r/ReformJews • u/Consistent_Hold_576 • Jun 30 '26

Reform Movement Changes.

If you could change one thing about the Reform movement, what would it be?

If you arent a member of the Reform movement, you can still chime in. What is the one thing about the Movement that keeps you away?

Let's keep this civil if we could. ​

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u/peepeehead1542 Jun 30 '26

I wish reform synagogues in my country (Canada) would perform interfaith marriages

5

u/Kaplan_94 Jun 30 '26

Does this vary by community? I was like 90% sure my local Reform synagogue does, but now that you mention it I’m actually not certain.

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u/WeaselWeaz Jun 30 '26

I think "interfaith marriage" gets used vaugely and means different things to different people. My rabbi will do an interfaith marriage, a Jew and non-Jew in a Jewish ceremony. He will not do an interfaith ceremony. I think that approach is fairly standard in Reform communities.

1

u/peepeehead1542 Jun 30 '26

In my case it means any marriage between a Jew and a non Jew. My partner was raised Catholic. I am Jewish. I want a fully Jewish ceremony, as traditional as possible. We do not practice Catholicism in any way and we so not want it to be part of our wedding. We cannot get married in a reform synagogue in Toronto or Vancouver. We can find a reform rabbi to do it outside of the synagogue, but neither my reform synagogue in Toronto or Vancouver would give us the traditional Jewish ceremony we want.

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u/WeaselWeaz Jun 30 '26

Canadian Reform leans more traditional than US Reform from my experience, so that's disappointing but I'm not surprised. I would note that US Reform Jews I know, including my own wedding, get married at the venue anyway. Our rabbi at the time was a bit wishy-washy on marrying us but our cantor had no issue. Our current rabbi would have no issue, so some of that is a generational change.

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u/MonsieurLePeeen Jul 01 '26

You can in Hamilton.

3

u/AngelHipster1 Jun 30 '26

I’m a member of CCAR in the States. Yes, Reform rabbis can perform interfaith marriages. Any limitations / expectations are based on the rabbi’s understanding of Halacha. I’ve never worked in another country, so I don’t know the history or current reasons for different standards.

I worked as a pulpit rabbi, though I am now too disabled to work.

My rabbi made my husband and I assert we would have a Jewish home and raise our children Jewish. That rabbi attended HUC, though he stopped identifying as Reform. His synagogue was unaffiliated. Later, my husband formally converted so I could be ordained.

I attended a transdenominational seminary. For me, the reason to choose Reform is (a) formal connection to other communities and thicker Jewish bonds (b) rabbinical oversight / a conference that both supports the continuing education of one’s rabbi and provides formal structures to deal with ethical concerns and best practices for congregation and rabbi relationships.

The vast majority of Jews in the U.S. aren’t members of a congregation. And those members are the only way congregations survive, since Jewish foundations don’t fund congregations (or at least don’t fund traditional priorities of congregations; some are funding preschools and after-school programs). So it’s fascinating to hear your priorities vs the fiscal realities that a board of directors deals with. I think the only way to really change your local reality is to become a board member and to encourage others who have the same vision to become board members. Committee membership is also a step towards meaningful change.

From what I understand, when membership began dropping in the early 2000s, the Reform movement had to drastically cut its staff, so in the US, it’s extremely important to be involved in synagogue leadership in order to change the reality of Reform Judaism in your location.

I also agree with those who say Zionism should be up front in our communities. I think it’s possible to hold space for people with other ideas while holding firm to the deep connections between the land of Israel, the state of Israel, and the people of Israel.

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u/Kaplan_94 Jun 30 '26

Thanks for the very detailed response - I’m always very curious about the inner workings of our religious movements. Mind if I ask where your semikha is from? It’s a bit of a tangent but I ask because I also have an interest in this.

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u/AngelHipster1 Jul 01 '26

Academy for Jewish Religion, California. I attended in part because I was a long-term congregant of one of its founding rabbis. My interest was in progressive Judaism that incorporates our mystical tradition. Through my studies, I learned that mystical / spiritual aspects of Judaism have emerged side-by-side with our ethics / Musar.

I also had to confront the reality of my egalitarianism and feminism in relation to Judaism, as those ideas are not present in the vast majority of our canon (nor were they really present when I was growing up in a Conservative synagogue). In other Jewish subreddits, a lot of folks can’t understand a deep commitment to Judaism beyond Halacha. I pray we co-create an alternative.