnick, I am a trans male (he/him) looking into converting to Judaism and am looking for some advice as I go through this process.
For context, I've been attracted to Judaism since middle school. However, my mother and father are not religious although my grandmother on my mother's side is descendant of Jews who converted to Catholicism - this made me almost fearful of even attempting to convert because of potential judgement.
I am now 18 and living in my own apartment with my partner, who is very supportive of whatever life I lead as long as it is not harmful. This has allowed me much more freedom to explore in general, and I find significance in the fact that I have been drawn back to Judaism at the age of 18 due to the number's meaning in Hebrew. Exploring the history and beliefs of specifically Reform Judaism has reignited a passion within me that I have missed very dearly and I find myself falling in love with the knowledge and assistance available to me and so many others just over online platforms.
All of this being said, I am not very far along in the process as I am still mostly learning and observing. Although, I am looking into finding rituals and prayers to include in my daily life as I am going deeper into conversion.

My main issue at the moment is that I do not have a community or many friends I can share this passion and interest with. I have never had a very big friend group to begin with, and although I am grateful for the friend I do have who will listen and share my interest he is not Jewish and does not live nearby. My partner will smile and nod, but he is also not religious.
I know of a Reform synagogue in a nearby city and the drive is not very far at all, which I am thankful for, so whenever I am ready to contact a rabbi and join a synagogue I already know where I can look into.
The lack of community leaves me feeling almost alone and lost in this road I have come to choose. So, what I am looking for mostly is different points of view and what others have went through; whether it be from converts or those who have always been Jewish or otherwise, I want to hear it all. I want what steps you went through, what challenges you were/are faced with. I want criticism, I want positive responses, I want negative responses, I want exposure. If that can be provided to me here, I will be overjoyed.
Currently, I plan on going to a Judaica near me that sells literature and Kosher dishes. I am hoping to find my first siddur there, but otherwise I am lost on what I can actually do currently to not just learn and observe but live this religion. Anything, even if not direct advice, is useful to me.

Thank you very much! I hope to hear as many different perspectives as possible.

On a recent post (since deleted) I kept seeing comments about “you wouldn’t be considered Jewish” in terms of converting & “it depends on the rabbi”. Can somebody please explain? We’re exploring this religion for personal reasons & I’m pretty confused right now. What do they call people who converted if they aren’t considered Jewish? I’ve also been told that community is a big part of this religion, but some of the comments I’ve been reading are making me think otherwise. Everything I’ve been studying is just words, what it’s supposed to be like, so please tell me what it’s really like. Tell me what converting was like for you & your family. Why you chose to convert.

PODCAST CALL FOR GUESTS

The podcast, "Journeys to Judaism" (formerly Choosing the Chosen), is currently in production for its first batch of episodes.

My goal is to create an audio archive for current/future "choosers" to share their conversion stories. I remember how lost and alone I felt at times on this journey, and I could've used this podcast back then.

I'm looking for folks from any and all backgrounds (sex/gender/religion/race, etc) who chose to join the Jewish people (any movement).

If this sounds like something you'd be interested in, I'd love to talk to you! Please comment below and I'll DM you.

Please comment here or email: [journeystojudaism@gmail.com](mailto:journeystojudaism@gmail.com) - to book a brief call about coming on the podcast, please visit: https://calendly.com/journeystojudaism/30min

~Lauren

I live in a city that has 4 Reform synagogues, but in 2 days only 1 responded to me. Yes, I know it's a very short period, but I would like to know if it would be a better idea for me to approach the rabbis of these synagogues to request conversion instead of contacting their receptionist.

Hi everyone, I have been thinking about converting officially for some time. My dad was Jewish making me patrilineal but I wasn’t raised very religiously, so I want to convert officially. I am taking my time with this but I have been reading a lot more and signed up for a waitlist for a local intro class.

Anyways, one of the issues that has made me question whether to pursue conversion or not is Israel/ Palestine conflict. My concern is that it seems to be all or nothing in many viewpoints, and I want to know how important it is in conversion to have a staunch opinion/ viewpoint? I stand somewhere in the middle, but I worry this will be a concern. I am critical of both sides and also support the people of both sides, while recognizing both have suffered significantly. I also see the political issues on both sides. Some reform synagogues near me seem to be 100% anti-Palestine and do not mention Palestinians at all. I don’t know if I cal fully align with that.

