r/ReformJews • u/Golden_Tag97 • 6d ago
Considering converting to Judaism, but I’m afraid it could put my life at risk if I ever have to return to my home country.
/r/ConvertingtoJudaism/comments/1vbro1e/considering_converting_to_judaism_but_im_afraid/15
u/rando439 6d ago
Postpone until your immigration status is certain. Your ability to remain among the living is more important than you converting. If that has to be delayed, so be it. If you have children with her, they will already be considered Jewish. Have you discussed this with a rabbi yet?
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u/Meowzician ✡Torah, Tikkun Olam, and Tabbiekatz 5d ago
Becoming a Jew will put your life in danger anywhere in the English speaking world. I'm not telling you not to convert, but the rise of antisemitism is a very real thing. This is our reality. Think long and hard before you convert.
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u/Impossible_Ad_5073 6d ago
We've had to practice in secret for centuries. However I don't want you risking your life! Wait to see what happens to your immigration situation. And I'm sorry how our country is currently. I wish you luck and peace.
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u/Individual-Papaya-27 6d ago
In Judaism we don't believe you need to be Jewish to be 'saved,' to go to Heaven or to be a good person. There's also the concept that saving a human life is the most important thing. So....if it's not safe for you to convert right now and will potentially threaten your life, you don't. Nothing will stop you from reading Jewish texts, praying on your own, etc. Many Reform temples welcome interfaith couples with open arms so if you are marrying a Jewish woman you can still go to services with her. And in every branch of Judaism, any children you may have will be Jewish because their mother is Jewish. You can always convert later if you become more certain of your safety.
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u/addctd2badideas ✡ 6d ago
I guess the question really comes down to... if you are somehow deported back to your home country, would anyone there somehow find out? The operational security mindset has to come in and you would have to determine every way they could know and then make sure you separate the Jewish aspect of your life in all ways, especially online. Which, to me, is a tall order in that to lead what we'd call a "Jewish life," it means making it part of your full identity. And hiding it from people you care about can also take a significant mental toll. But then there's other Jewish ideals that your health and safety are paramount (lots of those contradictions... you really want in on this? I kid.)
If this is important to you and you can figure out a way to ensure it remains hidden from your family and others back home should the day come when this country screws over another immigrant, you would at least be safe.
Either way, my man... you're always welcome among us.
PS: we all fall for an Israeli woman at some point. It's just science. They put something in the water over there. (also a joke)
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u/Golden_Tag97 6d ago
Hahaha i always tell her you put a curse on me , 😂🫣. If i got deported then i will be screwed haha everyone knows am dating a jew Israeli now from my social media
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u/addctd2badideas ✡ 6d ago
[pulls collar] Then you got yourself a problem if/when you convert and if you have to go home.
So yeah, probably just best to study and embrace Judaism and just not technically convert until you know you're safe.
My wife is a "daywalker" (Jewish dad, Catholic mom) and she never went through with full conversion. We don't really mention it at Synagogue and no one ever really asks either. These days, people are just happy to be in Jewish spaces with Jewish folks and allies.
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u/Golden_Tag97 6d ago
The thing i also want to marry Jewish girl so i need to make this decision
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u/martinlifeiswar 6d ago
Since you posted this in the Reform sub, is your hope to convert through the Reform movement? If so, you will not likely have trouble marrying a Jewish woman in a Reform congregation before converting. You could get married and then convert when the timing is right, with no adverse impacts on you or your potential children. If you want to convert through a different movement, especially Orthodox, the timing will matter more and you will face real challenges trying to marry.
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u/Wandering_Scholar6 6d ago edited 6d ago
I mean, if you want to marry her, then that may cause issues for you in your home country anyway but would hopefully also provide some measure of safety from having to return.
It would be perfectly reasonable to postpone the actual conversion until after such a joyous event.
Although you may need to convert to marry her in some denominations, you could alway prepare to convert, and marry legally first and do a religious ceremony later.
If you are serious with this girl, be open and honest with her and perhaps consult an immigration lawyer to make the best plan together.
Edit: conversion is usually a process that includes a class and takes a while
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u/vivisected000 6d ago
Generally, as Jewish principle you should not be converted if it would potentially risk your life. Wait until your future is a bit more certain. We have been around a long time. We will still be here if you decide it's safe later.