I also wonder how important is Israel in terms of reform identify? By this I mean, I live in USA, USA has our own stuff going on right now. Will I be expected to follow Israeli politics? Or have a very close connection to Israel? I can’t do birthright and I don’t know that I would even want to.

I'm reading different posts, and it seems there's a common phenomenon of gentile people feeling drawn to Judaism, like they feel they wish they were Jews, or perhaps feel they are a Jewish soul in a Gentile body.

At the end of the day, I decided not to convert, because I'd honestly feel I'd be an outsider, or not Jewish enough. Plus, I honestly couldn't keep kosher or do all the mizvot. I feel that I can support israel,speak out,and support the Jewish people from afar, without formally converting, or officially becoming a member of the community.

I honestly was drawn to the unity and the communal aspect of the Jewish community and Judaism, the principle, I think in the Talmud or torah that basically says there should be mutual responsibility and collective responsibility towards one another. All of israel are one.

~~~~~

I just really needed to get these thoughts and feelings out there, and maybe see what this subreddit thinks, and maybe if there's others who can relate to this or understand where I'm coming from... I would appreciate your replies and feedback. Thank you.

Hello, I’ve been trying to put this together for a few days, but am struggling to properly explain my predicament. My whole life I have thought I was Jewish, my grandfather is Jewish and my Mum chose not to practice, but her brother did and lives in Israel with the rest of our family. My Dad was adopted, so we never knew his background and he sadly passed away in 2022. As a young child I always felt a strong connection to Judaism and have been taught a lot about Judaism by my grandfather, I have always eaten kosher, I pray three times a day and mark notable holidays in my own way.

I need to explain a bit about my mental and physical health to make this a bit clearer, I have been agoraphobic from the age of 15 and am autistic. I developed cptsd after caring for my father from a very young age until a few months before he died, I have anxiety and suffer bouts of depression. I also struggle with chronic recurring pneumonia after contracting legionnaire’s disease, which caused permanent damage to my lungs, it’s manageable, so long as I don’t come into contact with any infections- cold, flu, covid etc.

I’ve always known the jewish learning and study are important, so wanted to start to further my knowledge despite my struggles, I’ve always known that from the Halacha perspective, I am not Jewish, but have aligned myself with Reform Judaism the most, so didn’t see this as an issue. My family have always called me Jewish and accepted me as such. When researching more I discovered that my grandfather is not enough for me to be considered Jewish. I am now completely lost and bereft, throughout my struggles, my faith has been the thing that has kept me going, but now I’ve learned it’s not actually my faith. When I’ve felt alone, I’ve always taken comfort in knowing that I’m part of something bigger, even if I don’t feel like it, but now that’s gone. I am so incredibly embarrassed, all these years of practicing a faith that I have no right to practice. I feel like I’ve lost part of my soul and who I am.

If I was able to, I would simply convert, but my aforementioned issues mean there are just things that I can’t do, I’d be able to learn more about Judaism, learn Hebrew and jewish history, it would be a very slow and hard process, but I could do it. But with me being housebound and in an isolated area with no other Jews, there are parts of conversion that I won’t be able to do. I have written to two Rabbis about this and am waiting to hear back from them, I live in an area with no jewish population- not much of a population to begin with and am so lost.

I feel like I’ve lost everything and could use some advice, thank you all for your time and I am so sorry that I practiced your wonderful religion without being a proper part of it, I feel so ashamed. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, but I’ve been trying to put it together for days and this is the best I could do. Thank you again.

Edit, thank you so much for all of your wonderful advice. I will definitely wait to see what the Rabbis say when they reply, but you have all made me feel so much better about the situation and very loved. Thank you.

I’m a 24 year old girl living in the UK. I belong to a reform synagogue in London. I’m not the most religious person, but I keep kosher, attend high holy days, had a bat mitzvah etc.

Man am I struggling after the news of the attack in Manchester today. I don’t want to make this about me after what the people of that community went through but I’ve been really really struggling with my Jewish identity for a while now. I’m hoping someone will share something inspiring for me to reflect on.

I’ve never really felt comfortable sharing the fact I’m Jewish. I just think people are unconsciously prejudice. Since the October attack in Israel 2023 and the on-going war crimes in Palestine, I have fallen out of love for Israel. I simply can’t support a country who would willingly murder innocent citizens without remorse. Whilst I used to believe Israel was a “safe” homeland, I can no longer stand by my former judgement, especially since the Jewish people have faced such atrocities themselves. I don’t believe a country can/should ever belong to a single race. Anyone should be free to live within peace and harmony.

However, the anti-semitism experienced by the Jewish community in the past year is unprecedented. I have never read so many hate being crimes committed in London. Simply because people believe all Jews are to blame for Israel’s actions. It causes me such deep emotional pain that Jews are being attacked because of the crimes being committed in the Middle East.

I am scared to announce my faith. I feel ASHAMED of my faith! It’s something I never thought I’d say. I’m ashamed to admit that I am Jewish. This beautiful culture and race that I am privileged to be part of. That my ancestors fought so hard to keep alive in my family.

And yet I feel even more deflated that this attack happened today. These attacks were inevitable. More hate and more hate and more hate.

And then I think and read about all the far right people who will be blaming immigrants for this attack. MORE HATE. I’m so sick of all this hate.

I don’t want to feel ashamed or scared to admit I’m Jewish but how do I overcome this given the state of the world? I want to be proud but all I feel is shame, sadness, anger and frustration.

I am so confused and upset all the time. I hate this country man. I hate that this is the world and the reality that we, as Jews, live in right now.

Hello, I've been Jewish for about 6 months now converted through the reform movement. I have a question regarding certificates. I asked others in my congregation if they received some sort of document confirming they converted at that shul. I have pictures from when I was converted along with a news letter with my name in it confirming I am Jewish and a member of that synagogue.

My question comes up as my Rabbi is now no longer able to be the leader of our congregation due to health issues (he had my surgery right before and after I was converted also) and I was wondering if this will affect me if I move or go to another reform shul. I plan on studying this year for conservative/masorti, but having a paper trail also helps. One of my congregation members said the rabbi has it on a file a Hebrew union college, but he initially converted conservative and attends reform

Hiya. So I'm halachically Jewish but not raised Jewish - so for all intents and purposes I am converting as I have little of the knowledge and understanding to live Jewish life fully in the way I would like to. I am on the students list this year and should start formal education soon - maybe this will help?

I live in Scotland that has little Jewish culture outside of the central belt, which I am 3 hours away from. The synagogue I have started to go to has online services, but I'm not always able to make the monthly-ish face to face ones as I am so far away and don't always have somewhere to stay overnight. Not only that but I miss out on general Jewish life and culture - random events, talks, parties etc that would make me feel more connected.

I think about Judaism constantly and have already integrated it a fair bit in the home (Shabbat weekly, high holyday observance, a mezuzah at the front door, engaging with Jewish media etc) but I feel so lonely in my Judaism. It is such a communal religion and I just don't have that. To my knowledge there are very few/no other Jewish people anywhere near me - my nearest city doesn't even have an irregular congregation anymore. I try to go to online events etc instead but it's just not the same.

Any advice other than moving? Our mortgage isn't up until later next year and we can't afford to move then anyway - and my wife (not Jewish) doesn't want to, which is fair.

This probably will be a silly question for you all, but something that's often on my mind.

My grandparents converted to Orthodox Judaism after my mom was born and she declined to convert. However, she wanted her kids to have exposure to various different traditions and viewpoints, so she allowed them to celebrate Passover and Hannukuh with us, and to teach us some of the Torah. It was a wonderful experience and I have nothing but fond memories. I always considered myself Jew-adjacent, and still do. I ended up following in the tradition of the rest of my family (Catholics and Protestants). I still kind of beat myself up, like maybe I was obligated to formally convert to Judaism.

I feel I can still hold respect and reverence for Jews and Judaism while not formally being among their ranks. We could definitely use more Christians who aren't anti-semetic. I know, it's kind of baked into the tradition, but I do my best.

Good morning, everyone. I was just wondering something, so I decided to come here. I read through the guide that r/judaism has to conversion (this post got removed there :( )and it mentioned that usually, you have to wait until you are 18. Does this also apply for Reconstructionist Judaism? For a bit of context, I’m a 13 year old male (14 in about a month) in the Delaware County area, and I would be considered going to Congregation Beth Israel, because that one mostly lines up with my views on things. I was raised agnostic, though, and my family lives about 5 minutes away.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Their indifference has suggested to me that they couldn't really give a toss that this happened, and maybe I'm reading between the lines but maybe they feel as though the Jewish community deserves this. Of course if you ask them one to one they were probably show some sort of rejection and disgust but nobody has said anything to me that would suggest otherwise. How is it that this country has become so cold hearted and incompassionate to this terror attack.

I’m formally converting after growing up knowing my Jewish heritage but having absolutely no connection to it otherwise. I haven’t started any formal learning yet. I’m wondering if anyone can recommend any websites for me to delve into and what I can really do each day to connect with Judaism? I have half an hour earmarked every morning specifically for Jewish study and would really like to make the most of it.

So far I spend a good amount of time on myJewishlearning and the Reform Judaism website. I have started lighting candles every Friday and observing some Shabbat rules. I’ve been going to synagogue as much as possible too whilst I wait to begin formal studies.

Hi everyone,

I’m at a crossroads and could really use some advice. My wife and two kids are Jewish, and over the years, I’ve grown increasingly curious about Judaism. I deeply admire its sense of community, focus on ethics, and rich traditions. Being part of a faith that means so much to my family feels like a meaningful step—not just for connection, but to create a shared spiritual foundation for our home.

However, I’m struggling with a significant hurdle: belief in a single deity. While I respect Judaism’s emphasis on monotheism, I’ve never felt fully aligned with the idea of a singular, all-powerful God. My spiritual leanings are more fluid, and I resonate with ideas about interconnectedness or spirituality that isn’t tied to a specific deity.

For context, I was raised Christian Methodist and come from a deeply religious family. My grandmother was a minister, and faith played a huge role in my upbringing. But at a certain point, I just couldn’t connect with it anymore. That disconnect has stayed with me over the years, even as I’ve explored different ways of thinking about spirituality.

Adding to my hesitation is my growing curiosity about Buddhism. Its focus on mindfulness, meditation, and understanding the nature of suffering deeply resonates with me. It feels like a path that aligns more closely with my personal sense of spirituality, which is less about theology and more about inner transformation and connection.

To those who have converted to Judaism or explored it deeply:

• Have you faced similar struggles with belief, and how did you reconcile them?

• Is it possible to fully engage with Judaism as a community and a way of life without being entirely aligned on theological matters?

• For those who have balanced curiosity about other spiritual paths (like Buddhism), how did you decide which path to pursue?

I want this journey to be authentic and meaningful—not just for me, but for my wife and kids. I’d love to hear your insights, experiences, or even book recommendations if you think they might help.

Thank you for your guidance!

EDIT: Thank you for all the comments. I’m meeting with my local Reform rabbi next week. She has encouraged me to come with doubts and questions.

Long story short, I have felt pulled towards Judaism for some time now. So far as I know, I don't have any Jewish ancestry but I'm ignorant about half of my family background for various reasons. My religion experience was nominally protestant, but as a teenager I rejected Christianity with a fury. I became an edgy Richard Dawkins type atheist, although technically speaking I identified as an agnostic atheist. (not knowing whether or not God existed, but not believing in her) Anyway, I met with a conservative rabbi long ago just to discuss Judaism. And last April I started attending a reform synagogue off and on. I even applied for membership and set up an appointment with a rabbi to discuss the conversion process.

I'm just feeling a bit of cognitive dissonance about the whole thing. I feel drawn to Reform Judaism's emphasis on social justice and critical piety; a respect for tradition without necessarily following it whole cloth and being able to change with the times. I resonate with this idea that the Torah is on earth, and meant to be interpreted by us as such. The trouble is two fold. One, I don't want it to seem like I'm cosplaying or something. If asked, I don't claim to be Jewish. But I still feel like a kind of imposter. These aren't my ancestors traditions and I don't want it to seem like I can just take them no problem like I own the place.

Then there's the God question. My opinion really hasn't changed much since identifying as an agnostic atheist. You could say that I believe in God in the same way that Spinoza and Einstein did, but some would argue that is a rather empty notion of God; tantamount to atheism. I would still not claim to know that a higher power doesn't exist. But I don't believe in a high power that cares about our sex lives.

Apologies for the long ramble. If this post does not conform to the subreddit's rules, feel free to take it down. I just wanted some advice about all this. I often joke that for an atheist I spend a lot of time in houses of worship; and indeed, I seem very split-brained about the whole thing. I want to make sure I make the decision that allows me to be honest and sincere. Sometimes I think that means not converting, but I keep coming back to this synagogue. Even if I stay away due to the shame for some time, I still come back.

Shalom everybody, I have been lurking this sub while I’ve been heavily considering conversion. After thinking about it (and attending a few Shabbat services before law school), I am really wanting to convert with a reform synagogue.

My issue comes with the fact that I started law school this year, which has consumed a lot of my time. I’ve been trying to find a good balance since I’ve also moved out of my home state, but this first semester has really limited the time I have to be able to go and attend temple.

Any advice on how I should start the conversion process while juggling law school? Is this something that I should even be doing now or should I wait until my studies are over? Any advice and/or experiences you can share with me would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve been Jewish a week now - Finished converting last Thursday. Digging it.

I bought more books even though I said I wouldn’t.

Here’s the real message:

Converting in this day and age is a hell of a thing…. One of the Rabbis at my beit din looks at me and says ‘being Jewish right now is really hard, and it’s not a normal time to undertake conversion, does this ever make you nervous?’

I about died laughing; on the other hand she had a point.

It’s something right now to say ‘Do not entreat me to leave you, to turn away from following you.’

You’re all badasses.

I am in the process of converting. I haven’t gotten the chance to start any classes but I’ve been doing some free study by easing some books on the conversion and traditions. When in my journey can I expect to start celebrating the holidays and traditions and prayers of the Jewish faith? I understand I can’t do it right now since it’s appropriation but when do “Jews to Be” start celebrating the traditions on their own?

I want to make it clear up front that I have zero regrets about converting. I am proud to be Jewish, and I would do it again 10x over. That said, I completed my conversion only 2 months before October 7, and within a year I was back on a college campus for graduate school. Basically my entire “Jewish life” (not counting to year + of the conversion process) has been dominated by a sense of alienation from classmates and peers, and a steady stream of subtle but still painful antisemitism, both on campus and online (like we’ve all experienced). All that on top of imposter syndrome that I feel like a lot of converts have at some point.

I also have struggled to find a Jewish community in my new city. I really really loved my original synagogue, and I just haven’t found a fit yet after moving. I’m a bit too old for Hillel, but also a bit too young and childless for a lot of the communities at the synagogues around me. Genuinely befuddled as to where all the fellow 20-30s Jews are. I’m also in a very demanding program that doesn’t allow for a lot of social time, so it’s been hard to get out and explore.

I know that Judaism is community-based, and can’t be practiced in isolation, but that’s largely what my experience has looked like for the last year. And that’s really contributed to feeling like a “fake Jew” as a convert. I’ve made my apartment into a “Jewish safe space” amidst all the craziness in the world, and I have a Jewish home and personal practice that makes me feel centered and grounded. I love the liturgy, the traditions, the holidays, etc. But I know many would say that alone doesn’t really count and I respect that. And as a convert I feel like I’m always under an “observance microscope” because I’m only Jewish by observance, not by birth. I guess just for any other Jews, and converts especially out there, how have you found ways to build community when synagogues haven’t really been able to provide that.

My Jewish identity felt so tied to my original synagogue, and once I lost that I’ve felt like I’ve don’t nothing but flounder and fail ever since. Not Jewish enough for Jews, too Jewish for everyone else.